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@Mharman
Granted, but the bagel is moldy and has raisins instead of chocolate chips
Corrupt-A-Wish
Posts
Total:
175
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@Vader
You have to wish for something also
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@PREZ-HILTON
I wish for the Chiefs to win the Super Bowl so that the Eagles fans stfu
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@Mharman
I wish for the Chiefs to win the Super Bowl so that the Eagles fans stfu
The chiefs win the superbowl, which causes all Eagle's fans to become mute. However theentire country mourns what is to become known as the muting of Philadelphia. Soon society becomes scared that retarded Philly slang will become extinct and in honor of the survivors of the great Muting the entire country adopts annoying philly slang and you have to here the word "Jawn" to substitute for every other word in the vocabulary of those around you.
I wish for an apology from everyone who voted against me in the presidential election
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@Wylted
I wish for an apology from everyone who voted against me in the presidential election
I just discovered this forum.
Wish granted. But then the mods suspect you of hacking roughly 20 accounts simultaneously on DART to post a forced apology, so they permaban you and remove your president title.
I wish I was Black.
I have no idea what you guys will do with that wish. Lol
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@Skipper_Sr
Your wish is fulfilled, but through tar and Turkey feathering.
I wish for Tom Brady to stay retired, for his own sake.
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@SirAnonymous
He retires and becomes your sugar daddy and he likes it rough.
I wish I had more money.
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@SirAnonymous
I wish for Tom Brady to stay retired, for his own sake.
Wish granted.
As the wish sinks in and Tom Brady is relaxing, he suddenly has a mid-life crisis. His memories of the good ole days are warped and lead him to assume a sniper position from above in any NBL game he can sneak into. Every chance he gets, he shoots through the footballs so everyone can know what it is like to play the game with a flat ball.
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@RationalMadman
Granted. You get a billion dollars in pennies. They cover the streets of your city, and you are arrested for creating a traffic hazard.
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@Skipper_Sr
I'd pay to see that.
I wish for free shipping for everything I order.
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@RationalMadman
I wish I had more money.
Wish obtained through a booming business of your very own feet pics for all of those lovely people with "feetishes." Supply can hardly keep up with demand
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@SirAnonymous
I wish for free shipping for everything I order.
Wish fulfilled.
You are only allowed to buy things that are through Amazon and are labeled as "Prime."
I wish for a talking parrot
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@Skipper_Sr
Granted, but the parrot can only talk in slurs
I wish to never lose in anything gambling related
I wish to never lose in anything gambling related
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@Vader
I wish to never lose in anything gambling related
Granted, but you never win either. You constantly break even, only to realize you have wasted hours of your time every time you gamble.
I wish for yet another bagel.
12 days later
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@Mharman
Granted. The bagel is made of concrete.
I wish for the power of the sun in the palm of my hand.
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@SirAnonymous
Granted, but it's because the sun is literally in your hand. You can't even comprehend it before you're burned to a crisp.
I wish I could phase through objects, like a superhero power.
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@Mharman
Granted. When you first try phasing, you realize that phasing through objects also means phasing through the ground. You fall through the ground and are trapped inside the earth forever.
I wish that the only words Putin could say were "In these unprecedented times."
24 days later
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@SirAnonymous
I wish that the only words Putin could say were "In these unprecedented times."
Granted, but those words were secretly code for "nuke the U.S."
I wish for this wish to be corrupted. (Note that any corruption of this wish is automatically granting it the way I intended!)
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@Math_Enthusiast
I wish for this wish to be corrupted.
Wish granted. It is just granted because it is corrupted, and the two are not inherently mutually exclusive at all cases.
I wish that I get 2nd place in the upcoming test at school. Not 1st, not 3rd, just 2nd.
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@SirAnonymous
Granted. You get a billion dollars in pennies. They cover the streets of your city, and you are arrested for creating a traffic hazard.
That's the best you can do? I would object to that. No single individual would be arrested for this. Suppose I make a deal with the devil whom I knew IRL and the devil deliberately misinterprets the request to absurd metrics(like we are doing now, deliberately) while not being any citizen, that simply would not be my fault for creating traffic hazard.
I believe a better response to that wish would be, that the requester gets mountains of money, possibly digitally(because at this point, no printer would ever print a billion in US cash in one go, for example, even if that is the amount of transaction induced), simultaneously as the economy enters a hyperinflation possibly related to this huge influx in money supply, resulting in that these money can do literally nothing and because everyone else is poorer, there is nothing they can do for you. In conclusion, I think a better response is to grant one so much money that it crashes the global economy and renders everything meaningless.
7 days later
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@Intelligence_06
I wish that I get 2nd place in the upcoming test at school. Not 1st, not 3rd, just 2nd.
Wish is fulfilled. But then everyone at school will refer to you and your 2nd place title as "1st Loser"
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@Skipper_Sr
Now wish for something else.
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@Intelligence_06
I wish that as I walked around outside barefoot, my feet would magically be clean as I re-enter the house.
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@Skipper_Sr
I wish that as I walked around outside barefoot, my feet would magically be clean as I re-enter the house.
Granted, however, the means we use to do achieve so is by adding a constantly-operating large machine with saws at the door of your house that can dismember you. So although your feet is clean, they are in fact cut from your rest of the body. More than that, the machine operates constantly so you have to be severed again if you want to go outside and touch grass, and back in also. Eventually, you lose walking functions for the long crawl before a wheelchair.
My wish: I wish that I will get a girlfriend (of unspecified identity, preferably human) and she will slap me in the face.
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@Intelligence_06
Creative take on my wish.
My wish: I wish that I will get a girlfriend (of unspecified identity, preferably human) and she will slap me in the face.
Your wish is granted. In these unprecedented times, the number of LGBTQ+ members is increasing. Its influence reaches Will Smith. Mr. Smith "becomes" a woman and only wears the women's line of clothing his son Jayden sported. He leaves Jada for his true lover, a scholarly IRL Intel_06. Will tries to hide his PTSD from Chris Rock's jokes at the Oscar's, but is prone to compulsive slapping fits towards the nearest person. Lucky you
My Wish:
To be the best Tricker in the world.
Tricking - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f65TLu5IRac
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@Skipper_Sr
To be the best Tricker in the world.
Granted, as every other person who can do these tricks is being killed and unpersoned for as tricking like this is outlawed and punishable by death imposed by the governments. Even if you possess such abilities, which you do, you can’t perform it because then you would be dead.
I wish that my accumulation of wealth becomes 1.5 standard deviations above the average human.
I will fight for my Backflip Rights.
#RightToFlip
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@PREZ-HILTON
I wish Trump was in jail
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@Greyparrot
I wish Trump was in jail
Trump goes to jail, but after a long trial he uses as a platform to spread his anti Jewish propaganda. While in jail he writes an autobiography he titles "my struggle" and later on when he is released his followers use the book as a type of Bible. Trump rejoins the patriot party and his party takes over 33% of the seats in the house and senate and later on intimidate the president who at this time is dwayne the rock Johnson into helping to sign a constitutional amendment allowing trump to be dictator. Trump at that points rounds up communists and offers them free classes at what he called education camps. Not all of them make it through their education alive but the country turns into a type of dystopia where liberals cannot poison the minds of children like a free society should allow.
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@PREZ-HILTON
lol