Total posts: 3,286
Posted in:
Its a must, that ya have to wear a seat belt whilst in a car.
You have to. Big fines otherwise.
It almost feels like "they" are looking out for our saftey.
We have to wear seat belts is fair enough, as the numerous amounts of studies show the benifits.
BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT we can all ride motorbikes if we want.,
So
Everyone on ya bikes Lets fucking race.
On ya marks , get set , Go.
Fucking broom broom.
No but, That really takes the piss out of having to wear seatbelts.
Alcohol when you are 18 or when you are 21 is debatable.
However . Ive not done no research sooooooo.
Im not sure.
Probably 21 is ummmmm, wiser.
You'd have to think.
Any effect you feel from alcohol is the effect from being poisoned.
Imagine getting drunk and having a bloody gun on ya. ( this is illegal right ? )
And so it should be butttttt
But.
But why. ?
Ive not drunk a full alcoholic beverage in over 4 maybe 5 years.
Nor did i much before that.
If i did . I'd fight all of ya at once.
I dont care.
If i remember correctly, Whiskey makes me brilliant.
Then ya get knocked out.
Thus evening it self out.
But some bastards go along time before getting knocked the fuck out.
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Imagine getting cremated.
OUCH.....
Thats gotta hurt right ?
And Then theres ,
Going to hell in a ummmm "cremated state " can i say .
Or going to hell in a "un cremated state. "
Going to hell after being turned to ashes would be like a walk in the park.
Youd think.
Well You would think.
Hey?
Yes?
Prob.
Maybe not.
Hang on a sec . Oh Darn it.
I almost forgot about our souls.
Its your soul thingy that goes to the hell and heaven joint hey?
Ya Souls don't get cremated or buried ya dumb dumb.
Very well played.
Very well played indeed.
Pretty much
All that the atheist no about death isssssss . When we die , their visual body decays.
Full stop
I mean ,
Ya wouldn't have the hide to elaborate on that would you.
Thats the MAX.
The christians on the other hand.
Welllllllllll
when we die we go up to the pod docking center.
Thats the new one near the garden entrance.
And That be approx 1000 ft up in like the sky. ( i have to double check that )
But Then From there we get zoomed away to like a big office werre you get a drink and finger foods and shit.
You wait till they call you.
They then stamp H on your forhead
H for hell.
Or
H for heaven.
Thats not quite clear yet.
Thennnnn ya go meet your dear grandma.
The lovely old duck.
You get to Kiss and hug her then bammmmmmmmmm.
Ya off again on the sorting machine rack thing they have set up.
And that muther fucker then drops you off at you designated destination ummmmm point.
Thus
Thus.
Starting the Shuttle of your arse to the " chosen " destination.
And thats All dependent on what season you are currently in.
You then get like 1 hour to write anything down that you want written down .
More finger food and a glass, i mean plastic cup of some horrible cheap ass bubbly.
So on and so fuck8ng on.
Soooooo what they are tring to say is.
after we die. Its just ya basics.
The christians know shit that we dont.
Gifted.
I can almost feel that horrible crunch then snap thing that happens when our souls detach.
You know what i mean.
Its a sickening sound
But ummmmm yeah.
' kicks dirt '
Good game.
Good game.
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As a show of good will.
And For the entirety of this week and this week only,
i will be excepting.
( ☆☆☆☆☆ God works in mysterious ways. ☆☆☆☆☆ )
as a ummmmm,
A "answer" if you will for stuff that god* does.
Im also 100% fine with god being God and or jesus god by the way.
Whatever floats ya boat.
So To have it a guess as to why jesus would do ummmm " that " to this lady isssssss.
Well we know God works in mysterious ways.
Sooooooo
MW.
FULL FUCKEN STOP
Shhhh,
Nope.
No, shhhh.
Don't wanna hear.
I don't wanna hear it.
Its straight up , MW.
MW .
Mysterious.
Ways.
Correct.
You are welcome.
Good game.
Good game.
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I like how they've have , FUN and MENTAL in their ummmm, title.
Fundamentalist.
Oh and, ( A MEN FUN LIST )
Hang on.
( FUN DENTAL MIST ) yeah.
No but ummmm ,
fundermentlist.
Actully , when you think of a " mental list " or a " A list of mentals " Christians are the first thing to mind.
( i think It'll be FUN putting CHRISTIANS on a, MENTAL LIST )
Ok, ok. ill stop now.
But what im gonna have you guys do is.
Try to Use the word ( fundermentlist ) 4 times over the weekend.
Also, use it once incorrectly.
Good luck.
Ya bunch of fucken mental lists.
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Sarah 29 : 47
Yessssssss. Have fun topping that.
I read the post alllllll the way to,(the numbers 77 into the 490 part bit )
Thank you.
Thanks guys.
Good game.
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MAY I SUGGEST THATTTTT.
IF.
And Thats If.
If your post read backwards said something like freaky and shit BK .
Thennnnn.
And only then will i belive satan is real.
Buttttt, your post read backwards don't even make any sense.
So Im not quite sure what the deal with that is.
Sooooooo.
I conclud that.
Rob 44 : 70
Its more then likely.
Thats.
MOREEEE.
Then likely .
The satan dude dosnt exist. M
He don't.
Actually i dont conclude.
lets say.n
I STRONGLY ASSUME. The devil dosnt exist.
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You know a great deal about this satan dude.
its not like ya ever seen him or nothing have ya ?
Or have you ?
It ( sounds like to me ) that it appears to me, that your go8ng about things that you think he woukd approve of.
But that cool.
But Its not like this satan guy did a little book book, like the other big god ones that did the book ones the book did i did i do , i did.
You know the book ones im talking bout.
Satan was that bloke whom made the card game tarots.
Or was he the guy that did them bloody Quiji board thigs.
But i dont th8nk he put a book out.
Well Im not certain.
But he didn't right. ?
And sadly .
I cant take any gods seriously if they didn't do a book.
I flat out refuse to.
Ffffffffff, Bookless gods . Why Ive no time for em.
Nope.
I put to you thatttt.
What youve heard about The satan guy god thing was from that friggen good guy god one hey ?
BE WARNED.
THE NEXT SENTENCE YOU READ YOU MAY NOT HAVE EVER READ BEFORE.
If i was a satanist I'd be all Like.
( ok now here is the sentence. ) i mean statement.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Yeah im a satanic butttttttt i dont no a terrible lot about him.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Bammmmmmmm,
Tell me you've heard That sentence you've never heard before.
I think i may have been the first person ever to write that sentence.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Again.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Yeah nah , im a satanist but its not like i know anything about satan
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Buttttttt. No fucking way .
Its devil sings all round , and black attire.
Fucking yeah satan .
Yes .
Rock the fuck on.
( insert death metal here . )
Thus
Thats thus .
Leeding to the inevitable.
Mmmmm. In evit a bull. Fun word to say.
Inevitable.
Inevitable
Fuck it , Im just gonna say it .
It leads to
A cute little goatie woaty getting fucked.Dun itl
It gets killed , and drunken, and eaten and shit.
And did i say fucked .
Oh yeah .
So it gets like alll fuck3d.
Intercourse.
Yeah.
Sexully . Intercoursed the little goat.
Yar mean.
Like putting ya actual cock " INSIDE " of the little goat
But only Becauseeeeeeeeee.
You , I and alllllll know full well.
that the devil dude guy satan FUCKING LOVESSSSSSSSSS.
Thats .
FUCKING LOVESSSSSS . WHEN YOU DO THE UMMMMMMMM, THE KILLLING OF GOAT THING.
He so does right?
Ya have to Pic him watching ya.
YOU ARE HEY ?
yeahhhhhhhh ,
hang on where was i again ? ,
thats right.
He watches ya kill that ( adorable ) little goaty woaty .
And his all like.
Slow Swaying side to side
Watching and spiting on his finger and rubbing it all on his six nipps and shit.
GOING .
MORE .
MORE.
MORE.
The above is like the sound that the devil dude makes when he wanks .
When you guys do the fun stuff for him.
THEN HE CUMS.
He then catches his breath .
He pulls up his black jeans. And just sits back and continues on watching
you guys Doing the cool shit for him that he adores
I mean.
Its only sensible right. ?
Right ?
So fucking is.
Wrap this up deb
Ok
Ok
So I guess What im trying to say issssss.
Liking the devil is sooooooo left feild .
It makes ya .
Well .
Edgy.
Different.
Cooooolllllll if you will.
Mmmmm yeah .
Oh and Your si diffrent to everyone else.
' hi 5 me. '
And Dont leave me hanging man.
Yeah . Devil horns.
Rock the fuck on.
Aight.
( insert electric guitar lick )
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Not meanning to boast or nothing
BUTTTTTTTTTT
The atheists have never had a clubhouse attacked.
Well i mean.
These days.
Twas a great idea for changing our clubhouses location hey guys.
Its almost like atheists "these days" don't have to even bother with the religious fucking fruit loops .
WHAT I BELIVE THE REPROCUSSIONS FROM THIS INCEDENT WILL BE.
repro or fallout will be.
isssssss. ( ok are ya ready for this. ? )
Well its like this.
The jewsh dudes now have to " get back " at Muslims.
Then welll have the muslims ( lash out ) at the christians.
Oh and the christians
The christians can then attack the muslims.
Thennnnn.
The muslims can badmouth /attack the jews andddd the christians.
Then the Christians can trash talk the Muslims.,
Thus causing the jews to start arguing and or lash out at the muslims.
Then the muslims can do "stuff." .
Causing the christians to fire back at the muslims.
Wich brings back in the jews.
Causing the muslims to fire up at Christins.
Then the christians will bad mouth the jews again making the Muslims feel left out.
Thennn The jews start up again causing the muslims to anger
This then starts up the christians forecing the jews back .,
Then the muslims chime in,
Causing christians to anger .
( AND WE'LL just TIMES THAT BY A 1000 )
So forth and so forth. .
Nonsense followed up with more fucken nonsense.
The "religious groups" these days
I liken it to. ummmmm
Playing ( SICCORS / PAPPER / ROCK.
With three or more people.
Its fucken terrible. Ya cant really.
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Holy scriptures.
BAMMMMMMMMM.,
That just triggered my oxymoron alarm for some reason.
Why might this be. ?
Holy. = SOMETHING OF GREAT IMPORTANCE.
Scriptures = A NONSENSE format.
NOW IF we ADD them Bitches up.
WHAT DO WE GET .
= ( Really important nonsense. )
Oh thats why.
But The way ( Holy scriptures ) triggeres my ( oxy alarm ) it ain't nothing on the way
( biblical scholar ) triggers it.
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Im sooooooo Looking foward to finding out
the meaning of.....
A un broken scripture.
I hope to GOD we dont have
( A ) broken scriptures.
Andddd
( B ) unbroken scripture.
As Differentiating
( A ) Literal scriptures.
From
( B ) Non literal scrips is hard enough.
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Carrot hatessss homosexuals.
Ha, ha , ha.
Do you get it ?
Like bums and carrots.
You know what i mean.
A carrot up ya backside.
Hang the fuck on a sec.
What would you call a carrot thats been inserted into a rectum. ?
CORRECT.
( A GAY CARROT. )
What im trying to say issssss.
The carrot would be the most inserted into a rectum fruit or vegetable.
Or would that be the cucumber.
I won't google that ,
Butttt , carrots would be the most inserted don't ya think.
Carrots are ok with contraceptive devices.
Remember doing that at school
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We've alllll eaten ( the body of christ. )
May i suggest.
The Body of carrot waffers.
Body of carrot.
Body of carrot.
mmmm yum yum.
Maybe once or twice a year we can sacrifice a baby carrot or two
Orrrrrrrrrr.
Holy carrot juice.
Oh fuck .
Ive drawn a picture of carrot before.
That can't be no good.
I'm guessing carrots would wants us allllllll circumcised.
Carrot god hangs around with mixed vegetables.
Soooo he aint racist.
Bugs bunny may be the anti christ
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Sooooooo
Whats The difference between having a " miscarriage " / miscarriaging. and " having " a abortion / aborting. ?
Fuck that actually has so many answers.
No Butttttt.
What im trying to say is.
God wouldn't be at all impressed with a person thats had a miscarriage.
Thats just SO GROSS .
A yukky miscarriage.
Having a miscarriage has to be a sin right ?
Definitely.
If you think about it, gods the dude who knows allllllllllll about women in the ( twenty first cent )
Im sure he knows about allllll the trials and tribs Rebecca faces.
And he knows whats best for Samantha.
But then there Tracy.
Oh And that other one . Whats her name again ?
Erika.
Yeah Erika.
Pic God doing his little book book thing with the future Erika at the fucking forefront of his fucking fort process.
Buttttt.
Read the bible and you'll become a womanizer.
As The bible is practically a book on how to get z bitches.
Ya know.
It dives reallll deap into vast areas of ye avrage female sycki. ( spell check )
It explains their likes their wants and needs.
It just Soooooo fucking deep right ?
What im saying is.
Its just a bloody good read if ya wanna know anything chick related.
Am i fucken right ?
Oh you are So fucking right deb.
Thankyou.
Thanks.
As We got like.
Us.
Thats. ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ THE MEN. ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
' crowd cheers '
Turns into.
' crowd roars '
and then there is also the gals.
Right ?
A big Thumbs up .
So um yeah.
' kicks dirt '
Cool then .
' uncomfortable silence '
Have a good day.
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Hang on a sec.
Is it ok with god if you have a miscarriage ? .
INTO
The ease of
DO ya reckon a girl can get a abortion and then simply tell others it was a miscarriage. ?
Maybe a service like that is needed.
A sneaky abortion clinic.
You can Call it like ( ARTS AND CRAFT SUPPLIES ) store.
You can see what that leads to.
But , if we are smarter about it.
We don't have to.
( so Records. )
Whats recorded, and whom gets to and can see it.
We could also change the word ABORTION to another, thus tricking the god thing and making it not what he means by it.
And thus Making god a omnifool.
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I use to feed my jewish boss bacon bits grounded into powder.
I did this for over a year.
Butttttt apartment, this doesn't effect them as they are unaware.
I think Thats fucking cheating.
But anyway.
Thussss, bringing us to.
LOOPHOLES.
rrrrrrrr loopholes.
Finding loopholes in a well thought out well worded ummmm, "documemts " is more difficult.
Into the knowing offfff.
Finding loopholes for ones self is easier then finding them for a " group "
Well one would assume.
Then i wannna say ( duty of care. )
having a major part in the play above.
Butttttt its not like the cops come and force you to get a supposed lifesaving " treatment " of sorts.
But With this " duty of care thing " comes Lia fucken bility.
( liability )
Well This is before loopholes but lets say it not.
A show of hands if you wanna be liable for anyones death.
No.
No one.
I ain't that fucken guy.
I dont want nothing to do with it.
But what about the accolades ???.
Accolades runs along side a " overall consensus "
A show of hands if you want to savev anyones life.
Yes please
Now we are at.
Liabilities v. Accolades. And or a "overall consensus"
Thus making me unsure.
Sooooooooooo.
PASS.
Good game but.
When talking about this abortion thing , We need to be provided with stats.
What if only 4 women in 100 years have been saved by aborting a baby.
Actually the number of women saved might i think woukd be massive buttttttt
There them "stats" on weather or not they might have died aint at all black and white.
But i really want stats.
Fuck , So again.
Pass.
Look I just dont know right
I don't wanna hear about it.
Just drop it right.
Pass.
Pass.
Pass.
So after Allll that i wouldn't think someones religious beliefs has anything to do with it.
But it does deb.
Fuckkk.
You are really pissing me off now
Here we go again.
PASS YOU MOTHER FUCKER
PASS.
Take note deb.
You just put.
( Is it right or not to have a abortion ) on a ( religious background. )
Don't fucking do that.,
Ok.
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@Stephen
Its been like 24 hours now of ummmm,
This now knowing that i am not gods child.
Before that post i thought , i like all where gods children.
Not " Gods children " with the two little inverted thingys .
Its, Gods children
I thought we where.
ffffff , Fuking silly deb he is.
This is a pure amateur mistake in your knowking on this subject stephen .
Butttttttt , i can only learn.
Sooooo After receiving some ejection, egacating fuckkk , education.
Ive lernt and now know.
NO.
I aint NO GOD CHILD.
I'M SIMPLY NOT.
END OF FUCKING STORY.
I don't wanna here it.
Butttttttttttt, apparently theres like this group.
" The chosen ones "
Or just ( chosen ones ) i think they are called.
mmmmm A CHOSEN ONE.
How cool would that be.
' starts applying black war paint '
So yeah.
Im thinking about becoming one of these " chosen dudes "
Getting one of the limited headbands ya know.
Butttt , thats another post.
' continues sharpening knife '
But stephen .
Im fine with this now knowing.
This coming to terms.
You know me man, im going to just fucking push through.
Simple.
To tell you the truth.
He never really felt like a second father to me.
Thats a ( red flag ). And i missed it.
And Henny Penny
If need be..
You'll be my Daddy right ?
I thought so.
' Hi, 5's.... '
So Im fucking gold.
Gold.
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What nationality were jesus 12 merry men. ?
I HIGHLY doubt apostles would " hang " with ummmm, others. Definitely not black peoples.
There his "apostles"
Not his homies.
Not his Boys.
Jesus would find it REALLLLL difficult to get 100 points for his ID
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Oh crap.
We are NOT all gods children .
Welllll, we are but, but. We aint.
But we are.
Dont anyone tell me about ( Churches coming together .
Dont you fuking dare.
That sounds like a post topic.
Are we gods children. ?
i looked up ,
Are we gods chikdren and it gives me.
Are you ready for this.
IN THE RICHEST FULLEST SCENES WE ARE.
Soooooo, that pretty much clears everything up.
AGAIN.
Wellllll , In the Richest , fullest, mother fucking scenes we are.
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Jesus should of traveled the world spreading the " word "
However,
He seemed to be limited to a realitivly small area.
And this is in a time im pretty sure they had Flying carpets.
Jesus didn't go to the Muslim parts. ( he didn't did he ? )
No But ummm,
Its almost like jesus and or god DIDN'T and DOESN'T like Muslims.
And other religions and religious groups.
We are ALLLLLL his children RIGHT ? .
If God wanted us all " gathering " together.
☆☆☆☆☆☆ wich is a BIBLICAL COMMAND. ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
" coming together "
He wouldn't of " invented '" a church.
As We weren't ever going to fit in one big building.
So weve a church here .
We got two over there,
Another one here.
And three there.
Allll the same denomination these lot.
Church A. Had 113 people in it.
Church B. Holds 300 plus members
Church C. 83 people go here
Church D. And 294 over there.
Gods biblical command.
( usssss alllll gathering together. )
Was NEVERRRRRR going to work .
Unlessssss
" Gathering together " means.
He wanted 214 in these "suburbs"
He wanted 168 gathering three towns that way.
Ya got 57 gatthering in a group 5 suburbs EAST from here.
294 wayyyyyyy over there,
He wanted 1000 plus churches in this country,
2000 in that country
And 3819 in that one
That aint really " comming " " together " Now is it. ?
Quite the friggen opposite actually.
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You do allllll know You can "accidentally" sit on a carrot right.
You fucken can.
It doesn't count as a bad thing.
ITS JUST A SIMPLE ACCIDENT RIGHT GUYS ?
FELLAS ?
Again.....
An accident.
What so you've never had a accident before. ?
Is that what your trying to say.
Now ya decide to make a big scene about it?
Can we just move along. ?
A Accident.
Thats all it was .
Look up the meaning of ( accident ) ya dickhead.
If its an accident, its a accident.
THATS IT.
And Really guys , i don't care what Ya'll think.
I dont have to defend myself to you lot.
You all fucken idiots anyway.
Ya obviously allll need a lesson on what a " accident " is.
Accidents happen , so just deal with it.
Ya can Consider yourselves ALLLLLLLLL on report.
Im not going to sit here and be bullied by you lot anymore.
JUST DROP IT RIGHT.
Soooooooooo anoying.
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@Best.Korea
I did the thing your thinking about , butttt it was corn being the god.
It boiled down to.
How the heck could any young person that ummm, searches for a god thing,get around or past the religious groups of today " GOD "
Religious groups and
The " painting " of the god thing they as a collective, have put forth.
ITS FUCKEN HORRIBLE.
HOW ARE THEY GOING TO KNOW THAT CORN IS THE " GOD " THING.
They dip the paint brush all the way to the bottom.
They then pull it out , and i shit you not .
They dont even run the side of the paint brush against the tin.
The just fucken slop on the god thing
Coat after mutha fucking coat. You know
( this is god ) get it in your head
Drips every where.
Thus the first thing you think of when ones ummm,
" looking for the god thing "
And the only thing you think of isssss.
Gods from a religion , religious group.
The plant Corn, aka the real god , doesn't even get seen.
Nor is it fathomed .
Asssss
The god thing is from one of them religious group things .
End of fucking story
FULL FUCKING STOP
Say no more.,
Andddddd with that.
A BIG thanks to religious groups for ruining a persons.
" search " for a god thing.
Say it with me BK .
Ruined.
They've Ruined it .
Its ruined.
Wankers
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@Best.Korea
Apart from no violence towards / on carrots.
Carrot god is cool with everything else hey BK ?
JUST FOR EXAMPLE .
I can kiss a man hey ?
I mean, Trevor can kiss Derrick.
Guys laying with guys is all good hey.. ?
do i need to.
Pray , worship , or like sing songs to the carrot guy . ?
Hows carrot God for cash ?
Is he allll good . I can give like $20 bux or something.
Do i have to believe in carrot god. ?
I just wanna be sure is al l
I don't wanna fucking miss out on dancing with carrots for an eternity.
That sounds like a blast.
Eternity dancing .
Im thinking, ( Comfortable shoes ) is ummm, a must.
A muscle top tee.
A pull over in case it gets cold.
Im probably gonna need a whistle. Like a ref whistle.
Oh and Glow sticks .
I am NOT currently making up a and practicing a " carrot dance "
Im fucken not man.
Not meaning to be rude BK , but im gonna need all the info you have on the Carrot God.
ALL THE INFO .
You'd be honest about it hey BK.
IF i have to wear like a Hawaiian print shirt or a kilt and a headband.
I need to know.
This is all our afterlife we dealing with here.
Thats pretty darn important.
Please don't fuck us over.
Be straight up.
THANKS PAL.
Do Do Do.
Do the carrot dance.
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@Best.Korea
If carrot god takes off ,
We could probably make a few bucks selling.
○°⊙°○⊙°○°⊙° 24 carat gold carrot god necklaces. °⊙°○⊙°○°⊙°
50 / 50 BK ?
Anyways , its just a thought.
We'll make them out of 8 carat gold.,
If anyone complains, we will tell them they must of misread the add.
We have 24 carrot god necklaces for sale.
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Long story short.
For 5 weeks in a row these two lovely old ladies would come around and they would prayer for me and bring me watchtowers.
My mother ended up having telling them nicely to stop with come around.
When i heard .
NO CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.
NOOOOOO BIRTHDAY PRESENTS.
And pretty much no birthday celebrations.
I DROPPED EM LIKE A BAG OF SHIT.
I thought.
WHAT THE FUCK DOES ( NO PRESENTS EVEN MEAN. ? )
NO PRESENTS.
NO THANK YOU.
THAT AINT FOR ME.
FUCKING WHACK JOBS.
My next " religious visitors was.
Two young kiwi guys on mountain bikes.
Yessss, it was them guys.
......................
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I bet the first thing Ya'll think when someone hands you a watchtower magazine isssssssss.
You ready for this.
Itssssss.
Do i have to fucking pay for this. ?
And or.
Are they just giving me this. ?
Fucking tell me its not.
The third thing you think is.
Do i have enough cash on me " just in case i have to pay for this shit.
By this time you haven't takin anything they've said to ya thus far.
Its just.
ARE THEY GIVING ME THIS. ?
DO I HAVE TO PAY FOR THIS. ?
Thats all.
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If anyyyyyyyyyyy religious person EVER talks about ( the end of the WORLD.)
You instantly know EXACTLY what religious group they are a part of.
INSTANTLY.
Actually they aint a religion anymore are they ?
However.
You just know they have to be a JW.
They have to be.
HAVE 2 B.
End of fucking story.........
If a religious person sayssssss.
NO.
We don't know jesus was born on Christmas day.
YOU FUCKING INSTANTLY KNOW
What religious group they belong to.
Although the two above "things" aint "exclusive" to the jw's.
They so fucking are.
You know who told them these things . ?
It was them bloody gold plates.
The JW are sooooooooo fucking sensible.
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@zedvictor4
HeHe. AIHAI.
When i think of ... Immac perceppy ,
I instantly think about .
( The silence of the lambs )
The Wanking off in ya hand , and then throwing it at someone.
Thats Aslo know as, Spiderman. Like when he throws his web.
But Whats a better ummmm , trait
Having Al . Artificial intel
Or being , Omniscient ?
Ha.
Ha.
AI aint shit when your omni.
AI would throw gods omni out of whack.
Actually.
Im now Picturing the desert scribes that did the bible ,
Allll virgins.
Thus they where not sure on exactly how babies got made .
They all agreed that
Immaculate perception would probably seem the most feasible way.
Its That Or
Spitting a orange seed into a females mouth.
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I just seen a big like, box of carrots at the fruit and veg shop.
I said to em .
" is that you god. "
And um yeah , i got nothing in response.
Actually, Maybe i should of purchased the lot of them , then return them back into the wild.
Thus, hopefully removing my ( eating of the carrots sin. ) that I've committed.
Thus, meeting the requirements for ( group 3 )
THUSSSSSS, reciving My , ( Eternity of dance with the carrots.)
Well Thats what im gunning for.
How might you think carrots dance. ?
A Carrot god i can grasp.
It makes sense
I just find it difficult picturing, carrots dancing for some reason.
To have it a guess. ( slow dancing )
Again.
Everything would be sooooo much more ummmm , excepting , and much more believable,
If god carrots had SIMPLY got some other fruit and veg to write stuff down for him.
Thennnnn SIMPLY have them compost that into a book.
I mean , compile that into a book.
I don't know a great deal about gods , but one thing is for certain.
A real true important like god , would have ,, and do, do books.
I mean , have a book.
You know what i mean.
☆☆☆ Put a book out. ☆☆☆
Because, A Non book god says.
Nuffin. Not a thing. I cant even send it money.
( a door opens )
Hey do ya reckon someone could like, make up a bunch of well worded, well scripted out nonsense,
Thennnnn Write it down.
Say its from the carrot god
And in doing so, make a few bucks out of it ?
I reckon you could.
Thennnnnnn once that Avenue of raising revenues dies down a little.
Start on the carrot god clubhouse planning.
That being. ( a building with a odd looking roof. )
Truth be told.
One could prob just make up a GOD,
Then just make up a BOOK .
Then a CHURCH like place.
ORRRR
Would that be impossible for a " religion " to form , WITHOUT the hands of a actual god. ?
LIKE JUST TOTALLY MAKE IT ALLLLLLLLL UP.
Justtttt,
Make ir up.
Im soooo supprised no one has done that yet.
Started a religion without even ever seeing a god.
I so reckon ya could.
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Somewhere on our body we have like a little hole.
All you have to do is shove like a toothpick or something in it to reset.
I think i might know where the little reset hole is , but im yet to put a pin in it.
Imagin trying to forget how to spell the word ( garden )
That sounds way more difficult then learning how to spell it.
Ive noticed
Going to the supermarket then coming out and knowing where you parked gets a little more ummm harder with age .
You can feel the exact thing that this post asks.
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Imagine being sent to hell ,
You start falling , Instantly you would begin yelling
" BUT WHO WAS THE RIGHT GROUP "
Im close to positive that when we die.
Within the first 3 mins.
A announcement will comes over spekers telling us,
The CORRECT group was the ( __________ )
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Do the carrot dance.
If carrot was to ummmm, do a little book book.
I've a feeling i know EXACTLY how he is going to talk.
Example. ....
Cucumber 22 : 52
And thy shall not pass ground upon the fast square tent peoples.
And 40 bears go up there baldy.
Or perhaps.
Tomatoes 17 : 33
And the sun shone brightly from the upper lower floor level tic tac.
For the light was passed around.
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Spelling must take up a fair few mega bites.
Thus bring us to ( knowledge )
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Now ya gotta start weighing shit up.
If you eat carrots, It may Lower your blood pressure ( now. )
Buttttttt
When you die you want be given new life.
Fuck what do i do.
However I've eatin " baby carrots " before so I'm screwed.
Speaking of screwed.
What i did with my girlfriend once with a carrot may help my cause.
If only carrot god put out a book , all will be clearer
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@zedvictor4
Good day boss.
From immaculate conception to birth shouldn't be 9 months
Well you wouldn't think it would be.
From Immac concep to birth should be 24 hours.
Max.
If it was 9 months.
You'd think he should of just done it the ummmm, the "normal" way.
Two words that one may get confused with is.
Immaculate / Ejaculate.
Have you ever tried immaculately conception on a chick before zed.
What about
Forced immac concep. Or Rape if you will.
Pre immaculate
What If one was to ask a shella if you can immaculately conception her.
And she says ... NO.
Would you still do it anyway. ?
Maybe pin her down and immaculately do her.
Immaculate Rape.
Immaculate miscarriage.
Actually i don't think im getting this ( immaculate conception ) thing.
Pass.
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There's bits with like a name folowed by numbers.
Example
Eric 22 : 48
Or
Stephanie 51 : 89
Then its followed by a funny worded sentence or two.
Wellllllllll, them parts are asking people to " decipher " it.
And boy can some people decipher BRILLIANTLY.
Some people means christians.
They are alllllllll real good at it.
And John'o does "it " diffrent then Ben'o buttttttt they both are the best.
Thus.
We've 878,265 Christians in .
☆☆☆☆ THE TOP 100. ☆☆☆☆
Sooooooooooo
Christian Ben makes parts of the bible wrong .
Says christian, Helen and Morris.
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I purchased a top dollar trail cam .
Ive had it for over a month now.
Of course i don't believe in god .
Butttt.
.
If i set that bitch up , at the back of my house.
WITHIN THE FUCKING first WEEK .
I'll have God pop up.
And it will scare me and.
He will.
I'll have ghosts floating around .
The Orb things.
Little girls.
Maybe even a skinwalker.
A atheist isn't meant to see shit like that.
ILL BE TRAUMATIZED FOR SURE.
SOOOOO.
I'M TELLING YOU ALL NOW RIGHT.M
IM NOT GOING TO SET IT UP.
NOPE.
YOU CAN ALL GO FUCK YOURSELVES.
You guys are Sooo anoying.
Im going.
▪○°•▪○°•▪○°•▪○°•▪○°•▪○°•▪○°•▪○°•○••▪○•
With a mega influx of door bell cams trail cams , phone cams drone cams.
James web cams . Body cams. .
Nanny cams .
Spy cam.
Box of tissues cams .
With this .
Any day now we will have god slip up and reveal himself.
It probably wont count as proof.
Butttt, its something right Guys .
I SAID. NOOOOOOOOO.
I'M NOT SETTING MY DAM CAM.
DON'T START AGAIN.
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Imagine Being cremated.
Thats gotta sooooooo hurt.
Allll the holy books have " suggest " a hell of sorts .
Anddddd , they say hell is like being cooked from the inside out , MEGA PAINFUL.
SOOOOOO, this " suggest " we can and are capable of feeling ummm, heat.
Its HOT.
Guys .?
Its hot in hell right. ?
Sooo A total guess i know buttttt.
I suspect.
Being burnt to fine ash in a furnace.
Also may equal.
HOT.
And
HOT = OUCH.
I've actually accidentally burnt myself before right.
And fuck me.
The pain .
Oh the pain.
Its so painful thatttt, being dead probably wouldn't " numb " the pain .
Not that burial offers much comfort.,
Imagihe Being buried .
And then sufficating to death from being buried.
You can start to see why we go up the mountain and find a place to lay down to die.
Although this hinders / and makes ones ummm , first actual READ death somewhat uncomfortable.
Ok ok.
I don't want to have to ask butttttt.
Fuck it.,. I'm a gonna ask.
CAN YOU FEEL THINGS AFTER YOU ARE DEAD. ?
Its a simple fuck8ng question.
Its just a question.
You really need feelings .
For( pain ) and (an eternity)
I mean, they have a feel about em.
SO PAIN AFTER DEATH.
YES.
OR
NO.
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Todays thursday.
So unfortunately Im not God today.
I switched shifts with Harold 2 weeks ago.
So. Tuesday.
Its Tuesdays.
I do the Afternoon shift.
Thats 12 pm to 3 pm.
Then it goes Lisa , Roger and Ben.
No jeff.
It goes Lisa , Roger and jeff.
Twas sooooooo funny how
God went without a operator.
For close to a hour 45 just over a week ago.
Ive seriously already forgotten about it .
ummmm yeah. .
' kicks dirt '
Cool bananas.
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He doesn't get out like he use to thats for sure.
God use to be cool .
He use to be funnn.,
Going around , Blowing cunts minds turning up in his ( FLAMING BUSH Attire.)
Crazy Mo Fo. His Party tricks and shit.
A real pleasure to be around.
But it then stopped.
He got alllll serious and shit.
About the time he
" laid down the MO fo law "
Its was almost like he was ummmm, dare i say " Ageing
Like getting Older.
' Alarm rings '
☆☆☆☆☆ ITS TIME FOR A EMBARRASSING QUESTIONS ☆☆☆☆
I think i know the answer buttttt,
To be safe.
God doesn't age right guys. ?
He don't hey?
His not 72 right.
( For reference )
Keepin mind that Noah was barley 500 when he built the archy and Adam died before he was even A SINGLE THOUSAND YEARS better ( 1 )
One thousand years old.
Gods older then that right.?
Butttttt he aint FUN no more.
He just aint around.
He is allllll about score keeping and watching us humans
He hangs out in a shity old hotel now.
Room servicing.
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A theist once told me.
I have poor grammar and my posts are hard to read.
And in the same post he was translating a scripture.
Ha.
I told him.
Patricia 22 : 49. I was very sorry about that.
Problem solved.
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@Best.Korea
They both translate scriptures REAL FUCKING GOOD LIKE.
You and i BK are the worst translators on site.
With You being a fraction bit better then i.
Over 85% translations always come out ,
EAT YOUR VEGETABLES IF YOU WANT TO GROW UP BIG AND STRONG.
And the rest ,
Welll
UP THERE BALDY.m
Ever second scripture im trying to make said scripture allude to Bears attacking kids.
Maybe i can explain this better in song .
From the TOP.
A one.
A two.
A one two three four.,
Just the two of usss.
We Couldn't translate shit if we tried.
Poor decipherers.
You and I.
You and I.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Actually.
Dont tell know one BK .
Butttttttt, heres what i do.,
Instead of i translating scriptures.
I just adopted the meaning from whom i think are the best of the best.
Thusss
Im prob the best translator we have here on site.,
Lar dee fucking dar.
Sometimes i like to make the meanings of scriptures really really dark and evil.
Yepper.
But ummm ,
I kneel down right , like im squatting.
And then.
I just simply tilt foward until fall.
Well.
Thats how i roll.
Imagine the judge or judges of a scripture translating competition.
The pope. Perhaps.
A Scholar arrrrr.,
And Stephen.
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Not having to prove a God exists.
Your welcome.
Move along.
They push.
Allowing you guys to Have your " christian " God inspiring / doing the holy bible . Guys .
We could probably do that for them ?
Dont want to butttttt.
What the fuck ever.
But thats it right.
Now Move along.
They push.
Wellllllll
What about
God talking to "us" via Golden plates from inside of hat.
Can we accept it. ?
' spits in furious anger. '
' talks under breath '
Them fucking rat bastards.
GUYS ?
Why the FUCK NOT HEY.
Whatever the theists decide.
Its totally up to them.
We can just go from there
Actually no fuck it.
A toast.
To the theists
'TO THE THEISTS ' ,
THE RELIGION FORUM WINNERS.
OF ALLLLLLLL TIME.
FULL FUCKING STOP
Bugger it.
They got us good.
' hand out to shake '
Fair game.
Fair game.
Theists. 1.
Atheists. negative a hundred.
END OF THE WORLD .... HERE WE COME.
All we can ask isssss .
Can you guys please let us know when the worlds going to end, so we can prepare a little for it.
Thanks guys, much appreciated.
' bites fist ' arrrrrrrrr.
XOXO .
Three cheers to the THEISTS.
Hip, Hip, Hip.
Ray. Ray. Ray.
Fucking wankers.
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I've an idea.
Actually NO.
It would be WRONG to ask a.
▪°•▪°•▪°•▪°•▪°• BLACK MAGIC 8 BALL. ▪°• ▪°•▪°•▪°•
If Gods real. ?
Asssssss.
Some of the responses allude to.
Yessss
It is certain.
Without a doubt
And.
Yess certain.
Soooooooo,
Thats no good.
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If i was wrong,
( NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS BUT ILL ENTERTAIN. )
The last thing I'd want is. To know that I am.
Wrong that is.
I mean.
That sounds horrible.
Imagine
▪°• ▪°• ▪°• ▪° HAVING TO KNOW YOUR WRONG ▪°•▪°•▪°•▪°•▪°•
No thanks.
I've never been , what was it again ?
Warong.
Rong.
EVERRRRR. Before.
Ive been rolling thru life spot on.
100%
Lets say just for fun thatttttt God was real.
He'd want to keep his dam mouth shut.
IF I COULDN'T BE A ATHEIST ANYMORE.
Why i would just MELT.
That means ALLLLLLLLLL my work and learning ive put into the "Atheists bloddy alliance" would amout to nothing.
Ive put 25 to 30 YEARS IN TO PRACTICING THE MANY FACETS OF ATHEISM.
NOT MEANING TO BOAST.,
BUTTTTTTTT
I Know pretty much all there is to know about not believing in a god or gods.
I can not believe with the best of em .
Some say im a ( atheistic scholar. ) or. A ( atheist extremist )
Oh andd
If this hypothesis was reallll.
Id lose my atheist ranking.
Wich has TAKEN yearrrrrrrrsssssss of learning about not beliving.
TO BE RONG WOULD JUST KILL ME INSIDE.
Life i believe would become pointless.
If atheism becomes redundant.
For I'd be wyronga.
Ronga , Wrong.
Wrong.,
Id loss all me fucking morals also.
Pooof , out the door.
So I'd have to learn a system of sorts to get them puppies back.
Ive so so much FAITH in atheism being real.
Soooo yep, that as well.
Id lose me faith.
Id be wandering around aimlessly completely faithless .
I couldn't even be a unbelieve anymore.
OH THE pAIN .
Just because i can't spell that well.
It dosnt mean im not omniscient.
Kunts.
Good game.
Good game.
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I wonder how polygamy may effect domestic violence.
And cases of domestic violence.
One wife says you hit her the other 4 say he didn't and doesn't.
Thats but one example.
I can think of a bunch more.
In the areas of domestic violence.
Polygamy might mess with divorce procedures also hey.?
What is the perfect amout of wives to ummmm, " have "
you'd have to think 4 maybe 5 .
Having 5 wives would cure mastibation.
I mean
I wouldn't pull me knob if i had 5 wives.
Also Infedeliyty.
I wouldn't cheat on my wives if i had several.
Rape. ? Nope . No need , For you've 5 wives.
I wouldn't even Watch porn if i had several wives.
So thats another area.
It would probable cure an addiction to porn.
A wife with 4 or 5 husbands doesn't, i mean , i wouldn't think it would work like the above.
Domestic violence would be 4 of my 5 husband's assulted me.
Thats worse.
imagine if 1 and sometimes 2 of ya 5 husband's was abusive.
Orrrrrrrrr going by a womens " judgment of character "
And how foul MEN are.,
5 out of 5 husbands would abuse there wife.
However.
If Gerald was abusing my and his wife.
I might not need to bother.
Orrrrrrr might not need to find in nesesary.
Assssssssss Geralds doing it.
Nothing is clear cut.
I wouldn't think Polygamy and religion are at all very good together.
Oh So so many factors.
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@TheUnderdog
Hey dogg.
You know that i to like to live life dangerously.
Im in.
I'll except writings in the sky
I will also accept.
Giant face in the sky.
Anddddd
If God talks to me.
If God appears to me..
Maybe even something like a ghost.
Andddddddd.
I'll fucking LET IT RIDE .
For a whole week.
No fuck it.
A month.
Orrrrrr
For life maybe.
Not the ghost thing. Butttttt.
The Writing in the sky is a little bit more soft.
The big face in the sky however issss, the REAL DEAL.
YA cant combat a big face in the sky.
I mean
Nothing says god is real more then a big face in sky .
To me.
For me.
Hey drones and air writing. ?
I sometimes wonder maybe one is to join a religious thennnnnn,
Beliving in a god thing soon follows.
Imagine if you started beliving in a god , youd have to then join a religious group.
( what a fucked up sentence that is. )
Find the link between.
Beliving in a god thing
And joining a religious group.
Everyone that believes in god says or is in a religious group.
Within reason . ( everybody )
A lot more people should believe in a god like thing and not be in a religious group.
You'd have to think
Beliving in god seems easier then joining a religious group.
Again , To me.
Imagine doing both in like a week.
Thats gotta be some wild mo fuck week.
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One could only Guess what they might make their God tell them next.
And in here lie the danger.
IM SO EMBARRASSED TO ASK BUTTTTT.
DO Bible's on my computer work EXACTLY the same as the paper ones.?
Just a quick yes or no.
( they do right. )
Dont make a friggen scene that i had to ask.
Look i just didn't know .
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@RaymondSheen
You can feel the paganism in us.
We are Oh so pagan.
Its Horrible .
But you can feel that everyone was pagan .
Not true buttt,
We are sooooooo pagan.
I don't even eat kids now but.
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@Best.Korea
Hi pal
Can i get you a nice icy cold drink of water ?
Orrrr.
Can i baptize you. Please. ?
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