Total topics: 6
I know people will think it is fake as is my quitting but it is 100% real and in the weirdest strangest contradiction of everything, I have realized that I should never have had the rich yet agonizing experience of meeting all those individuals.
I cannot even begin to understand how crazy I am. I am seeking therapy IRL.
I am not sure how to fix myself. If there is a god I cry in appreciation of the mercy shown to let me have gotten away with being such a prick for so long. I got protected a LOT by god and do believe in one. Again, I know I write this, feel this and in a couple days need to fight myself reverting. I am just saying I see it now. I didn't see it before. Not really. Not ever. In my eyes I was always reacting, responding, yet I was instigating and provoking too.
I want to formally apologize for selfish reasons to get it off my chest also so that this is the last post that defines me which is a privilege Id not even have if David had had his way and banned me and maybe was right to want that.
To make this at least seem less of my attention seeking bullcrap Ill be specific in my eloquent way (the eloquence is real, egotistical or not).
Airmax, if somehow you see this via others, I am sorry and grateful too for you seeing me as the troubled guy I was and having mercy always.
Bench, Sir Lancelot, Ramshutu, Wylted, Lunatic, all of you. I allowed my pain and agitation to cloud me. Sorry means nothing here. I understand if you all think I'm a shithead. I really see it now, it hurts and I am writing this before my ego blinds me and before I detox from all social media.
I am sorry to whiteflame for the stress caused and a lot of other mods too. I did have others along the way that led to me feeling goaded into drama especially the presidency shit, and Austin with the challenge of who won.
I do not know how bad I would have been as president but the stress and anxiety would likely have made me worse and at best (yes, best) led to me quitting in a tantrum.
I do not fathom why Wylted won. I do feel I got manipulated to run by at least 1 member. However, it was my inability to go: "nah, I am too busy and this affects my mental health enough already" that led to me even being on a site I never should have helped grow with all my activity nor should have despised.
Mikal, sorry for assuming the worst. I do not grasp charity of the sort you got, blame my autism blame anything. There are many members perhaps including me that needed such money to help us gain independence or pay bills/fees. We needed it as bad and I do not get why you get to be the favorite saved one yet look at me.
Just look at me. The toxicity I got away with.
I helped build DART up from scratch but I tarnished it all the way through as well. I think it is a lie to say sorry for how I acted alone. I am sorry for acting at all. Even to myself. I tried to soothe pain of being a pathetic loser IRL stuck in a super toxic situation that covid lockdown exacerbated and was never truly mentally well.
I literally kept the same username not because I thought it was still entirely true but fear of others impersonating me. I didn't think I mattered that much, I thought somehow what if they did and what they do gets associated with me etc.
I live with that fear. That may never go. It is paranoia maybe but I am at a loss as to how to escape such a vicious trap. The only alternative would be passively viewing just to get a clue if such a member became obviously prominent, which would tempt me to sign up anyway.
Online forum addiction is not a specifically recognised addiction. I cannot be sure it ruined me or if I was already broken. The latter is way more likely.
I am not only sorry. I want anyone else addicted to this to please not make me famous for this post but to ask themselves and ask others the question if the wins are even worth it.
I am saying places like this are inherently flawed and bait people in let's say Russia or China to say stuff that gets them brutally dealt with. It brings out the worst in us. Even if we are kind, how can we help others? Some see that freedom as good. Why do you need this to feel good? Ask yourself why. Really ask it again, use your debating tactics to debate against the delusion. Then ask, even if that is a valid reason, is this even close to the best way to handle it?
I am most ultimately sorry for being a vibekiller to every single one of you. I felt I had to be special and active to keep the vibe up, I cannot undo this... Wish I could.
Created:
Updated:
Category:
Personal
One of our contributors who helped DART through voting and creating debates is now officially leaving the site for good.
His name is Slainte.
Please use this thread to say your goodbyes and express appreciation.
I'll formally announce his resignation from The Tournament within a week in-case he changes his mind.
Created:
Updated:
Category:
DebateArt.com
It was fun while it las-
na, it was stressful and addictive.
But fuck me, it was an emotional journey few can fathom a simple tiny website could give you. This trained my brain in multiple ways. Thanks for that.
Wylted, you are a prick I have no respect for but I was truly outplayed by you in that election by your slimeball dogshit strategy and I thank you for humbling me. You are a force to be reckoned with not because you are smart but because you see things others don't, you see logic where others see chaos and mystery. You must have had an interesting brain to experience in life, fellow madman.
Barney, you are the true alpha male of this website, even Wylted knows it and is working well with you I see.
The rest of you were not worth mentioning, know that and earn your relevance. Good luck.
Created:
Updated:
Category:
Personal
This time I have really gotten bored of debating, I'm not quitting because I'm addicted to debating but because I'm bored of it. I just posted a round of simple argumentation to one debate and that's it I am done here.
I know what you are thinking but I just wanted you to know that I am done with debating and that I never joined this site to 'rise to the top' in and of itself, I came to be the best at debating even if the Elo didn't show it. The competitiveness was for show and in reality I am more humble than a lot of you realise but that's fine by me.
I think it has gotten to a point where I enter a debate, know the ways it can pan out and get too bored to 'type it out' and passionately fight to the end.
Even if I tried and then lost, even that loss no longer seems to be based on an actual error of logic on my part but instead an error in grasping how voters perceive strength of arguments and what matters more vs less, this even applies to rap battles and songs.
I do appreciate what spending (not wasting) my life debating on this website has done for me and I may come on now and again as a forum chatter. I guess Trump losing and some other things going well for me IRL have led to me finally understanding that I don't need to argue my way through life in actuality, even if I'm right. People really are capable of seeing truth at times and when they don't it's not really my duty to 'prove them wrong' other than those that really matter to me and seek my wisdom and vice versa, no one's duty to convince me of the truth if I believe a lie.
I think that true strategy dictates that we avoid the need to debate as much as possible, even if we are lawyers. Instead the superior strategist uses evidence and relies on 'common sense' notions which (if wrong) they gently nudge but don't brutally say is 'wrong'. These are the people who actually go furthest in life and prove people wrong in any true sense.
I can sit here all day typing and what have I achieved? In the past, I gained wisdom but it seems that I'm no longer learning 'how to think' or 'how to debate', just 'how to angle the debating so that voters back me up'. It's not fun, it's not rewarding and I also never really got over how David/Virtuoso and Ragnar betrayed me the way they did and never once admitted they were wrong.
If I combine everything together, this is a place I no longer gain wisdom, joy or even anything close to friendship from. That's why I am done regularly engaging here. You can think whatever you want about me and 'bet when he will return'. I seriously don't see me coming back to actually debate, I may come back to post rarely in the forums because I feel like sometimes there really is information to garner from someone who's more researched in a political, theological or whatever else realm and challenging them is a good way to open your mind based on their reply. Other than that, there's not much keeping me here, I have to finish off the fantasy football league but that doesn't require me to use this website. I think I'll get fourth there, out of ten. Which isn't that bad considering how little I knew of the sport or the game structure of fantasy football to begin with.
I may get sixth though, who knows? Thanks for giving me wisdom and a hobby for a long while in my life.
Created:
Updated:
Category:
DebateArt.com
I've realized that this site is taking up far too much of my time. I don't have the motivation to continue. I'll be leaving as of now. I may log in briefly later to say a few final goodbyes. Thank you all very much for being good to me for the few months I've been here. I am sorry to have to quit in the middle of the mafia and Survivor games. I to thank you all for being good friends to me. Thank you for putting up with my bad jokes and laughing at my satire. If I have offended or wronged any of you, I sincerely apologize. I wish all of you the very best. As a final request, learn to forgive others. The recent events on the Political Engine server have created a lot of drama and controversy. Don't bear anyone any grudges for it. I don't think I have made any enemies while I'm here, and for that I'm glad. If I have done so unintentionally, please accept my complete apologies. I do not know if I shall be gone forever or if I will someday return.
Again, I am very thankful for how you have all treated me. May the grace and mercy of our God and of His Son Jesus Christ be with you all.
Created:
Updated:
Category:
Personal
First, I must confess that I have actually been on this site before, as well as debate.org. I didn't get a 13, turning 14 winstreak for no reason. I have done over 50 debates including BearMan. I have another account on this site, which I asked Ragnar to close.
Second, I must thank everyone on the site, regardless of their relationships with myself. I would like to thank the mods for running the site, as well as the users. I would also like to thank MisterChris, seldiora, Intelligence_06, Ragnar, oromagi, and ILikePie5 for just being wholesome people.
To Intelligence_06:
Thanks for having the debate with me about the term "All Lives Matter", I learned a lot about the social movements, and thoroughly enjoyed the debate.
To MisterChris and Ragnar:
Thanks for being good mods, that's all I have to say.
To seldiora:
The importance of debate is not to accumulate wins, but to learn how to debate. Rather than going full brute force at a debate, go from a side angle, which will lessen your burden of proof and make you more likely to win. Also, you have to learn better format. Develop your own, use Ragnar's, or mine. The only reason I got from a very low place on the leaderboard to 18th was because of format.
To oromagi:
bruh why are u so good?
To the people that hated me:
I can understand why. That said:
And with that, I am out. At least until the end of today.
My Profile:
My Youtube Channel's Best Video:
Created:
Updated:
Category:
DebateArt.com