#venting

Can you show me somebody in real life who loves debating that isn't a toxic person in a fair few ways?

I was no exception to this rule. I probably still am not, I'm working on it.

I think debating is a natural interest and hobby of someone who is very prone to habitually disagree and nitpick at things. I was that guy for a fair amount of my life. I changed how readily I showed it IRL but never changed the core personality and it was only recently that I appreciated how much effort I put into arguing when otherwise agreeing and even faking a polite white-lie-support of something could just so much easier handle the scenario.

If we go through life nonstop arguing it gets addictive, not just because we are good at it but because we feel 'real' amongst a buch of 'fakes'. The problem is that this makes us enemies, nobody likes a skilled debater in real life.  Can you imagine Oromagi, Ragnar and Ramshutu or MisterChris or whoever just arguing the crap out of everyone in their workplace that disagreed with them? Nobody would end up liking them... That's the issue with it.

I have spent so much of my life loving to argue and finally now I realise I basically convinced 0 people of anything...  Okay maybe 2 or 3 but come on, that's at the sake of alienating far more.

What good is it to debate? I even do it with etiquette and that just makes more enemies as then I seem fake about it. I've never once seen positive outcome from a real life application of my debating skills, like literally never. It's only helped me when another similar to me tries to take me on in that way and how rare is that? Like... twice a year someone maybe really, really wants a debate on something with me but that's about it. We live in a world that's still ruled by jungle law, we're just primates wearing suits and ties to hide the reality of it. If you piss off the wrong alpha, it doesn't matter how logical you are, you'll get alienated in that place. That's life and it's irrational, unfair and shit but what I have come to realise and truly appreciate is that what's even more shit than that would be a world where we all argued 24/7... nothing would get done.

I'm starting to wonder if I was wrong about everything, like ever taking part in a community like this and ever liking to argue. It's caused me more issues than I'd like to admit, In hindsight I do believe lost a few real long-term friendships predominantly due to this habit and craving of mine to argue and debate.

I've just learned to shut my mouth when I disagree and think hard of the impact of my disagreement before opening it (my mouth) but that doesn't really settle the unrest in me at the stupidity of what's unfurling in the (to me) childlike disagreement between grown adults that should have a higher capacity to reason than what they convey.

Is that what life is like for you other skilled debaters? I really dislike it but I accept it.