Jesus Wasn't Dead When They Took Him Down From The Cross

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#1
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Yes even Pilate was amazed at how quick Jesus had “died”.  Mark 15:44
 
And it was awfully convenient that he is said to have “died” just before he was about to have his legs broken.
 
The Apostle John said that the two  crucified alongside Jesus were still alive six hours after they were crucified so “the soldiers therefore came and broke the legs of the first man who had been crucified with Jesus, and then those of the other” to make sure they would die before the Sabbath.      John 19:31-34.
 
 
Could the disciples simply have been wrong or mores the case duped into believing Jesus Was dead?  They had got it wrong on another occasion when they were convinced Paul was dead but wasn’t. Acts 14
 
And there's not a mention of any of them being present at the crucifixion so how would they know either way. 
 
Why then,did Jesus die so quickly on the cross? 
Why did they spear his side if he was dead?
Did Jesus even predict that he would be dead for three days?
 
Christens like to latch onto what is written in Matthew 12:40 as some kind of “sign” or clue not to mention “proof” given to the Elders as to what lay ahead for him.  But they should read that closely, because it mentions nothing about death at all.
 
Jesus – so say the gospels- was offered a drink of vinegar/wine on a sponge when he seemed to complain of thirst.Why he should then suddenly die after sucking on, or even sniffing this sponge and after saying few words, words which are also in contention? The thing about the vinegar soaked sponge is that if anything, it would have had completely the opposite effect on the human body.  It was used on slave galleys as a temporary stimulant to revive flagging rowers, it had the same effect as smelling salts.

 So again it appears just like all of these others gospels, it leaves gaping big holes in the commentary and we are left with yet another half story.

#2
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Aliens. Aliens did it. Only explanation.
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Why then,did Jesus die so quickly on the cross?

He was flogged and beaten mercilessly before he was hung. He also had nails through his hands and feet. I'd say he was likely in worse condition than the others being crucified.

Why did they spear his side if he was dead?

Why not? He was dead.


Did Jesus even predict that he would be dead for three days?

Off the top of my head, him talking about destroying the temple and rebuilding it in 3 days. Also, him referencing the "sign of Jonah", that as Jonah was in the belly of the fish for 3 days so must he be in the earth for 3 days and rise again on the 3rd day. Oh you mentioned that one at least.

Well, if you don't think him being in a tomb for 3 days and coming out of it on the third day doesn't clarify what that means, what else can it mean?

#4
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So after Jesus didn't really die, but appeared to, did he get up and move to Kasmir or something? Open up a hookah bar? Did they have hookahs in kashmir back then?


Aliens. Only explanation.
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@Mopac
Aliens. Aliens did it. Only explanation.
Stop derailing my thread with your rubbish!!

I'd say he was likely in worse condition than the others being crucified.

It is not mentioned if or not the others were scourged , but I think we can safely say they were considering they had take part in a rebellion against Rome, you clown.

Stephen wrote: Why did they spear his side if he was dead?

mopac responded: Why not? He was dead.

Then why? There was no need, he was pronounced dead. Tell me the explanation for the spearing after "death". Were the other two also speared?

Off the top of my head, him talking about destroying the temple and rebuilding it in 3 days.
Nothing to do with what I have asked.

Read the question again you clown; "Did Jesus even predict that he would be dead for three days?"

 Also, him referencing the "sign of Jonah", that as Jonah was in the belly of the fish for 3 days so must he be in the earth for 3 days and rise again on the 3rd day. Oh you mentioned that one at least.

 I did, and especially for clowns like yourself and for a very good reason. I also said : 

"you should read that closely, because it mentions nothing about death at all".

So you have obviously not gone back and read the story of Jonah, like I advised, have you? That is because you have been brought up  to be a self righteous clown who doesn't understand his own scriptures. 

Look >>> "“For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of the great fish, so will the Son of Man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth” <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<    SEE NOTHING THERE AT ALL ABOUT JONAH BEING DEAD, IS THERE?

And  the scriptures make it very clear that Jonah  was alive and praying inside this fish. LOOK>>>>>>From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God.  He said: “In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me..<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<  you see ALIVE!!!  JONAH WAS ALIVE!!!!!!!


So listen carefully,
 Just like Jesus wasn't dead when they took him down and placed him in a PRIVATE tomb owned by yet another of his rich friends, neither was Jonah when he was said to be in the belly of a fish.

Learn your scriptures, you are a let down to your own beliefs. 
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@Stephen
For someone who doesn't hold positions that are taken seriously by scholarship of these texts, you sure do like to call me clown a lot.

I dare you to argue the things you do in front of biblical scholars. Then maybe it will become apparent who is really being a clown.

It's not nice to call people names. 


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I dare you to argue the things you do in front of biblical scholars.
 I have done. For years.


Then maybe it will become apparent who is really being a clown.

Indeed, and it wasn't me.

It's not nice to call people names. 

Yes, Clown is so cutting a remark isn't it. I can only assume this will scar you for life and now your are in dire need of counselling.  But let me tell you.  It is exceptionally rude to attempt to derail a thread with clownish behaviour such as saying "aliens were involved with Jesus' crucifixion and disappearance.

And you again have totally ignored the facts haven't you. You see when Jesus himself gave that "sign" in Matthew's gospel, he was not talking at all about dying now was he, YOU CLOWN!

Look >>> "“For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of the great fish, so will the Son of Man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth” <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<    SEE NOTHING THERE AT ALL ABOUT JONAH BEING DEAD, IS THERE?

And  the scriptures make it very clear that Jonah  was alive and praying inside this fish. LOOK>>>>>>From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God.  He said: “In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me..<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<  you see ALIVE!!!  JONAH WAS ALIVE!!!!!!!

Learn your scriptures, you are a let down to your own beliefs. 
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@Stephen
Do you make balloon animals?

I want a dragon.

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#9
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@Mopac
Do you make balloon animals?

I want a dragon.

No. I make clowns out of people just like you.
#10
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@Stephen
There a verse in the Bible that describes you perfectly... "professing themselves to be wise, they became fools" 
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@Grugore

There a verse in the Bible that describes you perfectly...
maybe , and there is this one:>

"And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith" .1 Corinthians 15:14

This actually translates as -   if  Christ hasn't risen I shall be very angry at all those who said., " I told you so, clowns".


And you have totally ignored the facts haven't you. You see when Jesus himself gave that "sign" in Matthew's gospel, he was not talking at all about dying now was he, YOU CLOWN!

Look >>> "“For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of the great fish, so will the Son of Man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth” <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<    SEE NOTHING THERE AT ALL ABOUT JONAH BEING DEAD, IS THERE?

And  the scriptures make it very clear that Jonah  was alive and praying inside this fish. LOOK>>>>>>From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God.  He said: “In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me..<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<  you see ALIVE!!!  JONAH WAS ALIVE!!!!!!!


 SO, to repeat:

"And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith" .1 Corinthians 15:14
#12
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@Stephen
You are a fool. Sorry, but it's the truth. Countless Biblical scholars disagree with you. Why should anyone listen to you? Where did you get your Divinity degree? Oh. That's right. You don't have one. You are a ignorant, atheist troll. Sucks to be you.
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#13
Stephen
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You are a fool.
Your opinion of me is irrelevant.

Sorry, but it's the truth.
You are entitled to your opinion. It matters not to me.


Countless Biblical scholars disagree with you.
And many do.



Why should anyone listen to you?
It is not compulsory and you are not obligated to. i don't force you and no one has dragged you here kicking and screaming .


You are a ignorant, atheist troll.
No. I am just asking for clowns like you, who have been led by the snout,  to explain my questions concerning these unreliable scriptures.



Sucks to be you.
I am  happy in my own skin. And  I am loved by my friends and family. 


And you have totally ignored the facts haven't you. You see when Jesus himself gave that "sign" in Matthew's gospel, he was not talking at all about dying now was he, YOU CLOWN!

Look >>> "“For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of the great fish, so will the Son of Man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth” <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<    SEE NOTHING THERE AT ALL ABOUT JONAH BEING DEAD, IS THERE?

And  the scriptures make it very clear that Jonah  was alive and praying inside this fish. LOOK>>>>>>From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God.  He said: “In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me..<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<  you see ALIVE!!!  JONAH WAS ALIVE!!!!!!!

#14
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@Stephen
The guards noticed Jesus was dead so there was no need to break his legs, when they speared his side, blood and water poured out, thus confirming his death.
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The guards noticed Jesus was dead so there was no need to break his legs, when they speared his side, blood and water poured out, thus confirming his death.
Read you scripture. He was pronounced dead before he was speared. There was no need to spear him, if indeed they did at all.
 And take note of what Jesus himself said>>
Look >>> "“For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of the great fish, so will the Son of Man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth” <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<    SEE NOTHING THERE AT ALL ABOUT JONAH BEING DEAD, IS THERE?

And  the scriptures make it very clear that Jonah  was alive and praying inside this fish. LOOK>>>>>>From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God.  He said: “In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me..<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<  you see ALIVE!!!  JONAH WAS ALIVE!!!!!!!
 
#16
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@Stephen
Yes, people have been pronounced dead only to found actually alive and coffins sometimes show evidence of people being buried alive and waking up in their coffins , thus, it is prudent to confirm the death of individuals.
 Jesus was referring to the  timespan Jonah spent in the fish, not to the state of his health.
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#17
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@ronjs
Jesus was referring to the  timespan Jonah spent in the fish, not to the state of his health.
If that is true, then there was absolutely no need to even mention Jonah.


Is all Jesus had to say was "  I will be in the tomb for three days". You see Jesus himself doesn't even mention death (or the state of his health) or says that he will be dead in the tomb either does he.

 "so will the Son of Man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth” 
#18
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Why then,did Jesus die so quickly on the cross?
Because He had been tortured for hours before. If you had read the accounts, you wouldn't be ignorant.

Why did they spear his side if he was dead?
To see if He was really dead. See, they didn't know. Too dim to figure that out?

Did Jesus even predict that he would be dead for three days?
Yes. In the OT and NT.

D'oh!!
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@ethang5
Did Jesus even predict that he would be dead for three days?

Yes. In the OT and NT


No he simply said he would be in the earth for three days. Not a single mention of death .



#20
ethang5
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No he simply said he would be in the earth for three days. Not a single mention of death .
Because people live "in the Earth" right?

Because the phrase "in the Earth" was not euphemism for being dead and buried.

Your dimmness is profound.
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@Mopac
Aliens. Only explanation.
ROFL!!

#22
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@ethang5
Jesus made a prediction in the OT? Who woulda thunk it.
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@ethang5
Because people live "in the Earth" right?
Just like they live in fish, bwuahahahahaha.

Your dimmness is profound.
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#24
Stephen
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Because people live "in the Earth" right?

No. People live  .....   ON ...... the earth you nauseating clown.

Because the phrase "in the Earth" was not euphemism for being dead and buried.

That is right!  He was alive when they took him from the cross.  As I have been saying all along, you boring tit!

And neither was Jonah dead "in the  belly of whale" as he was said to be praying to his god. You cannot be dead and praying can you?  You stupid A hole

#25
ethang5
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Lol, you're losing it Jed. Don't get so worked up.

We know you're saying Jesus was not dead. We're saying you are an idiot for thinking so.

The bible contradicts you. And no one claims Jonah was dead, not even the bible. Stop arguing against what no one has claimed. It makes you look like a moron.

OK, now we've heard you. You think Jesus was not dead. We dismiss you as an idiot. The bible is true.

Anything else?




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#26
Stephen
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Lol, you're losing it Jed. Don't get so worked up.

I'm not worked up  at all, my friend. It is the christians here who are becoming unbalanced and "worked up" over the embarrassing verses and questions I am highlighting. 

We know you're saying Jesus was not dead.

 So do I what's you point you sycophantic mess?


And no one claims Jonah was dead, 

I didn't say anyone has. But for some strange reason Christians like yourself seems to think that when Jesus spoke of Jonah being in the whale for three days,  that this somehow had something to do with Jesus being dead inside the tomb for three days. This is not true.  Jesus was not dead. 



The bible contradicts you.

No the bible contradicts itself you absolute clown. here are just a few of the thousands of contradictions  you deny even exist. 


Here beat yourself with your own stick for a change , I am fed up of doing it for you :


According to the Gospel of John, what did Jesus say about bearing his own witness?
  • If I bear witness to myself, my testimony is not true (John 5:3 1)
  • Even if I do bear witness to myself, my testimony is true (John 8:14).


  • Did Judas kiss Jesus?
  • Yes (Matthew 26:48-50)
  • No. Judas could not get close enough to Jesus to kiss him (John 18:3-12)
Did Jesus bear his own cross?
  • Yes (John 19:17)
  • No (Matthew 27:31-32)

Did Jesus say anything secretly?
  • No. I have said nothing secretly (John 18:20)
  • Yes. He did not speak to them without a parable, but privately to his own disciples he explained everything (Mark 4:34). The disciples asked him Why do you speak to them in parables? He said, To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given (Matthew 13: 1 0-11)
Was John the Baptist Elijah who was to come?
  • Yes (Matthew II: 14, 17:10-13)
  • No (John 1:19-21)

Would Jesus inherit Davids throne?
  • Yes. So said the angel (Luke 1:32)
  • No, since he is a descendant of Jehoiakim (see Matthew 1: I 1, I Chronicles 3:16). And Jehoiakim was cursed by God so that none of his descendants can sit upon Davids throne (Jeremiah 36:30).
How did Simon Peter find out that Jesus was the Christ?
  • By a revelation from heaven (Matthew 16:17)
  • His brother Andrew told him (John 1:41).
Did Jesus allow his disciples to keep a staff on their journey?
  • Yes (Mark 6:8)
  • No (Matthew 10:9; Luke 9:3)

How many fighting men were found in Judah?
  • Five hundred thousand (2 Samuel 24:9)
  • Four hundred and seventy thousand (I Chronicles 21:5).
How old was Ahaziah when he began to rule over Jerusalem?
  • Twenty-two (2 Kings 8:26)
  • Forty-two (2 Chronicles 22:2).
 How old was Jehoiachin when he became king of Jerusalem?
  • Eighteen (2 Kings 24:8)
  • Eight (2 Chronicles 36:9).

How many stalls for horses did Solomon have?
  • Forty thousand (I Kings 4:26)
  • Four thousand (2 chronicles 9:25).


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@ethang5
The bible contradicts you.  


No the bible contradicts itself you clown. And they just keep rolling on like that old man river. Here, but  have your breakfast first, won't want you spitting all your cereal all over the children, now would we.


 Who was the father of Joseph, husband of Mary?
Jacob (Matthew 1:16)
Heli (Luke 3:23)

Jesus descended from which son of David?
  • Solomon (Matthew 1:6)
  • Nathan(Luke3:31)
Who was the father of Shealtiel?
  • Jechoniah (Matthew 1:12)
  • Neri (Luke 3:27
Which son of Zerubbabel was an ancestor of Jesus Christ?
  • Abiud (Matthew 1: 13)
  • Rhesa (Luke 3:27) But the seven sons of Zerubbabel are as follows: i.Meshullam, ii. Hananiah, iii. Hashubah, iv. Ohel, v.Berechiah, vi. Hasadiah, viii. Jushabhesed (I Chronicles 3:19, 20). The names Abiud and Rhesa do not fit in anyway.
Who was the father of Uzziah?
  • Joram (Matthew 1:8)
  • Amaziah (2 Chronicles 26:1)
Why is the field called Field of Blood?
  • Because the priests bought it with the blood money (Matthew 27:8)
  • Because of the bloody death of Judas therein (Acts 1:19)
Is the law of Moses useful?
  • Yes. All scripture is... profitable... (2 Timothy 3:16)
  • No. . . . A former commandment is set aside because of its weakness and uselessness... (Hebrews 7:18)

#28
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@Stephen
They stuck a spear in his side. Do you really thing He could have survived that? Would you like to volunteer? We could stick you and see if you can survive for three days, then get up and leave your burial tomb.
#29
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@Stephen
Did you just give away all your topics for the next 5 years lol? not much on surprises eh? 

On a serious note, is it just the Bible you dislike? or are you this way with Theism as a whole? you seem to be getting increasingly hostile, whereas at first you seemed somewhat polite. 
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#30
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is it just the Bible you dislike?
That has nothing to do with the thread. But I find the bible a fascinating read and always have. I hope that answers your question.

 whereas at first you seemed somewhat polite. 
It gets tedious having  to repeat ones stance on the bible every time I have question or an opinion and I will admit frustration sometimes does, but rarely, creeps in. Particularly when I am repeatedly told that any fault lies with me, that   I don't understand the scriptures or I am reading them wrong or have mistranslated them and many other ridiculous reasons for the theist not to have to explain away a biblical ambiguous anomaly. It is not hard to work out that some of the theisit here haven't read much- if any - of the scriptures  that they are so eager to defend.

Take those contradictions above; just a few of hundreds contained in the bible that fawning sycophantic theist deny even exist never mind try to explain.

Take the word Heaven: it is mentioned in the Bible over 550 times yet not a single resident theist here can explain what it is or where it is, yet the bible quite clearly states that it is occupied by some kind of beings of one sort or another and many christians believe a war once took place there and a devil was cast down from it?

 So where is heaven? what is heaven?  are you going to answer?