The reason we are so careful/extreme with influences is that it can plant a seed and grow into something that can hurt others.
You're an interesting cat, David, always appreciate a civil interaction, I can't overstate it.
As to the above, is this really why you think you've been taught that these influences can grow into something that hurts others? You said prior to this that you have some ability to regulate yourself, so you sort of select what or when to ignore these prohibitions. What, do you think, keeps a person like me from hurting others, given that my entire worldview is secular, open to all sorts of outside influences, seeking out new ideas and so on? I don't think I have any special power of self control (far from it, on occasion, I'm afraid). I think I just usually bristle when I hear that some larger organization is prohibiting members from interacting with the wider world, because I think those sorts of rules are there to protect the larger entity, rather than the individual.
I personally believe that man has sought out new inventions and devices. So the idea that God made them is not the case.
So, this is consistent with a 'deus otiosus,' a god that created everything and then kind of retired to watch what happens. I do not believe this is the god you follow, I think you told me that you believe in the omniscient god, a god that knows everything for all time. If this is the case, as we discussed, such a god is incompatible with free will as it's traditionally understood, because he literally cannot be surprised by any outcome. I agree with BOTH of these sentences (obviously for a different reason). If you believe in a god that has a plan for each and every individual on earth, then I'm afraid I don't see how god isn't ultimately responsible for all inventions, from the James Webb Telescope to nuclear warheads. It seems pretty messed up to me, under those circumstances, to consider man (god's most beloved creation, as I understand it) interacting with stuff god made so harmful that you're not supposed to do it. But then, we're talking about the same character who planted the tree that caused all the problems in the first place :).
I know I am a bad person, due to the understanding of knowing what I am capable of and that I need help and a group of others who want the same like me. I would think a good person would have good thoughts all the time and not have to struggle with what runs through my brain sometimes.
This one's troubling for me, but I don't know "what you're capable of" or the things you struggle with mentally. Maybe they're real problems, and I don't want to be glib about them if so. Let me say that in general, this "I know I'm a bad person" mentality is one of the things that led me out of my own faith. I'm not. I doubt you are, either. The fact that you STRUGGLE with what you think is bad, is an indicator that you're good. People who are bad don't struggle with being bad. They just do it. And again, unless you believe in a god with no plan, no vision for the future, anyone we consider 'bad', they're just doing what they were made to do.
Why was that last leap hardest for you? Can you explain?
Big question! I grew up in a traditional Italian American Catholic family, so to realize I didn't believe any of it was upsetting at first personally, then I realized I was going to end up disappointing my family. Worse, I was going to make my mom and dad and grandparents all think they did something wrong with me, that they would lose me and I would go to hell, I mean you can imagine all the ways a person can spiral down paths like that. That's a lot for a person to carry, but as it turned out, all that was only temporary, and they learned I'm still the exact same person they loved and raised, I'm still a good person, I'm not out there raping and pillaging because I don't think there's a punishment for doing so or a reward for NOT doing so. And as I was realizing it, I had to recognize a lot of hard results that would come after, like the idea that I will just eventually no longer exist, which means that I'll never be reunited with those that I loved, those that loved me, and eventually I'll be lost to history like everyone else. That was really difficult to adjust to, but now, I find it the most profoundly inspiring and liberating notion you can imagine. And not because I "just wanna sin!" (which I've seen atheists accused of by Christians, not saying you're accusing me as such). More if you like on the topic, but I don't want to bore you with my own stories.