Why is it morally wrong for me to have 2-3 wives, perhaps 2 wives 1 long term GF?

Author: RationalMadman

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This may come off as a bit offensive but this kind of thing along with a lot of consent based morality is just high IQ liberals showing a lack of introspection and projecting their own mindset onto others. High openness, high IQ liberals are capable of treating others in some weird sex polycule with respect, of carefully divorcing their monkey brains sense of jealousy with their actions, maybe even getting off a little bit on the tabooness of the whole thing. If it’s not for them they’re capable of stepping away from the whole thing gracefully and not judging their partner because hey they did it too. 

That’s not how it works with Joe Sixpack. It ends with violence, heartbreak, a sense of betrayal, failure to bond, unstable relationships and living situations, lifelong loneliness for those cast out etc. Nobody is willing to say it to her but absolutely no one is going to want a woman who was one of Chad’s many live in fuck toys. The amount red flags there is just incredible. There was a famous article about this rather ugly woman who had four boyfriends living with her. She got pregnant and one of them ended up almost killing the baby. That’s how this sort of thing actually ends for normal people 
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@YouFound_Lxam
It is wrong, because the bonding of two people (man and a woman) is shown to be the perfect mix to raise children. 
How is this shown exactly? What evidence do you have that proves this claim?

You have one father figure, and one mother figure. The one father figure is supposed to raise based on his beliefs and principles. As soon as you have more than one father, then there different ways of thinking that is taught to the child. Then the child is confused. Then as soon as you have more than one mother, then the same thing applies. Mothers and fathers teach different things. So if you had more than one of both, then the child would be confused on who to trust, who to believe, and who to base there life principles on.
Or you raise your children to believe that there is more than one perspective in the world and it's a persons responsibility to question and consider the beliefs and principles presented to them and come to their own conclusions based on their observations, experiences and reasonings. In fact I'd say that giving a child only one voice they trust and believe is a bad idea. I learned from my parents who had different views in many things and my aunts and uncle and grandparents all of whom had many different perspectives on many different topics. This worked because they never taught me that their beliefs and principles were the only valid beliefs and principles, but instead taught me to consider what people tell me and make my determinations based on that consideration and personal experience.
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@RationalMadman
My primary issue would be the double standard. If you can have more than one partner why can't your partners?
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@amandragon01
How is this shown exactly? What evidence do you have that proves this claim?
“Results of the 2009 study showed that families living with a man who was not the biological father of all the children in the home, and families living without a man in the home, were significantly more likely to be contacted by CPS compared to families in which the biological father of all the children lived with the mother…Children living with their married biological parents had the lowest rate of abuse and neglect, whereas those living with a single parent who had a partner living in the household had the highest rate.  Compared to children living with married biological parents, those whose single parent had a live-in partner were at least 8 times more likely to be maltreated in one way or another. They were 10 mores more likely to experience abuse and 8 times more likely to experience neglect.”




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@thett3
A very good reply. Yet hardly proof that the other is 'perfect' I know a number of people who faced abuse at the hands of their biological, married parents. I've known a number of single parent families that I'd say raised their children as well as any with both parents and I've seen children who had incredible stepparents. To say that statistical probability is the same as a 'perfect mix' is hardly fair. In most cases I'd agree that where possible the biological parents are preferable, but I'd hardly say that it's proven to be a conclusive perfect mix. Also, that does nothing to address the matter of polyamorous relationships. What if the biological parents are married and have a live in lover, which way does that skew the statistics? 
YouFound_Lxam
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@amandragon01
Or you raise your children to believe that there is more than one perspective in the world and it's a persons responsibility to question and consider the beliefs and principles presented to them and come to their own conclusions based on their observations, experiences and reasonings. In fact I'd say that giving a child only one voice they trust and believe is a bad idea. I learned from my parents who had different views in many things and my aunts and uncle and grandparents all of whom had many different perspectives on many different topics. This worked because they never taught me that their beliefs and principles were the only valid beliefs and principles, but instead taught me to consider what people tell me and make my determinations based on that consideration and personal experience.
You can teach this with two parents as well. Teaching your kid that our world views might be different than other family's. It is important for a child to have a figure that they can trust with different roles for different problems. Mixing in more than two would confuse the child. You can't make beliefs without a base belief. What are they going to base there beliefs off of, if they don't even know whos view to base there own beliefs on. Children aren't born with the knowledge of how the world works. You have to teach it to them. 
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@YouFound_Lxam

So you are saying that children are programmable bots.  I agree.
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@YouFound_Lxam
You can teach this with two parents as well. Teaching your kid that our world views might be different than other family's. It is important for a child to have a figure that they can trust with different roles for different problems. Mixing in more than two would confuse the child. You can't make beliefs without a base belief. What are they going to base there beliefs off of, if they don't even know whos view to base there own beliefs on. Children aren't born with the knowledge of how the world works. You have to teach it to them. 
You can. My parents did, but my point is that you don't need to have one role model that the child holds as the source of truth. As for needing a belief before you can have a belief... That's sounding like an infinite regression. As for whose view to base my beliefs off of? I always knew that my parents were always very clear on that... I based my beliefs off of my views, it's true that other people informed those beliefs, but it wasn't an individual it was a group of people who I spoke with, questioned and trusted for a long time. The last sentence is also immaterial to this discussion, as more than one person can do that. As I said, I learned how the world works from a very present and involved extended family as well as my parents. None of this seems to suggest only one parent is necessary or preferable unless you want to instil particular beliefs in a child.
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@amandragon01
Nothing is "perfect" but the point of social mores/taboos is to shepherd us away from elements of our nature that are now maladaptive into something better. In my mind it's quite obvious that what happens in the state of nature is that a small minority of the most high status men monopolize all the women. This is what happens in modern day polygamous societies, it's what the DNA evidence suggests happened in the past where women were around twice as likely to reproduce as men were, and it's what often happens in the modern sexual marketplace where girls can get Chad to have sex with them but not to commit, because he's capable of just moving onto the next one. If you want the worst aspects of millennial "hook up culture" to be inescapable keep advocating for polygamous relationships.

The impact of the decline in marriage/the family has already been felt in poor communities, in America at least, and it's been a total disaster. That happened for the same reason that people are pushing polygamy today, high IQ liberals who were perfectly capable of having safe sex with a few partners before settling down didn't realize that the whole world wasn't like them. A lot of people in less educated communities got married only because of the taboo against premarital sex and the extremely strong taboo against illegitimate births. Marriage has a lot of positive follow on effects that stabilize communities and families that got totally wiped out. In some places births to married parents have all but vanished, which causes a lot of harm to the children. Stability is one of the most important things for childrens wellbeing
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@thett3
I'm not advocating anything. I just question the unsupported claims. As for parenting, I've seen a wide selection of family types and good and bad in all of them. I've known many people who would be bad parents regardless of the nature of the relationship. As for 'hook up culture' being a millennial thing, I'd have to disagree, it was around in my parents youth and my grandparents. As for stability, I agree stability is important, my cousin had a very stable upbringing with her parents who never married as did a number of my friends. My parents divorced when I was a kid and while it was hard on me at the time, I had a happy upbringing with both my parents in my life. So I would say marriage is far from a strong indicator of stability. 
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@amandragon01
.. I based my beliefs off of my views, it's true that other people informed those beliefs, but it wasn't an individual it was a group of people who I spoke with, questioned and trusted for a long time. The last sentence is also immaterial to this discussion, as more than one person can do that. As I said, I learned how the world works from a very present and involved extended family as well as my parents. None of this seems to suggest only one parent is necessary or preferable unless you want to instil particular beliefs in a child.
But what did you base your views off of? Surely you weren't born with views. 
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@YouFound_Lxam
Many sources, I learned from both my parents, my grandparents, friends of the family my aunts and uncles. I learned that people have different perspectives, beliefs and ideas. My father for example was an atheist, while my mother was a deist. My grandmother on my mothers side was a spiritualist while my grandmother from my father's was a christian (as were a couple of my aunts). All of these people were present for my childhood (with work I spent much of my time with my grandparents and aunts for example).
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@thett3
The impact of the decline in marriage/the family has already been felt in poor communities, in America at least, and it's been a total disaster. That happened for the same reason that people are pushing polygamy today, high IQ liberals who were perfectly capable of having safe sex with a few partners before settling down didn't realize that the whole world wasn't like them. A lot of people in less educated communities got married only because of the taboo against premarital sex and the extremely strong taboo against illegitimate births. Marriage has a lot of positive follow on effects that stabilize communities and families that got totally wiped out. In some places births to married parents have all but vanished, which causes a lot of harm to the children. Stability is one of the most important things for childrens wellbeing
It's a bit silly to go blaming this on high IQ liberals, dude. It was always coming. Birth control and the internet and cars and planes and education and greater freedom in general, the whole lot, it all plays into it. Wasn't some dangerous idea, it was a dam burst. And it won't be dammed again. And we'll be fine. What's to be so unhappy about? Church raping kids wasn't much good for children's wellbeing either. That's the Holy All of it. Welcome to humanity. 
badger
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More people would build houses and settle down and raise families if they had the money to. It's a luxurious idea these days, that's the problem. 
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ENM then is just an attempt to be honest about what we are, but no way it works long-term, pretty much just for all the reasons Sidewalker listed. Also making one woman cum is enough, Jesus Christ. Three's a crowd, it just is. We're stuck with lies. 
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@badger
It's a bit silly to go blaming this on high IQ liberals, dude. It was always coming. Birth control and the internet and cars and planes and education and greater freedom in general, the whole lot, it all plays into it. Wasn't some dangerous idea, it was a dam burst. And it won't be dammed again. And we'll be fine. What's to be so unhappy about? Church raping kids wasn't much good for children's wellbeing either. That's the Holy All of it. Welcome to humanity. 
There are multiple ways to respond to technological changes, though. Technology was the cause of the sexual revolution (birth control most of all) but it's not like I'm saying we need to ban premarital sex or something like that, but stuff like polygamy should be discouraged. Technology has enabled a minority of people with a unique combo of high intellect and high openness to enjoy that sort of lifestyle risk free (similar to fucking around in college then settling down) but those people are very much a minority. It just doesn't mesh with our monkey brains. And two parent families are best for the vast majority of kids.

I grew up and went to school in a super unequal area where there were lots of rich kids and lots of poor kids but few middle class ones. The poor kids (other than recent immigrants) almost all had dysfunctional family situations and it caused them a lot of trauma. A lot more than being poor did, at least as far as I could tell. It certainly didn't help. I remember well how sad it made people when they talked about not having a dad or having to uproot themselves every weekend etc. Without even getting into the abuse that becomes a lot more common when an unrelated male starts living in a household. My dads family lived in a barn/shed for close to a year after their uninsured house burned down, but all three children told me multiple times that the most traumatic experience in their life by far was their parents getting divorced, not the periods where they were poor. Stable families are so important, anything that goes against that = bad in my book
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Educated and wealthy families almost universally raise their kids in stable two parent households. It’s possible that they’re unenlightened and backwards but I think it’s more likely that it’s just a social model that works
badger
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Polygamy is not a thing dude. You're getting spooked at shadows at this point. That last line was very red-haired she-urchin in the gutter though. I feel you.

Any woman I ever fucked was clingy as shit, and that's not a small sample size. 
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@thett3
Educated and wealthy families almost universally raise their kids in stable two parent households. It’s possible that they’re unenlightened and backwards but I think it’s more likely that it’s just a social model that works
And everyone knows that. Literally everyone. But you can be broke and fuck. That's the consolation prize. 
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@badger
I’m not spooked I’m just answering the OP! 

Any woman I ever fucked was clingy as shit, and that's not a small sample size.
you really do have a way with words my friend, I cracked up at this 
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@thett3
He's probably confusing being clingy with wanting to fix him because a lot of women want to mother  men that have problems. Especially if that person has some kind of issue like, an alcohol problem. They probably just wanted to help him be better.
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@thett3
You're the most interesting dude on the website, thett. 
badger
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Ya know, I buy polygamy or swinging for ugly people actually. Nothing to lose, everything to gain kind of idea. But that's a bit mean.  
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@RationalMadman
I mean. If you want to have such a low opinion of yourself and your wife and the girlfriend then do you.
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@amandragon01
Many sources, I learned from both my parents, my grandparents, friends of the family my aunts and uncles. I learned that people have different perspectives, beliefs and ideas. My father for example was an atheist, while my mother was a deist. My grandmother on my mothers side was a spiritualist while my grandmother from my father's was a christian (as were a couple of my aunts). All of these people were present for my childhood (with work I spent much of my time with my grandparents and aunts for example).
You have just proved my point. You grew up with two parents, and that gave you a base for your ideas and beliefs without confusing you. Sure you learned stuff from your grandparents, and aunts, but your base for what you believed came from your parents, because I assume you trusted them the most. What happens when a child is confused on who to trust?
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@YouFound_Lxam
You have just proved my point. You grew up with two parents, and that gave you a base for your ideas and beliefs without confusing you. Sure you learned stuff from your grandparents, and aunts, but your base for what you believed came from your parents, because I assume you trusted them the most. What happens when a child is confused on who to trust?
Not at all. I spent a lot of my formative years questioning the beliefs of my parents and my grandparents and my aunts and uncles. I didn't trust my mum and dad more than my grandparents, I didn't trust them more than my aunts. I questioned all their teachings, I was fortunate that my family taught me to question and were clear in explaining that the beliefs they held were to be questioned. The flaw in your argument is that the child would be confused on who to trust. My point is that just because their are multiple points of view being presented to a child doesn't have to be confusing. Nor does the fact that the people they trust hold different views have to be confusing as long as the people they're putting their trust in are honest in admitting their personal beliefs are just that and not some unquestionable and fundamental truth. Why is having a third person any more complicated than having two people? What if the mother and father have different beliefs? Why should I trust one parent more than another?
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@amandragon01
Not at all. I spent a lot of my formative years questioning the beliefs of my parents and my grandparents and my aunts and uncles. I didn't trust my mum and dad more than my grandparents, I didn't trust them more than my aunts. I questioned all their teachings, I was fortunate that my family taught me to question and were clear in explaining that the beliefs they held were to be questioned. The flaw in your argument is that the child would be confused on who to trust. My point is that just because their are multiple points of view being presented to a child doesn't have to be confusing. 
Not the multiple points of view, but the base in where they ground what they do and believe. The most healthy and best way to do that, is with a mother and a father. Question: Who raised you? Meaning in the end, who had the final say about what you did. Your parents? Your grandparents? Or your aunts? 
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@YouFound_Lxam
Firstly, you never answered my question, what happens when the mother and father have different beliefs or principles? This was certainly the case with my parents. Doesn't this lead to as confused a child? Why does a third person change that? Secondly, I would say that came down to who I was with to my knowledge the issue never came up. I certainly wasn't aware of it as a child. If I was with my grandparents then they had complete authority, with my aunts the same or with my parents. It never became an issue because there was trust in the family. My parents never restricted what any of my family could say or do with me. They never had to, because they knew the family could be trusted with my care. (As I got older I don't think my mother was too happy about her mum's spiritualism, but that was something I was surprised to realise in discussion with my mother as an adult). 
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@badger
Ya know, I buy polygamy or swinging for ugly people actually. Nothing to lose, everything to gain kind of idea. But that's a bit mean.
Yo badger, I think you’ll be joining the far right soon enough.

Too much fat acceptance, women ain’t women any more. Sure, the left produces ho’s, but they are ugly ho’s
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@Public-Choice
What low opinion of me and my wife or gf is involved?