When Utopia Crumbles [S1] [E1]

The boat was tipping as the storm rattled  its interior. Every crash of the wave rocked the floor from left to right while Mike’s mind was trying to keep sharp writing his novel. He seemed to carelessly write down words with each flash of lightning. The boat was rocking faster and faster with each lightning strike and the flow of the pen was moving faster as Mike’s novel was coming to life. But then, there was a sudden pause in his writing. His thoughts wandered off to the woman he met on that crew ship. She had thick black hair and red lipstick. She worked hard during the day, and it made Mike really excited. She’d walked past him in the hallway while she smiled and waved at him. With a bright smirk he’d wave back. That sparked an idea in his head, but then all of the sudden, he heard a loud crash. “Lightning has struck the boat’s interior, Evacuate immediately!” announced the captain. Not knowing what to, Mike rushed to the deck and tried to save as many people as he could, but right as he was about to save himself he sees the women of his dreams. He holds onto his book and tells her to jump, saying he will jump over after her. She jumps along with others. Grabbing the life vests off the boat, he jumps in and they row away from the storm. After hours of rowing, they lie down on the raft and let the wind carry them away. They try searching for any signs of  rescue, but no one was out braving these conditions except for them. Everything faded to black...

Mike woke up on lots of sand that he annoyingly had to dust off his body. He lifted his head and the sun burned into his eyes. Everything was white as he slowly got up, aimless doing it without any vision,  the white turned into blue and he could suddenly see. There’s sand for miles on end and a small tree to the left and greenery about 8 miles in. He spots the same women that he admired on the boat and other people that he had seen on the boat seeing that he was awake they flooded around Mike. “Well shit guys, what are we gonna do.” asked one of the guys.

“I don’t know. We have no way of getting rescue here. What are we gonna make out of this.” replied the women.

“A new society.” answered Mike. He looked into the women's eyes and looked deep. “This is where a new society is born.” That’s when he presses up against her right bosom. That one bosom press, (as Stewie Griffin would call it), changed the island’s fate forever

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The sun rose in sunny Neklandia today. Business was going about as usual on the island. King Mike watched as shipments of oil were being escorted away and being sold to the American market. Neklandia worked in close contact with the business people of America, but never the government directly. Every operation was discrete and sly. However, the country was rich. After the developed of their society rapidly progressed with the population, there have been many positives to happen to this island. For starters, when an islander struck oil, he sold it out to the government and made millions off of his oil plot. That person was a man by the name of Ramshutu.

Ramshutu was all about business and nothing but business. His successful oil company made him millions, selling precious oil to the government in exchange for money and expensive luxuries. He owned the biggest house in Neklandia and drove a Lamborghini Aventador down the recently developed highway. His cool shades were down and he zoomed down the highway.

Ramshutu pulled up to a gas station that he owned and decided to fuel up his nice Lamborghini. A mob of people started to pile up looking at him when one child came up to him and gave a loud shriek that made Ramshutu almost jump out of his seat. “OMG RAMSHUTU, I WANT TO BE LIKE YOU.” said the kid.

“Wow, thanks. I’m so glad are youth is looking at our future and building up our economy.” replied Ramshutu

“Can you sign my basketball?” asked the kid.

“Sure thing little man. What’s your name?” said Ramshutu in a delighted demeanor.

“Speedrace.” stuttered the child

“One day kid, you will be just as great as me.” Ramshutu told the child. Speed stared into the eyes of Ramshutu and motivation flooded the young Speed’s eyes.

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It seemed life was normal on this tiny island. The population was growing at a solid pace and the number of people living under the poverty line seemed to be under 3%. People were living quiet and peaceful lives in the island with their imported cars and mid-sized houses. Life was nice on this tiny island for a while. But for some, it was a harsh and rough reality. 
“Get off of your ass and do ya fuckin chores.” Dr.Franklin’s mom yelled.
“I did them Ma! I did them.” Dr.Franklin cried. The belt was whipping harder and harder on his bare and innocent skin.
“Does it look I came straight from the womb Franklin.” clapped his mother with another strong whip of the belt. “We’re living off of fucking pennies Franklin! I can’t even afford to pay for the heater anymore goddamn it.”
Dr. Franklin’s life was a struggle. His father married a wealthy woman in the Carribean, leaving him and his mother behind on this island where he threw them out. Everyday Franklin would go to school and be harassed and bullied by his peers around him.
 “You illiterate ass.” cried one of the children one day as he was pushed to the ground. He ran away from school and came home that day only to see his mom dead on the floor from a prescription given by the Ramshutu Pharmaceutical Inc. From that day forth, he was out to get him.
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20 years later... 
The uprising was bringing earthquakes along the island. The island was in a riot after a new call for the king to step down was growing in the ghettos of Neklandia. Poverty had skyrocketed to new dimensions and protests were wild, demanding a transition to a democratic-liberal agenda to take place. Ramshutu was holding a press conference tonight. Speedrace was to accompany Ramshutu in his press conference, after his recent hiring into Ramshutu’s oil industry as assistant in legality of layalty. When Speed arrived at the press conference he saw a strange man in a long coat come into the theatre and it caught his eye for some reason. “Why would he wear jeans to this presentation?” thought Speedrace. His instincts wanted to follow, but the policy of lawful searches held him back.
The state of Neklandia was in shambles. Leader of the People Against Corrupt Rioting(PACR) Party, Ramshutu, was the kill target for many Institutionalists. Ramshutu was met by a mix of boos and cheers. Then someone from the audience shouted loudly from the crowd, “This is what you get for killing my mother you fucking asswipe tycoonist.” There was a brief silence, then BANG!! The crowd dispersed and Speed ran to Ramshutu and leaned over his body. Ramshutu had been shot. 
The car ride to the ER felt like an eternity for Speed. Everything felt blurry to him and he seemed to teleport everywhere. He was woken up from this telepathic trance by doctors tapping his shoulder while Speed faded in and out of consciousness. “He’ll be aight.” the doctor claims. A wave of relief swarmed over Speed. “Ok, now Doc, get the hell out, I gotta talk to this man.” replied Ramshutu. 
“Your wish is my command.” the doctor agreed. As he left the room Speed leaned in closer. 
“Speed. I can’t keep doing this shit.” said Ramshutu
“But you are the leader…” said Speedrace

“I got a family to take care of. There’s too much to risk. I gotta hand the reins to a young one with no fear.” said Ramshutu. “You are the new leader of the PACR Party.”

Speedrace remembered the day he first met Ramshutu in the face. The words rang in his head. He was now in charge, and he would find and hunt down the attempted assassin of his greatest friend, and his role model. The time for vengeance was upon Speed. He needed to be the vigilante in this.

Good! I won't have to pore through the interminable conga line of controversy that was the HoF nominations to grasp the plot. I would recommend pruning your work. You seem to repeat some of the same words from sentence to sentence. For example: