Two things
1. Maybe we are intentionally letting them see the silos. In the 90's, our digital defense concept was let the Chinese hack us and steal some information that lets them know we have nukes and will use them. Like, no nation is unaware of the existence of nukes and second strike is a thing, so nothing has really changed.
2. US-China war will never be a thing. Mutually assured destruction checks back 11/10 times. The only thing one nation being "stronger" than another nation does is influence trade opportunities and who gets to kill minorities in the global South. If China gets to have a turn intervening all over Africa while the US says they're killing too many civilians, nothing has really changed.