I doubt anyone would trust my ass with moderation, but since ive been on the other side of it to have a good idea of how it could go down to resolve things pretty well.
1) Immediate shutdown of any flamewars or communication with each other
First thing to do that works really well is just have the warring parties shut down whatever war they are flaming in public, with immediate bannign if they dont oblige. Usually the side that feels they are the victim will oblige, and because those who start it in the first place often play the victim card, they will oblige as well. Once all parties involved have quieted down (usually its two main ones), the mod can sort out behind the scenes who fucked up more and whether or not a ban is in order
2) Deletion of the thread the flamewar went down in
Flamewars in threads have a nasty habit of getting bumped again after an extended period of time by people who either want to just stir some shit up, or by one of the original flamers who are trying to score points for some reason after the flamewar ended. Deleting the thread also eliminates the ability of other users to see the drama that went down, and the less drama the better when a situation has escalated too far.
3) If a ban is in order, give about one hours notice to the parties involved
A straight temp ban from the mod once he makes up his mind can occasionally cause someone in a recent flamewar to lose his shit and try to circumvent a temp ban with an alternate account. Giving them a heads up that you've made a decision and that they have an hour to brace themselves usually pacifies the banned party enough to tie up loose ends in misc conversations they were in, rather then fight the temp ban to the last moment and hold a grudge about it later.
4) Restraining Orders, maybe.
RO's can be pretty useful to use, but due to the small nature of the base on this site, it might be a bit early to ban certain users from talking to each other about ANYTHING just because theyve fought in the past. If two users in an RO are in a thread together but are just talking to other people in the thread, it can still cause a hell of a lot of attention between the two. Just one perceived line referring to something vague could be taken as a dig at the other person in the RO and cause them to think it was just violated and that they have a free opportunity to fire back, leading to another powder keg to explode when it might not have even be put there without the RO in the first place.
RO's do come in handy for members who fight each other repeatedly and show that they just cannot get along with each other. And a violation of a RO can make a setup for another temp ban super easy should another incident happen