My darling Jane, it is about time someone as independent-thinking as yourself realised the truth of Paganism.
All religions that made it to the mainstream were designed to make us tamer, poorer and feel guilty if we were not either of those 2 things.
Do not let them rule you, instead rule them back with the furious energy of Satan, the cunning of Loki and Odin and the balanced calm of Vishnu. Some gems are there among the dirt of religion, those gems will give you clues to the truth of the North Pole kingdom/queendom and many other secrets of our world. I hope to get there before I die (yes death is real and there's no guaranteed afterlife) but if I don't, so be it. There's a real God, a real way to Shamhala/Shambhala (the North Pole kingdom/queendom) and many more secrets of our reality such as the opposite of the North Pole hidden land; Atlantis which is in the Bermuda Triangle and is the place that you DO NOT WANT TO FIND (it consumes you eternally and not in a good way).
Read up on the secrets of our world, read between the lines of religions and see the common theme and storyline. Do not fall for bullshit teachings, they are designed to keep the dumb poor and weak. It's cruel, unfair and isn't supposed to be anything but that.