Lunatic Judges the rap battle
R1 RM Notes:
RM starts the rhyme off pretty good. Good beat was chosen, the first 3 lines are clever, follow the same theme, and rhyme well (core, boar, floor). The following 3 lines are okay, but not as good as the first 3. I don't start losing it until the run on sentence "Crying to the website to lend you money, lucky your girlfriend didn't have to change from a slut into a whore, You want me teeth-baring, lax moderation? Let's go fragile Mikky, I'll make you beg to end this war."
The syntax goes on too long, and doesn't sound that great especially with the beat.
The gloating/voting line is good.
"You think you're shit here anymore just because Airmax takes the throne and you're what? The white knight cucked by him, I bet when you post the vote-counts your underwear is soaking,"
This line is out there, runs on, doesn't rhyme, and comes off more ranty.
Broken/Chokin' rhyme is fine, but the chokin' line could have been phrased better, or more cleverly to not require a double read.
The rodent/ strokin' lines again run into syntax issues where they run on and don't flow well with the beat.
The last two lines also have major syntax errors and don't flow well.
Insults: 8/10
Rhyme: 9/10
Syntax/flow: 5/10
R1 Mikal Notes:
The whole first paragraph was extremely clever, disses RM's perfectly and criticizes exactly what I was thinking.
The second paragraph is very clever and well put together as well. No ciriticisms yet.
Third paragraph flows well as well, no issues here.
Fourth paragraph is great, only issue is maybe the "you are a poison to this site its venom like a spider" could have been rephrased more cleverly. "You are toxic to this site, like the venom from a spider" for example.
Fifth paragraph is really good. I particularly like the last two lines and find them very clever accusing him of living his life as a burden instead of enjoying it.
I have no issues with paragraph six, I like that he calls out to castin's comment about not living down the "punching down" comment, keeping the raps content relevant to the current viewership.
Paragraph seventh is an obvious flow change, and it sounded really good in my head, I can hear an eminem style fast pace change. I would say this verse is among my favorites of round 1.
The only syntax issues I find in the whole round 1 rap, are second and fourth lines in the 8th paragraph. They don't sound good to a beat, but the insults are still good.
Insults: 10/10
Rhyme: 9.5/10
Syntax/flow: 9.5/10
R1 Winner: Mikal.
R2 RM notes:
Again awesome beat choice. I don't know that I like the celebration and validation as a rhyme, I guess it technically does rhyme but doesn't sound that good when you rhyme "tion with tion". The insult with naming mike's friends and backing our of it for fear of being banned like satan is not only a poor rhyme, it lacks punching power insult wise, as the chance of you getting banned by proxy of mikal is very little risk. The matrix and taken rhyme would have been better if one wasn't referred to as the actual character in the show and the other as the actor. The rhyme works I guess, but it could have been done more cleverly. Major syntax errors and rhyme doesn't work with the beat here: "So, do I get a little ego boost out of it? Perhaps, but let's go back in a time in a machine, and let this hasten..."
The next four lines have some clever lines but i am finding major syntax errors especially with the parentheses, and the final line. I can see what he was trying to do, and the rhymes mid sentence could work for that if done correctly, but speaking them out loud, especially with the beat, it just doesn't sound good.
The next line again encounters syntax and flow issues, and the insult is again, going after mikals need for validation. Basically repeating an insult. The following line also lacks in the insult department considering it's talking about how ragnar would ban him, which is not mikals MO. The following line is pretty hilariously sayign that mikal needs to suck of the mods, even though that's the opposite of reality, and mikal is actually calling out the mods whereas RM has been reporting things frivously to the mods. The syntax and flow is also poor here. The whole ryhme scheme is depreciating slowly but surely now.
"I never went half as hard on anybody as your lovely Luna and you have done but my tools are less about abusing and getting away with it, I give real quality posts to reply to,"
This line barely makes sense grammatically, has virtually no flow, and no insult impact. The "side's true" line is okay I guess.
The line after that is surpisingly good and flows well. "You forge screenshots of DMs, lie about events, appeal to 'common sense' but when it comes to the real me vs the real you, 1 on 1 it won't matter how many people were beside you,"
"I just be me every second, every low and every high too, I get banned? I get cheered? Couldn't care less, that's real not seeking-admiration, validation or any iteration of being prideful,"
This line starts of good firt the first half and loses flow/syntax after "cheered".
The line after this "The main reason I ran to the mods" does not sound good at all, barely rhymes, and comes off more as a rant than a rythym.
The "gaslighting screenshots" line again falls and there is no rhyme, rythym or syntax, coming off as a rant.
The leaderboard line is okay rythmatically I suppose.
The right shoe/bye boo rhyme is okay, but still runs into synax/rythym issues.
The final rhyme again repeats the same topic of running to the mods thats been mentioned 3 or 4 times, has 0 syntax/flow, and misses the slap that you would want for a conclusatory line.
RM's first rap was objectively way better than this one.
Insults: 5/10
Rhyme: 5/10
Syntax/flow: 3/10
R2 Mikal Notes:
In second paragraph I like the insult, but not nessecarily rhyming pass/and past, but It still kind of works. The girls he harrassed and stalked en masse line was a very good insult and very clever line.
Paragraph 4 was pure slaying.. Everything about it was golden, and slaps insult wise. Absolute fire.
Paragraph 6 was insane as well, the school shooter line slaps hard.
"the thing that girls log into and then they run away in fright
because you send those weird as dms all the fucking night" Slight syntax issues and flow issues, probably could have been phrased better.
Paraghraph 9 is fvcking brutal. omg.
The next two paragraphs are insanely good as well, continue with the story telling and insulting train the previous two went with but capitalizes harder. The girlfriend sex doll link is both hilarious, and packs a crazy hard punch. I am rolling with laughter!
And finally the conlusatory line is absolutely insane, and a fantastic way to close up the rap.
Insults: 11/10
Rhyme: 10/10
Syntax/flow: 9.5/10
R2 Winner: Mikal
