Why is it morally wrong for me to have 2-3 wives, perhaps 2 wives 1 long term GF?

Author: RationalMadman

Posts

Total: 107
RationalMadman
RationalMadman's avatar
Debates: 574
Posts: 19,931
10
11
11
RationalMadman's avatar
RationalMadman
10
11
11
In the 'western cultures' and really most non-Islamic cultures, it's seen as wrong but why?

If they are happy, satisfied and all of that what's the matter? It doesn't matter what you answer, I will make it work out. I admit I haven't exactly yet but trust me things are under way, I will have a wife legitimately (getting one is straightforward with decent EQ towards women developed and honing in the right type for me, in fact it may already have happened, I am not disclosing that and yes she does/would know I am poly and while we 'fall in love' I do/would/did tone down any seeking elsewhere for a few weeks at least) and a girlfriend that to the other 2 of us is a wife but for legal reasons I cannot do that.

I will admit that I don't fancy them fucking and being with other men in that way but I'm not gonna set a 'no male friends' nonsense barrier. Within reason they can even flirt with other guys if that's their nature, what I ask to you is why is this immoral?

You can say 'omg you're taking too many for yourself'. So you'd rather them unfulfilled and in an unhappy marriage just to avoid being single? I just don't get it.

Why is polyamory of a consensual kind, no cheating, all in on it, all regularly communicating and fulfilled looked down upon? 
RationalMadman
RationalMadman's avatar
Debates: 574
Posts: 19,931
10
11
11
RationalMadman's avatar
RationalMadman
10
11
11
-->
@thett3
I know you don't tend to look outside politics forums so I wish you will tell me this.
YouFound_Lxam
YouFound_Lxam's avatar
Debates: 34
Posts: 2,182
3
4
7
YouFound_Lxam's avatar
YouFound_Lxam
3
4
7
-->
@RationalMadman
It is wrong, because the bonding of two people (man and a woman) is shown to be the perfect mix to raise children. 
We want the best for children and the next generation, so we should do what is best for them. 
RationalMadman
RationalMadman's avatar
Debates: 574
Posts: 19,931
10
11
11
RationalMadman's avatar
RationalMadman
10
11
11
-->
@YouFound_Lxam
No it isn't, the entire Islamic world firstly has proven differently and I know of plenty of toxic upbringings with that combination.
YouFound_Lxam
YouFound_Lxam's avatar
Debates: 34
Posts: 2,182
3
4
7
YouFound_Lxam's avatar
YouFound_Lxam
3
4
7
-->
@RationalMadman
No it isn't, the entire Islamic world firstly has proven differently and I know of plenty of toxic upbringings with that combination.
Yes it is. 

Most Americans have raised there children with the one man and one woman way. America is thriving. 

The Islamic world hasn't done that, and there is far more things like corruption, murder, violence, destruction in that area of the world. 
RationalMadman
RationalMadman's avatar
Debates: 574
Posts: 19,931
10
11
11
RationalMadman's avatar
RationalMadman
10
11
11
-->
@YouFound_Lxam
That firstly doesn't explain why the rates of depression, anxiety and all sorts are so high.

It furthermore doesn't mean that is the perfect way. The rates of murder and violence outside of wars are the lowest in Islamic nations actually, check it out for yourself.

I am not sure why that is so relevant to this, I am allowed to seek what I love without it all revolving around my children as long as they are well looked after and raised.

In fact, since you want to not bring in a babysitter or such, if one wife has a really bad period (both that PMS stuff and meaning a period of low mood and anxiety etc) my other wife can become the temporary aunty/mother figure. I will genuinely reproduce with 2, I am thinking 4 offspring. One may be childless if she's cool with it in a 3 woman scenario, that's just talking casually about a serious matter.

All should feel loved and enjoyed on a serious note. It should be fun and fulfilling for all.
PREZ-HILTON
PREZ-HILTON's avatar
Debates: 18
Posts: 2,806
3
4
9
PREZ-HILTON's avatar
PREZ-HILTON
3
4
9
It creates a society of a lot of single young males, which contributes to a lot of violence and political turmoil 
RationalMadman
RationalMadman's avatar
Debates: 574
Posts: 19,931
10
11
11
RationalMadman's avatar
RationalMadman
10
11
11
-->
@PREZ-HILTON
Na that type's gonna stay single anyway or get motivated to go for someone else.

Frankly, I couldn't give a fuck anyway. It is in my DNA and the testosterone that burst in me as I grew to seek this life, idk why but I will make it work. Only hard part is actually making it first work well for several months, quietly (as in second quietly) before telling my other relatives and shit. Gotta keep it on the DL until I'm very sure the second is a keeper, then they can't say shit as I will have already got credibility.

I am also not sure you realise people stay single or in broken relationships by settling, that isn't better. I know plenty of guy that aren't single and are toxic af, women too.
Best.Korea
Best.Korea's avatar
Debates: 363
Posts: 11,075
4
6
10
Best.Korea's avatar
Best.Korea
4
6
10
I dont really care if a person has more than one wife.

I dont plan to ever get married. It doesnt affect me how many wives you have or plan to have.
Polytheist-Witch
Polytheist-Witch's avatar
Debates: 1
Posts: 4,188
3
3
6
Polytheist-Witch's avatar
Polytheist-Witch
3
3
6
First off until industrialization groups raise children. Grandparents often sat with the children while parents  did whatever work was assigned to them. So to say one man one woman and their children is the perfect way to raise kids is absolute fucking bull shit. Even if you are a two spouses raising kids unless one has a certain salary you're using other sources to raise them ( day care, school).

Part of the reason multiple marriages is an issue is because a marriage is viewed as a business partnership in the Law's eyes. Once you start bringing in other parties it can get really messy especially when it comes to property and children's custody issues. Let's say you have two men and a woman. Let's say that one gentleman has a child with the woman and all three are raising that child till the age of 10. Then the non-biological father who is invested in this child and has an attachment to this child separates from the group. He has absolutely no legal right to continue to be involved with that child which to me is a huge problem. What if the woman decided to leave the two men. She in the biological father again have a relationship established with the child as far as biology but what about the poor guy again who raised the kid with them. Then there's the situation of what if the bio mom and dad take off and leave the child with the non-biological parent. This happens a lot more than you would think. 

Then let's start taking into account that you might have a three person relationship where one works in the other two stay home. So when the time comes let's say that they decide to separate the gentleman who's working is obviously obligated to one person in the relationship. But what accessts is the other party entitled to? 

The only problem with polyamory relationships is the law around marriage not being caught up. Most people in polyamorous relationships know these are issues and understand the consequences but it doesn't change the fact that these things affect both adults and children in these situations that is detrimental. Maybe not financially but certainly emotionally. Step parents have been dealing with this for a very long time.

That said if marriage is viewed as a partnership legally then you should be able to be a corporation with more than two entities involved. If this stuff comes up in court let judges handle it they get paid big bucks,  as do lawyers. Eventually presidents would be set and things would work themselves out.
Intelligence_06
Intelligence_06's avatar
Debates: 172
Posts: 3,946
5
8
11
Intelligence_06's avatar
Intelligence_06
5
8
11
Male to female ratio in modern society is and should be approximately 50%-50%. If this is the norm, then the number of single males will skyrocket.
Polytheist-Witch
Polytheist-Witch's avatar
Debates: 1
Posts: 4,188
3
3
6
Polytheist-Witch's avatar
Polytheist-Witch
3
3
6
-->
@Intelligence_06
Polyamorous relationships aren't just one male to several females. A lot of polyamorous relationships have bisexual men in them so it's two men and one woman. 
badger
badger's avatar
Debates: 0
Posts: 2,243
3
3
3
badger's avatar
badger
3
3
3
Anyone who wants more than one woman has never actually dated a woman. Because they are hard work. 
YouFound_Lxam
YouFound_Lxam's avatar
Debates: 34
Posts: 2,182
3
4
7
YouFound_Lxam's avatar
YouFound_Lxam
3
4
7
-->
@RationalMadman
That firstly doesn't explain why the rates of depression, anxiety and all sorts are so high.

It furthermore doesn't mean that is the perfect way. The rates of murder and violence outside of wars are the lowest in Islamic nations actually, check it out for yourself.
It of course isn't the perfect way, but it is the best way.

You have one father figure, and one mother figure. The one father figure is supposed to raise based on his beliefs and principles. As soon as you have more than one father, then there different ways of thinking that is taught to the child. Then the child is confused. Then as soon as you have more than one mother, then the same thing applies. Mothers and fathers teach different things. So if you had more than one of both, then the child would be confused on who to trust, who to believe, and who to base there life principles on. 

Having one mother and one father brings stability to the family and the child's life. 

In fact, since you want to not bring in a babysitter or such, if one wife has a really bad period (both that PMS stuff and meaning a period of low mood and anxiety etc) my other wife can become the temporary aunty/mother figure. I will genuinely reproduce with 2, I am thinking 4 offspring. One may be childless if she's cool with it in a 3 woman scenario, that's just talking casually about a serious matter.
This proves my point even further. Having more than one mother would confuse the child on who to trust. A parent is supposed to be a figure you can trust. What happens when that figure is switching around 24/7. 
Intelligence_06
Intelligence_06's avatar
Debates: 172
Posts: 3,946
5
8
11
Intelligence_06's avatar
Intelligence_06
5
8
11
-->
@Polytheist-Witch
But the topic itself is about one men vs several women. If you think what you are talking about is justified, create your own thread.
Polytheist-Witch
Polytheist-Witch's avatar
Debates: 1
Posts: 4,188
3
3
6
Polytheist-Witch's avatar
Polytheist-Witch
3
3
6
-->
@Intelligence_06
Actually the topic is polyamorous relationship so fuck you. 
Polytheist-Witch
Polytheist-Witch's avatar
Debates: 1
Posts: 4,188
3
3
6
Polytheist-Witch's avatar
Polytheist-Witch
3
3
6
-->
@badger
Imagine what it's like to put up with your drunk ass.
badger
badger's avatar
Debates: 0
Posts: 2,243
3
3
3
badger's avatar
badger
3
3
3
-->
@Polytheist-Witch
I'm hard work too.

Not for being drunken, not sure what kicks you're getting in levelling that against me lately. I imagine men get sick of you pretty quickly. 
RationalMadman
RationalMadman's avatar
Debates: 574
Posts: 19,931
10
11
11
RationalMadman's avatar
RationalMadman
10
11
11
-->
@Intelligence_06
Good. I want the unworthy to perish, it was the way we evolved as a species.

That said, I in no shape or form forced this or said it was all about reproduction.

I also don't give a shit and neither does/will my woman/women. We will be happy together and make what we do work. Of course society matters, yes it does but its approval of us? Keep shit lowkey, you think I run around IRL saying I am RM the great DART madman, nope. Just shut up, live your life and let these fools judge. There are 'monogamous' guys cheating, 'monogamous' women cheating and abusing, neglecting each other and their children. Marriage therapists think 'talking it out' solves total lack of chemistry and bad partnership. I am super skeptical about that but I am all for trying it out.

I think there really are 'soulmates', you know people you just flow so fucking naturally with it's insane? People you can argue with spend time apart and you still want to be intimate, share stuff going on and chat? It's like magnetism and if it's toxic it's actually hard to resist it. What do I owe some loser not getting my women? Nothing. I was a loser not getting any and I put in and am putting in the work to be a true leader, a dominant man that takes responsibility instead of being the shit-stain loser I have been for far too long. You think these douchebags who bang women (and/or men) regularly care? You think the nymphos (that's a politically correct term for what a promiscuous woman is) getting their kicks from many men and women care?

Nobody cares when I'm down, single, lonely, pathetic and wasting away. Nobody I am outcompeting for these women did. Ever. Only my close relatives at most. So who is gonna care when I say fuck it, man tf up, make it in life and happen to have 2 or 3 women? It's not just a game either, I want it truly epic, amazing and fun and them to keep each other company in ways I can't as I'm socially awkward, introverted, autistic and sometimes need alone time for days. I am sure it can work with 2 bisexual women, 3 even.

I can of course let some other man try. I can let women try too (literally, my other women would be partners with the others hopefully to some degree very good if not best friends). I am also not just meaning me, I have researched a lot if there's some kind of psychological drawback, if it really is demeaning and abusive and all the results are positive if there is good communication. In fact, to be sexist, I have found there to be much more positivity with there being 1 man and multiple women than any variant of the opposite where she genuinely loves more than 1.

I don't care about this nonsense 'it's not normal' 'it's not equal' equal???? EQUAL? Yeah, it wasn't and never will be equal. You can't love someone more than almost all other humans without inequality leading to that, trust, chemistry and all. You want equal? You think all men and all women are equally good for each other? Be my guest, let toxic women ruin you for a while and come back to me.

This is not about bitterness, it's about evolving. It's about being so developed, researched and sure of myself and an adventure even for my original lover before the other shows up. You wonder why old couples usually get bitter and toxic, yelling mean remarks at each other? They're bored. Not just of each other it's not that, they are bored, it all stagnated. They built on necessity and conformity, that's the basis of their partnership and that's so toxic and horrible. I want to build a system where one of us can literally die and the parenting of our children is still going to go okay, I really want them to truly fulfil each other, I don't just want a 100% heterosexual woman in the sense of true partnership. I want them to have each other's back, if I get cancer, if anything happens. I need to know they and the family are going to last. I need to be sure of the unit. I am its natural leader, if I have not ensured that to maximal capacity, I am strategically flawed.

You really think her parents and that whole vibe is the same? It isn't. The grandparents will feel overburdened needing to shoulder and replace what you dying or needing to spend time away is leading to. I am talking about a genuine, non-toxic, non-harsh contingency plan in place if one or even 2 (If 3) of us 'go down'. Not some 'omg I need to replace that person now immediately' thing but an immediate 'soldier on' path. People don't think these things through or realise how hard you should work to earn the love you want. You don't just get it you need to fucking earn it. You were not born a high value male and by no means does anything guarantee you won't die childless and having no lover either. Don't find your meaning in life in the partner, instead make your meaning of life to be the beastly male you were born to be.

That's how I see it. That's the one 'red pill' thing I do buy into and has really helped me feel fulfilled in life thinking of things that way. I want to die knowing I tried my best to be the best kind of male human being I could for the offspring and partner(s) I got and maintained. It sounds cringey, pathetic and stupid. I know.

I thought this even before I knew about Andrew Tate who is a poser with 10 women that probably loves 0 of them and doesn't know what loyalty to women even means. I don't mean that. I mean actually trying to get a woman you just can't quite pull away from because of the pure connection and maybe pushing for another and maybe another and making it wonderful for all. If I wanna be alone and game, debate or whatever, even work and have alone time for any reason I want them to easily and happily enjoy each other's company. I don't see how it is toxic, I don't see how it is wrong to want and biologically all the men who probably reproduced most reliably and raised their offspring solidly had this ethos.
RationalMadman
RationalMadman's avatar
Debates: 574
Posts: 19,931
10
11
11
RationalMadman's avatar
RationalMadman
10
11
11
Anyone who wants more than one woman has never actually dated a woman. Because they are hard work. 
I will let you believe that. The second sentence is not wrong.
badger
badger's avatar
Debates: 0
Posts: 2,243
3
3
3
badger's avatar
badger
3
3
3
You are in a monogamous relationship with this website, dude, who you fooling. 
RationalMadman
RationalMadman's avatar
Debates: 574
Posts: 19,931
10
11
11
RationalMadman's avatar
RationalMadman
10
11
11
Nobody is fooled, I am so in love with dart thank you. I love debating though, I really wish a good competitor shows up. You can't really debate people on quora and reddit.
IlDiavolo
IlDiavolo's avatar
Debates: 0
Posts: 1,567
3
2
5
IlDiavolo's avatar
IlDiavolo
3
2
5
My brother, if you have the money just do it, there is just one life. If you live in the states,  get married in different states and you have your problem solved. 
Polytheist-Witch
Polytheist-Witch's avatar
Debates: 1
Posts: 4,188
3
3
6
Polytheist-Witch's avatar
Polytheist-Witch
3
3
6
-->
@badger
Why waste my time with men? If I want to be a maid/cook/whore/ babysitter for free I'll do it for myself and my kids. I pay all my own bills. My husband can do what he likes. I haven't kicked him out and he doesn't leave so he must not have an issue. 
RationalMadman
RationalMadman's avatar
Debates: 574
Posts: 19,931
10
11
11
RationalMadman's avatar
RationalMadman
10
11
11
My brother, if you have the money just do it
to be clear, I like women with jobs but I accept maternity leave as a serious thing. No way do I want a totally dependent housewife, that's not the thing I seek at all, I want us both to be able to walk away from each other and know we are staying consensually and out of genuine love and trust. It's not 'walk away and fight over custody' this is where picking the right woman is essential. It's amicably parting ways. It's extremely important you pick the right women for that because trust me on this there are only 2 types of (especially female) ex:

1. the bitter, vindictive type
2. the forgive but not forget type

You need to make absolutely certain you've got number 2 before doing anything like raising a family with her. How you go about doing that is what separates winners from losers on a whole different level than people think. I'm talking about being elderly and happy together, about it being so smooth along the way instead of bumpy even if you lose love for each other and realise you're just good as friends. That cannot happen if she's wired to be the number 1 type of ex. It's also very important for you, yourself, to battle within you the parts of you that push you to be number 1 type of ex, we all have that in us partly.

Try to move on, for real. Try to learn to unlove without it making you furious and bitter. It's actually not easy, it's a whole training journey.
Polytheist-Witch
Polytheist-Witch's avatar
Debates: 1
Posts: 4,188
3
3
6
Polytheist-Witch's avatar
Polytheist-Witch
3
3
6
I love how only ex women are cunts. Men never hold grudges, treat people like shit or try to fuck an ex over. You wonder why women are starting to hate men. 
SkepticalOne
SkepticalOne's avatar
Debates: 9
Posts: 1,720
3
3
7
SkepticalOne's avatar
SkepticalOne
3
3
7
-->
@RationalMadman
So long as everyone knows what's going on and consents, I see nothing morally wrong with this.
RationalMadman
RationalMadman's avatar
Debates: 574
Posts: 19,931
10
11
11
RationalMadman's avatar
RationalMadman
10
11
11
I love how only ex women are cunts. Men never hold grudges, treat people like shit or try to fuck an ex over. You wonder why women are starting to hate men. 
They aren't starting to hate men, I have come across those who don't hate men even ones who have really been mistreated by men that don't hate men.

I don't date men or know much of male ex's, I presume they have similar typology but I reckon males also have an aspect of pride being hurt that females lack. The reason is that males attach a huge amount of ego to keeping their women satisfied and loyal, I feel like women attach more of a safety and security vibe that if they have that can within reason share their man. I don't really know what other men are like, I don't date them and have only been me my whole life, I didn't take the interest to deeply research what male exes are like etc I know some anecdotes from female friends and such to go by. That's about it.

Try to move on, for real. Try to learn to unlove without it making you furious and bitter. It's actually not easy, it's a whole training journey.
^^^ How can you interpret me saying the above as me denying men have issues as exes?

YouFound_Lxam
YouFound_Lxam's avatar
Debates: 34
Posts: 2,182
3
4
7
YouFound_Lxam's avatar
YouFound_Lxam
3
4
7
-->
@Polytheist-Witch
Why waste my time with men? If I want to be a maid/cook/whore/ babysitter for free I'll do it for myself and my kids. I pay all my own bills. My husband can do what he likes. I haven't kicked him out and he doesn't leave so he must not have an issue. 
Hate to break it to you, but your husband is either a sad sad man, or a cuck.
Polytheist-Witch
Polytheist-Witch's avatar
Debates: 1
Posts: 4,188
3
3
6
Polytheist-Witch's avatar
Polytheist-Witch
3
3
6
-->
@YouFound_Lxam
Over course of 26 years people change or don't. Is what it is. As long as we don't bother each other.