Bad news in Florida

Author: Danielle

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Danielle
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My family in Tampa has evacuated which I think is fine. If they choose to live in fear of wind and rain, that's their prerogative. However I'm outraged that Florida politicians have issued evacuation ORDERS. Police officers are now going door to door in Pinellas County to make sure that people have left the area. This is the gestapo 2.0 and everyone should be terrified. Since when is the government allowed to tell people what to do like this? This is a brand new phenomenon that just started in the year 2020. 

First the police state mandated that everyone stay at home. Now they're demanding that everyone leave! Florida Senator Rick Scott said, "If you're told to evacuate, evacuate now. Not tomorrow. Evacuate right now." Excuse me Mr. Scott but I'm pretty sure Florida values people's freedom so he can kindly shut the fuck up and mind his own business.

The fear mongering by politicians and the media has been a joke.  All week long Hurricane Ian has been dominating the national news - proof the media is just trying to scare as many people as possible even if they're not in any alleged danger. They'll literally say anything for views.

Not to mention stores across Florida have been completely wiped out. There are shortages and price gouging. Profits are soaring. I mean if you can't see this so called "hurricane" is completely made up  to enrich business owners then I don't know what to tell you. 

I heard another Florida politician on the news tell people to keep checking for updates from scientists and government officials. He actually said that! He really believes people are going to follow the instructions of the biggest groups of liars on the planet. 

Scientists can't be trusted and least of all meteorologists. The entire field is bought by the climate change industry looking to profit off the alleged global warming. It's well documented that meteorologists get it wrong a good amount of the time, so why is anyone listening to them? 

This tyranny with forced closures is not only hurting small businesses, but KIDS ARE BEING KEPT OUT OF SCHOOL. We all know that US schools are top notch beacons of education, but my cousin has to have class on Zoom today. This is an absolute travesty.  Is this what Florida voters cast their ballot for in the last election? Kids being kept home?    

All of this follows a playbook as old as time and Ron DeSantis is complicit. Mark my words if the "hurricane" comes he will be going to the feds with his hands out looking for relief money.  Joe Biden who is singlehandedly responsible for inflation better not cozy up to Ron and expect anyone to give Florida a penny for this little sun shower that's being blown way out of proportion. I know that some people in FL might be at risk, but honestly if people are so worried about hurricanes they should learn how to swim, buy a boat or leave the area; not close schools, keep people away from their homes and jobs or add to our national debt. What a disgrace. 
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@Danielle
As someone who slept through hurricane Katrina in New Orleans, I agree.
Shila
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@Danielle
My family in Tampa has evacuated which I think is fine. If they choose to live in fear of wind and rain, that's their prerogative. However I'm outraged that Florida politicians have issued evacuation ORDERS. Police officers are now going door to door in Pinellas County to make sure that people have left the area. This is the gestapo 2.0 and everyone should be terrified. Since when is the government allowed to tell people what to do like this? This is a brand new phenomenon that just started in the year 2020. 

First the police state mandated that everyone stay at home. Now they're demanding that everyone leave! Florida Senator Rick Scott said, "If you're told to evacuate, evacuate now. Not tomorrow. Evacuate right now." Excuse me Mr. Scott but I'm pretty sure Florida values people's freedom so he can kindly shut the fuck up and mind his own business.

The fear mongering by politicians and the media has been a joke.  All week long Hurricane Ian has been dominating the national news - proof the media is just trying to scare as many people as possible even if they're not in any alleged danger. They'll literally say anything for views. 

Not to mention stores across Florida have been completely wiped out. There are shortages and price gouging. Profits are soaring. I mean if you can't see this so called "hurricane" is completely made up  to enrich business owners then I don't know what to tell you. 

I heard another Florida politician on the news tell people to keep checking for updates from scientistsand government officials. He actually said that! He really believes people are going to follow the instructions of the biggest groups of liars on the planet. 

Scientists can't be trusted and least of all meteorologists. The entire field is bought by the climate change industry looking to profit off the alleged global warming. It's well documented that meteorologists get it wrong a good amount of the time, so why is anyone listening to them? 

This tyranny with forced closures is not only hurting small businesses, but KIDS ARE BEING KEPT OUT OF SCHOOL. We all know that US schools are top notch beacons of education, but my cousin has to have class on Zoom today. This is an absolute travesty.  Is this what Florida voters cast their ballot for in the last election? Kids being kept home?    

All of this follows a playbook as old as time and Ron DeSantis is complicit. Mark my words if the "hurricane" comes he will be going to the feds with his hands out looking for relief money.  Joe Biden who is singlehandedly responsible for inflation better not cozy up to Ron and expect anyone to give Florida a penny for this little sun shower that's being blown way out of proportion. I know that some people in FL might be at risk, but honestly if people are so worried about hurricanes they should learn how to swim, buy a boat or leave the area; not close schools, keep people away from their homes and jobs or add to our national debt. What a disgrace.
DeSantis is listening to the experts Hurricane IAN is going to be a lot worse than earlier predicted.
IAN is slow moving a CAT 4 Hurricane close to CAT 5.
DeSantis will need billions to repair Florida after the disaster ends. He needs Biden.
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tf?
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Wow
IwantRooseveltagain
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Um, does anyone else think the OP is nuts?
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@ahiyah
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@Danielle
This is probably the stupidest thing you have ever written.  

I can envision a world where satirizing an analogy between hurricanes and COVID is entertaining.   But you're less funny than Amy Schumer.  Actually, you're less funny even than Samantha Bee. 

Why can't you be a funny dyke like Rosie O'Donnell?  At least she was endearing.  Remember when she was on Queer as Folk and came onto Michael's mom?  Great character.  Plus her stand up is hilarious.


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@bmdrocks21
I don't know what Danielle's abortion stance is.  

But I struggle to envision how it could be more stupid than this.

It's not even that her OP is tone-deaf, snide, arrogant, ignorant, conceited, vapid, incoherent and  unmoored from anything resembling rationality.  I can forgive all of that, if it's funny.

But this isn't even funny.  Which is just pathetic.  I was hoping this could be funny.  Instead I just see what Samantha Bee or some other dyke might shriek when trying to live her best life (i.e., be the most sanctimonious cunt she can possibly be). 
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@IwantRooseveltagain
Um, does anyone else think the OP is nuts?
My my my, you’re especially observant today, Rosie, old chap.

I’m inclined to agree with you on this one

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@IwantRooseveltagain
Yeah, she lost her mind after COVID.  She went from being kind of an entertaining stereotype to being a broken record of what Rachael Maddow might think was funny if she hosted Stephen Colbert's show.

It's just sad.  Partisan hackery can be hilarious, but this falls flat.

Terrible execution.  

Danielle delivers a punch line with as much grace as a hippo can foxtrot. 

Danielle
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 But you're less funny than Amy Schumer.  Actually, you're less funny even than Samantha Bee. 

Does anyone have some ice for this incredibly SICK BURN?!?!!?! 
coal
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That is so pathetic.  Something Amy Schumer or Samantha Bee would say. 
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@IwantRooseveltagain
Um, does anyone else think the OP is nuts?
You think?

Let's apply the whackjob verification test, yep, Greyparrot agrees with her, that proves she's nuts
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Does anyone find it concerning that  I made a thread about liberty > safety, and coal responded to multiple people with multiple posts to [basically] call me a stupid, humorless, tone-deaf, snide, arrogant, ignorant, conceited, vapid, incoherent, sad, pathetic and sanctimonious cunt completely unprovoked because... get this... he thinks I'm trying to be funny and doesn't find me funny?  Guys that's not normal. 

Most adults I know have a little more self-control than that but I guess he's going through it.  He called me Samantha Bee like four times last night and presumably thought it was clever each time, so I'm starting to think there's something wrong.  Something's off. It's not normal to lash out like a hateful psychopath with a stretched out, infected, gaping cavern of an asshole just because you think someone is making an unfunny joke (I wasn't trying to be funny). That's not nice. And very weird behavior might I add. 
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@Danielle
Cognitive dissonance is a bitch.
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@Danielle
I still love you Dani
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@IwantRooseveltagain
Um, does anyone else think the OP is nuts?
It’s satirical (sort of). Just replace ‘hurricane’ with ‘COVID’ and you get exactly what the political right has spouting for the past few years.

I say sort of because satire is normally grossly exaggerated for the comic effect. The OP? Not really.
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@Danielle
Does anyone find it concerning that I made a thread about liberty > safety, and coal responded to multiple people with multiple posts to [basically] call me a stupid, humorless, tone-deaf, snide, arrogant, ignorant, conceited, vapid, incoherent, sad, pathetic and sanctimonious cunt
... I thought maybe he found a thesaurus.
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@Danielle
Coal has always been like that, your buddy one day, the next turns around and spearheads your humiliation. He gets off on it I think.
ahiyah
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@Greyparrot
Meanwhile in Florida...
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@Danielle
but honestly if people are so worried about hurricanes they should learn how to swim, buy a boat or leave the area; not close schools, keep people away from their homes and jobs or add to our national debt. What a disgrace. 
I am fairly sure that your post was satire due to this line in particular and knowing that you go for hardcore satire at times.

I am also not sure how staged your and Coal's rivalry is here, realising this.
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After raging that her family left the area in fear and others were forced to, Danielle proceeds to encourage people to leave the area rather than make people leave the area.

That was the part where it seems definitively satirical to me for sure. Also, her source for meterologists says they are correct the majority of the time and wrong for the right reasons due to the models they use.
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@Danielle
All of this follows a playbook as old as time 

Some lines above:

Since when is the government allowed to tell people what to do like this? This is a brand new phenomenon that just started in the year 2020. 
This is definitely satire.
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@ahiyah
Hurricane IAN did not stop the hate Floridians have for Biden. You would think all that water would cool tempers down.

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@Greyparrot
#I’mWithHer
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@ILikePie5
<:)
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@Danielle
 coal responded to multiple people with multiple posts to [basically] call me a stupid, humorless, tone-deaf, snide, arrogant, ignorant, conceited, vapid, incoherent, sad, pathetic and sanctimonious cunt 
I see no refutation of any of these claims

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@ILikePie5
-> @Greyparrot
#I’mWithHer
You have small hands and an even smaller thumb. Not very convincing.

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@bmdrocks21
I was willing to listen to her stance on why teen mutilation was necessary, but she kinda lost me at the "98 percent of trans love the surgeries, and the other 2 percent just live on"