To those who wronged me, I forgive you. To those I wronged, I wish you well and understand your dislike for me.
For those I didn't wrong but you still detest me, I couldn't care less. For those who do not detest me, want you to understand that my quitting of this website is to do with seeking a more private life. One where I don't need to worry about bullies, authorities or any of that. I am becoming a more cowardly person at a first glance but a happier, stronger one in the long run who actually will do things with my life.
I decided to not do the moon landing debate, it may be so good or so bad and controversial, regardless, that I end up famous for it and that's not the kind of heat I want. Believe the Earth is round, that we landed on the moon, that everything is fine or that everything is not. Make your own mind up, I'm not your guardian or guide in this life.
I wish you all the best, seriously, but I will never ever be returning to this website. This time it's real, this time I have truly and utterly decided to do it and not felt pressured into it by anyone other than myself. I love the time I spent debating, I love that I'm quitting it now, the two are not mutually exclusive.
If you feel like I trolled by accepting debates just to quit, that's fine. I am whatever you say I am, to you as an individual at the very least.
I had an addiction to online debating, a real genuine addiction. It made me toxic, adversarial and a real cunt even to the admin and if I am to change into a person who cares for others and doesn't just 'fight against them to prove them wrong' I needed the losses, I needed the Ramshutus, the bsh1's and everyone involved from the Castins to the bench's to show me along the way just how wrong it all was.
I was completely incorrect about my role in the world and in life and I have finally understood it all. I have issues, I am angry, unhappy and never really got over a depression that I thought I'd gotten over years ago. I need to finally seek a different path in life and this is the time to fully pursue it, no more 'on and off' I know for a fact what my life was and was not meant to be now. I really wish you all the best and hope this becomes one of the best online debating sites.
I genuinely am sorry for what a cunt I've been even just yesterday on the website, I keep being passive-aggressive, aggressive and the cycle continues and it makes everything a lose-lose situations for me and the people I interact with over time as even those I grow close to want to distance themselves from me. I may end up seeking professional help but I doubt it, I think that finally fully dedicating myself to going on a path of agreement and healing will help me. This is not me denouncing debating itself as a bad thing but I do think once you get too into it, it can begin to alter you as a person and make you fight against everyone around you when all they wanted to do was help you.
I am not saying that I regret all my rivalries to be clear, I'm saying I should have been empathetic to my enemies and their victims instead of deciding my role was the one to 'prove them wrong' and 'bring them down'. I am a healer and lover, that was my role all along but what I've been doing in life so far is anything but that. I don't think I will ever fully change now, I've finished developing my personality pretty much and my core being antagonistic and avoidant will never truly change into being passive and agreeable but I do think I can channel it far, far better and become the best at whatever it is I do without needing to fight everyone while doing it.
I hope you all genuinely forget about me over time but given my place on the forum leaderboards and how much people talk about me, I'm sure it will take a few months to fully eradicate my relevance to the site as the rap battling 'raaaaaah I'm the best' guy who really clearly wasn't actually meant to be that great of a debater but I hope eventually you all fully forgive, forget and move on with your lives here and IRL never thinking twice about me.
