Corrupt-A-Wish

I wish I was a God

Granted, but a random person chooses what you shapeshift to.

Granted, but you are in a universe where everyone is an atheist, so no one believes that you even exist.

I wish that I had a transporter from Star Trek.

granted, but because transporters don't actually work, your atoms disappear and never come back. therefore you are left floating in the quantum real for the rest of eternity.

WHERE'S MY BAGEL MOM

I WISH I HAD A BAGEL

Granted, but its got a massive sleeping tarantula on top of it!

I wish that Ryhtym of War was out already!

Granted, but it's a blueberry bagel, and it isn't toasted, and you have no condiments

Granted. But the book is ruined because a ship between the two main characters forms, and now there is NSFW artwork all over the reddit

I wish I had all A's in AP Courses

Granted, but you end up being the biggest nerd in school and are now constantly bullied by the senior jocks.

I wish drafterman returned to mafia.

I was about to add the extra part lol

Granted but every time your scum he hunts you down

I wish Coronavirus would end

Granted, but months later a new virus called Captain Tripps is unleashed from a military lab, and kills all but 3% of the world.

I wish Donald Trump to lose the election.

Granted, but your taxes go up because Biden hates the middle class. Also Urban areas fall into riots, covid 19 is delayed, and we go to war with Russia!

Awesome, I'll take it! Fvck russia and the middle class. And urban areas!

Yolo yeet swag

Granted, but now you can only communicate through memes.

Granted, and just granted, nothing else literally nothing else.

I wish I had a million dollars.

Granted, but hyperinflation takes place so the 1 million dollars then will worth about 5.00$ in today's price.

I saw that coming from a mile away. Make a wish!

I wish that Ferrari can actually win a race in F1

Granted, but they only won because they cheated.

I wish I had a dimensional portal.

Granted, but it is a one-way door. You cannot go back regardless of how bad the other side really is.

Granted, but you aren't a powerful god, the god of trash

Make a wish!

I wish I am immune to any diseases in my lifetime

go ahead

Granted, you are cured of all dieases, included death. Yes, you cannot die. You are immortal. You may think this isn't a curse at first, but you soon will bore of this life and long for death. You'll watch countless wives and children die over the years, and you'll be present for earth's major exstintion event, leaving you lonely and desperate for death. Also you can still feel pain and will suffer even if injuries don't result in death.

I wish I was a faster reader.

Granted, but because Quality is a different stat compared to quantity, so although you can read through things fast, you don't read any of them correct. 

I wish I am the richest 1% of the nation 

Granted, you are because of the other 99% of the nation die but burn all their money before they do... Your one dollar really means a lot now ;-)

I wish I could eat whatever I wanted an never gain weight.