D_DERP

Author: Discipulus_Didicit

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Inspired by Alec's ASTAP, Discipulus_Didicit's Economic Reform Plan (shortened to D_DERP) is a plan to drastically improve the economy.

It is pretty simple. Everyone should just quit their current jobs and become corporate executives. Corporate executives make about a half million dollars a year on average so if all adult Americans became CEOs making an average income of $500,000 then the GDP would skyrocket to about $125000000000000 (125 trillion dollars).

This would represent an immediate increase of the GDP of over 500 percent.

This is a flawless plan. Prove me wrong.
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@blamonkey
@Ramshutu
@3RU7AL
@Alec
@dustryder
Discuss.
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@Discipulus_Didicit
Even better, give everyone over the age of 8 a hedge fund to take care of. Any child that fails to reap a profit off their investment must immediately be excommunicated. I see no flaw with this addendum. 

It should be known as BUMP

Blamonkey's Unique Monetary Plan

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@blamonkey
Hmm. I like the pitch. One note though, can we change excommunicated to exiled? Excommunicated seems to imply that they should be allowed to continue living in our glorious society but of course that would be unacceptable.

Also I want to bounce an idea off you... I was thinking I should change D_DERP to DERP for marketing reasons. What do you think?
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everyone should be given a billion dollars a month

Its called Franklin Plan
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@Discipulus_Didicit
Pure genius.
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@Discipulus_Didicit
Here's another idea (Fix-US+), end public education and instead, funnel all the money that we spend on k-12 education into individual "nest-egg" funds for the children.

Let's say, $20,000.00 per year per kid per grade, that looks like about $260,000.00 on your 18th birthday.

The kids will be highly motivated to study investment and business strategy and the parents will have a serious incentive to treat their kids fairly!

Your scathing critique is requested.
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@Discipulus_Didicit
If everyone was a CEO, who would they manage?
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@blamonkey
Even better, give everyone over the age of 8 a hedge fund to take care of.

They are 8 year olds.  They should be in school.
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@Dr.Franklin
How would you pay for a UBI of $1 Billion per month?
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@3RU7AL
Here's another idea (Fix-US+), end public education and instead, funnel all the money that we spend on k-12 education into individual "nest-egg" funds for the children.

Let's say, $20,000.00 per year per kid per grade, that looks like about $260,000.00 on your 18th birthday.
Ending public education won't be enough money for your UBI.
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@Alec
If everyone was a CEO, who would they manage?
Shame you can't see the problems of what you propose. 

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@Alec
By stealing it from other countries, I say we steal all the oil from Libya and sell it to Europe to get them off Russia's oil and use that money for it, would save a lot of problems, Also steal all of Iraq's,Kuwait and Nigeria
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@Alec
If everyone was a CEO, who would they manage?

I gotta say I’m opposed to child labor, like as rule, but there are some kinds of labor that children are just better at. You ever try to fit into a mineshaft? That is a tight squeeze.
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@3RU7AL
Here's another idea (Fix-US+)

Okay I honestly can't tell if this one is a joke. If it is serious then make a new thread and tag me in it, I will definitely put in my two cents.
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@Alec
Here's another idea (Fix-US+), end public education and instead, funnel all the money that we spend on k-12 education into individual "nest-egg" funds for the children.

Let's say, $20,000.00 per year per kid per grade, that looks like about $260,000.00 on your 18th birthday.
Ending public education won't be enough money for your UBI.
This proposal requires NO FUNDING.  It simply reallocates EXISTING MONEY.
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@TheRealNihilist
What do you mean?
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@3RU7AL
This proposal requires NO FUNDING.  It simply reallocates EXISTING MONEY.

$20,000 per kid will cost about $1.2 Trillion and the education system doesn´t spend that amount of money.  What programs would you cut to raise this money?
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@blamonkey
Life timeline of an average American under the BUMP/DERP initiative:

Age 8 - Receive BUMP hedge fund account

Age 12 - BUMP hedge fund audited, least successful 5% of participants (this number may be adjusted up or down as needed) are exiled/excommunicated.

Age 13 - Enter work force

Age 18 - Exit work force and become corporate executives.

I think we just created Utopia.

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@Alec
Your solutions are wrong. I demonstrate how it is wrong yet you still don't understand you are wrong even though a similar critique that you gave here can be levied at you.
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@Alec
This proposal requires NO FUNDING.  It simply reallocates EXISTING MONEY.
$20,000 per kid will cost about $1.2 Trillion and the education system doesn´t spend that amount of money.  What programs would you cut to raise this money?
Just plug in your own numbers.

Total expenditures for public elementary and secondary schools in the United States in 2015–16 amounted to $706 billion, or $13,847 per public school student enrolled in the fall (in constant 2017–18 dollars).1 [LINK]

Let's say, $13,847.00 per child per year per grade.

That's about, $180,011.00 on your 18th birthday.
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@Alec
That's about, $180,011.00 on your 18th birthday.

How motivated do you think kids (and their parents) would be to pass their GED for $180,011.00?
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@Alec
I assume since you had no follow-up questions to post 14 that you have no more issues with DERP initiative. Your formal endorsement is requested.
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@Discipulus_Didicit
I affirm the BUMP-DERP initiative and agree with my fellow colleague D_D that an addendum should be added. Instead of exile for children who fail to manage their hedge fund, they should instead be sentenced to 50 lashes with a herring for every dollar lost. That way, we provide fiscal stimulus to low-income fishing communities around the globe, but particularly in America. 
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@Alec
If everyone was a CEO, who would they manage?
They can be the ceo of an organization that manages stop and shop franchises. There are plenty of stop and shops apparently.

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@Discipulus_Didicit
you should fund this all by taxing swearing, like in Demolition man.
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@Ramshutu
There wouldn't be enough demand to supply tend of millions of stop and shop places.
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@Alec
With the amount of new money flowing into the economy from all the new CEOs there would be massive demand for atop and shops.

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@Ramshutu
There wouldn't be enough people to buy all that food though.
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@Alec
There isn’t just food, there is drink too.