Cogent_Cognizer

Hey everyone. I hate to do this but I feel I need to leave the site. Mharman you'll need to find a replacement for me, I'm sorry. 

So, as of late, I've had so many medical issues, so much stress, and everything good that has happened seemed like it got negated due to it leading eventually to a terrible ending. 

I suspect I'm developing schizophrenia from all this(in a prodromal stage right now) First, my grandmother had it. Second, I seem to have a lot of the symptoms. For a while I've been in complete denial about it. Intellect was the only thing I considered myself good in. I had constant ridicule ans bullying in my life that I started to considwe myself inept in everything and the one thing I considered myself good in was intellect/cognition. To consider that I have schizophrenia is the biggest blow to me I've had for a long time. I really still hope it's not It but I have to explore thw possibility since before I seem to have subconsciously omitted some symptoms to doctors in order to get a different diagnosis(that's how much I couldn't accept it). 

Anyways, my life has become a constant daily battle with fighting with my mind on what is real and what is not. Its quite awful. I 

I really can't spend time on this site anymore. I start a quarter at a university soon, and I need to devote all my energies ans focus on dealing with this problem so I can try to keep on a path to my life goals. 

This site(more like some users) also kind of bother me enough to be close to a trigger of psychosis. Its not good for me, and I need to focus on other things. 

I want to remind everyone that mental illness is more complicated than anyone peobablyncan can imagine. Telling someone with depression fir example to "get out of bed" and "you're not even trying to fight it" is overlooking a lot and is insensitive. Mental illness should be treated with care. It's not always the case someone will seem crazy if they have one. They may appear normal but actually have a serious problem. 

With that... Here are some songs from Mike Shinoda(from Linkin Park) that encapsulate what I often have been feeling lately:

I mean, Parker Bros already bastardized The Landlord Game, meant to introduce Georgism in a board game, criticizing landed property, to being pro-capitalist. Now Hasbro seems to have bastardized Monopoly, which was already a bastardization of The Landlord Game, with their new "Monopoly Socialism". Honestly, I feel sorry for Phillips. I bet her amount of rolling is what's caused those earthquakes a while back.

We can discuss all topics related to Star Trek, The Orville, and any and all space-exploring shows.

So, this is something I've pondered over ever since I was a child and never figured out. I know it seems like a basic question that "normies" probably feel they have the answer to.

But, let me explain something here. I'm someone with a dissociative disorder, sometimes experiencing what is known in psychology as "depersonalization". I suppose everyone might experience it once or a few times in their life, but it's a fairly common experience for me. Perhaps some kind of drug could reproduce the effect, so if anyone has experienced what I'm going to describe, let me know and what your thoughts are on this. 

So, during such occurrences, the best way to describe what is happening is that the "self" disconnects from one's body. You essentially become an outside observer to one's own body. There was a recent groundbreaking study in neuroscience about a year ago looking at patients with various disorders which caused involuntary movement or a feeling of a loss of free will, which seem to have pinpointed a region of the brain responsible for feeling "free will" or like one is in control of their body. [1] [2] One must ask, what does this mean then? These patients still felt a sense of self as do I when I dissociate or seize(been having recent seizures as well where I feel not in control of course). In each case, I still feel alive, that I'm myself, but it's as though the self is an outside observer to my body during this time. 

If one's connection to one's body is controlled by one's brain, then is the self not actually connected to the body otherwise? And if not, why does the self still exist under such a circumstance? Is the entirety of the brain's neurochemistry what makes oneself the self? This can't be the case as those who lose such connections, like those with alzhemier's, still report to be themselves, albeit they lose functionality and connections in the brain.

Let's see what you all think.

I can't help but think absurdism, deconstruction, and subjectivism are inter-connected as philosophies. Deconstruction essentially leads someone to realize everything has a start point, or postulate people just accept to be true despite that in order to prove or disprove the postulate, it requires a paradox. For example, the postulate of "My senses/perception are/is accurate and true" is a postulate in that it is the very first claim someone can make in order to make further claims (i.e the existence of other things). However, to prove or disprove that statement requires those same senses/perception. Thus deconstruction would lead to that postulate if we break down just about any argument that something "is" unless one is claiming "the mind is/exists". At any rate, if deconstruction leads to that, then it would lead to the conclusion of subjectivism in that one can't prove things objectively exist(or don't exist for that matter). This can lead to absurdism, as one would come to a realization of the absurdity of living through life, acting as though every certainly exists(we all do after all) even though we can't prove them to from a philosophical standpoint.

Thoughts?