Sexual dimorphism in the dating marketplace

Author: Analgesic.Spectre 6 years ago

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Analgesic.Spectre

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Analgesic.Spectre

08.16.2018 01:25PM

In an age of feminist delusions and an omnipresent glut of 'truth', reality about sexual attractiveness has never been cloudier.

Google searches about the nebulous 'women's sexual peak' will spew 30-40 years of age, nebulous due to a seemingly underlying assumption that women are most attractive and sexually active around these ages (the latter perhaps true).

A "study" has found that women are most attractive at 30 years of age, start to show signs of ageing at 41, and stopped looking sexy by age 53. It is interesting to note that the article in which the study is presented has Anne Hathaway, relatively unattractive with short hair (but that's another topic for another time) (https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/9943900/Women-at-their-most-attractive-at-30-men-at-34-survey-says.html).

These claims are about to be crushed.

From a Jezebel article (of all places), data derived from the dating site OkCupid (i.e. the ages of people trying to date each other), found that women, regardless of the man's age, were most attractive between ages 20-24. Whilst men ages 20-30 were willing to give women older than 35 some play (poor souls), this tolerance disappears once a man enters his 30s. This is not some "study" wherein the metrics are vague and non-specified. This isn't some feelopinion. This is raw, empirical data (https://jezebel.com/mens-favorite-ages-are-20-21-22-and-23-a-data-dive-1731660984).

Yet despite the raw, empirical data, the comments section on the Jezebel article is rife with hysterical anger (I'll leave you to guess from which gender and what ages). Some comments that made me chuckle were:

"I know its just sociological and men are conditioned to be that way, but for fucks sake."

"This is depressing."

"Twenty something year olds I AM SO SORRY that old dudes are contacting you. Eew, you have to deal with that. I’m in my mid thirties and NO ONE is contacting me. It’s great spending Saturday nights shampooing my cat."

"Yup mid 30s as well. I find a lot of guys who want sex but zero that want anything more (that’s nothing new as I was divorced with a child by 23 and most men didn’t want to actually date me because “single moms only are looking for money and a dad for their kid”) I finally gave up with the dating sites a few years ago."

"I feel like a lot of guys like chicks in their early 20s because they’re young and stupid."

"Yeah I have a theory about guys who consistently date much younger women. First, I think they’re not very sexually confident and want someone who is inexperienced and won’t be able to judge them. Second, I think they dislike women who are intelligent and opinionated, and want someone who is young and impressionable and will be less likely to have strongly developed personalities. Finally, I think they’re immature and therefore can’t find anyone their own age willing to date them."

I cannot stick my penis in your 'opinionated' personality. I can, however, stick my penis in a tight, youthful vagina, and hence feel great pleasure. You might not personally like the reality of sexual attraction, but reality doesn't care for your cerebral nonsense.

Polytheist-Witch

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Polytheist-Witch

08.16.2018 01:37PM

Sexual attraction is often hardwired for child birth. No kidding most people are the most attractive when young. I am almost 50 and honestly don't give a crap. My husband and I have a great sex life and our desire hasn't waned in the least. If not for having to work around kids we would have sex daily. Once your past birthing kids there are all kinds of reasons to find a person attractive. Sex is not something tied just to reproduction.

Zeichen

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Zeichen

08.16.2018 10:28PM

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@Analgesic.Spectre

You, and the women who made the aforementioned comments, are equally as troubled as one another.

Promiscuity is wrong, regardless of the age of the person or the person(s) who they decide to have sex with. The women who you have referenced should have found a husband, settled, and had children, whilst the men who you have alluded to ought to develop some self-control and place more value on love and commitment, as opposed to exclusively prioritizing sex.

Polytheist-Witch

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Polytheist-Witch

08.16.2018 11:13PM

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@Zeichen

Promiscuity is a choice people can make or not.

Topic's author

Analgesic.Spectre

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Analgesic.Spectre

08.16.2018 11:33PM

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@Zeichen

You, and the women who made the aforementioned comments, are equally as troubled as one another. Promiscuity is wrong, regardless of the age of the person or the person(s) who they decide to have sex with.

I initially gave thought to clarifying the distinction between a hookup website (Tinder) and a dating website (OkCupid), but I thought that distinction was readily apparent. Clearly, for some people, it is not. OkCupid is not a casual sex/ONS website. Taken from the website itself:

"On OkCupid, you're more than just a photo. You have stories to tell, and passions to share, and things to talk about that are more interesting than the weather. Get noticed for who you are, not what you look like. Because you deserve what dating deserves: better."

Whilst sex is an integral part of a relationship, the fact that OkCupid is looking for people to connect via who they are, shows that it is more interested in its customers forging long-term relationships.

https://www.okcupid.com/

Topic's author

Analgesic.Spectre

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Analgesic.Spectre

08.16.2018 11:55PM

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@Polytheist-Witch

Sex is not something tied just to reproduction.

Considering our evolutionary past, this cannot be the case. All sexual pleasure (or any instinctual behaviour) extends from the fact that it encouraged the passing of one's genes. If not, then it wouldn't be reinforced with instincts and/or positive affect.

Zeichen

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Zeichen

08.17.2018 12:04AM

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@Analgesic.Spectre

It may be that the site is intended to enable its members to form long-lasting relationships, but the reality is that they will and do use it to engage in casual sexual relations. Flirting with people in large numbers, which is essentially what occurs on all dating sites, is in itself a form of sexual profligacy.

Topic's author

Analgesic.Spectre

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Analgesic.Spectre

08.17.2018 12:15AM

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@Zeichen

but the reality is that they will and do use it to engage in casual sexual relations

Are you claiming that this willingness to engage in casual sexual relations is the intention of the site's users? Or, are you claiming that this is an unintended consequence of attempting to spark long-term relationships? The latter seems an intuitive conclusion, but the former requires evidence.

Flirting with people in large numbers, which is essentially what occurs on all dating sites, is in itself a form of sexual profligacy.

This is horribly ignorant of how sexual relationships are aroused. Flirting gauges receptiveness to further sexual interaction. One cannot, believe it or not, skip straight to marriage and sex, after saying hello.

triangle.128k

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triangle.128k

08.17.2018 10:29PM

Promiscuity is wrong, regardless of the age of the person or the person(s) who they decide to have sex with. The women who you have referenced should have found a husband, settled, and had children, whilst the men who you have alluded to ought to develop some self-control and place more value on love and commitment, as opposed to exclusively prioritizing sex.

Aren't you Emilrose?

#10

ethang5

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ethang5

08.18.2018 05:17AM

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@Analgesic.Spectre

Anne Hathaway, relatively unattractive.....

Relative to what, cherubim and seraphim?

This article shows what every guy already knows, and what women refuse to see even when told.

But there are things individuals of each gender can do so as to be exceptions.

#11

Zeichen

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Zeichen

08.18.2018 07:48PM

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@Analgesic.Spectre

Are you claiming that this willingness to engage in casual sexual relations is the intention of the site's users?

This is precisely what I am claiming. Note: a willingness to engage in casual sexual relations has traditionally been defined as a willingness to engage in sexual relations that do not occur within a marriage. In other words, any sex that takes place outside of marriage, is thus considered "casual". People who use dating sites, even if these dating sites specialize more in the cultivation of relationships than the pursuit of casual sex, are still generally willing to engage in the latter. This is to the extent that as a group, they, more often than not, believe that casual dating is fundamental to the formation of a relationship. I, as someone with different views on sex and relationships, would naturally disagree.

This is horribly ignorant of how sexual relationships are aroused. Flirting gauges receptiveness to further sexual interaction. One cannot, believe it or not, skip straight to marriage and sex, after saying hello.

You have negated your own argument in solely using the term "sexual relationships". I am arguing that long-term relationships ought not to be exclusively aroused by initial sexual attraction, and that a couple should establish a friendship prior to becoming sexually involved with one another.

#12

Zeichen

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Zeichen

08.18.2018 07:50PM

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@triangle.128k

Aren't you Emilrose?

Yes.

#13

triangle.128k

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triangle.128k

08.18.2018 08:18PM

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@Zeichen

Don't mean to sound offensive, but how did your opinion on promiscuity change after your previous remarks on DDO?

#14

Zeichen

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Zeichen

08.18.2018 08:23PM

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@triangle.128k

I would rather discuss this in private.

Topic's author

#15

Analgesic.Spectre

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Analgesic.Spectre

08.18.2018 09:42PM

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@Zeichen

This is precisely what I am claiming.

As I've already stated, you need evidence for your assertion.

Note: a willingness to engage in casual sexual relations has traditionally been defined as a willingness to engage in sexual relations that do not occur within a marriage.

By your own admission, this is an archaic interpretation of sexual relationships, from eras wherein cultural norms were wildly different. Thus, your conception shouldn't be used in current day proceedings.

You have negated your own argument in solely using the term "sexual relationships". I am arguing that long-term relationships ought not to be exclusively aroused by initial sexual attraction, and that a couple should establish a friendship prior to becoming sexually involved with one another.

Lol you're obviously getting continuously friendzoned. Sex is a vital part of any intergender relationship, regardless of its length. Again, your archaic interpretation of sexual relationships doesn't resonate today.

#16

Zeichen

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Zeichen

08.18.2018 11:38PM

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@Analgesic.Spectre

As I've already stated, you need evidence for your assertion.

Or, you could show us how OkCupid does not attract people who wish to engage in casual sexual relations. Why is it that you believe this site to be an exception?

You are essentially contending the status quo, therefore you ought to support your position with verifiable evidence.

By your own admission, this is an archaic interpretation of sexual relationships, from eras wherein cultural norms were wildly different. Thus, your conception shouldn't be used in current day proceedings.

I did not say that it was "archaic". Rather, I used the word "traditionally", which has slightly different connotations.

Lol you're obviously getting continuously friendzoned.

"Continuously" is the wrong word to use in this context. Something can only be continuous if it is occurring constantly. Thus, you meant to use the word "continually". This is a very common grammatical mistake, but one that you have now been corrected on.

Sex is a vital part of any intergender relationship, regardless of its length. Again, your archaic interpretation of sexual relationships doesn't resonate today.

It may not resonate with you, but it does resonate with me, and many other people. That I am a young woman who holds this particular viewpoint, shows that it does indeed have some relevance in modern society.

Topic's author

#17

Analgesic.Spectre

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Analgesic.Spectre

08.19.2018 02:33AM

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@Zeichen

Until you provide evidence for your assertion, this conversation continues no further.

119 days later

#18

IlDiavolo

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IlDiavolo

12.16.2018 03:59PM

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@Analgesic.Spectre

When I was young my friends and I had memorable sexual encounters with MILFs (single mothers). I mean, women are really hot in average at their thirties. So, there might be an explanation for what the article has shown. Maybe men tend to date young women because they're more fertile and the chances they get pregnant are higher.

I tell you from my experience, women are attractive and experienced (this last is tremendously important when having sex) aged between 30-40.

You've got to check the case of Tinder. I doubt it has similar results.

Il Diavolo

Topic's author

#19

Analgesic.Spectre

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Analgesic.Spectre

12.16.2018 09:46PM

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@IlDiavolo

When I was young my friends and I had memorable sexual encounters with MILFs (single mothers).

This is completely consistent with the data I provided.

I mean, women are really hot in average at their thirties.

Based on the data I provided, you're wrong. I'm not sure why you think your opinion should be taken over a large amount of data.

Maybe men tend to date young women because they're more fertile and the chances they get pregnant are higher. I tell you from my experience, women are attractive and experienced (this last is tremendously important when having sex) aged between 30-40.

And where do you think attraction comes from? HMMMMM. Do you, perhaps, think it comes from breeding potential? You know, since people who are attracted to each other want to have sex together, and sex, without intervention, usually results in children? Could fertility be tied to sexual attraction? Or maybe 112 year old grannies the hottest, due to being "experienced?"

You've got to check the case of Tinder. I doubt it has similar results.

Why would you doubt that? You haven't cited any kind of data, other than your feelings. This is a resoundingly stupid comment. Again, you seem to think your guesses are more important than large quantities of data.

How about YOU check the case of Tinder? You know, since you're the one making the argument. Oh that's right: you don't care about data at all, because you think your factless opinions are more valuable.

Now, provide something worthwhile or get the hell off my thread.

#20

IlDiavolo

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IlDiavolo

12.16.2018 11:25PM

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@Analgesic.Spectre

Based on the data I provided, you're wrong. I'm not sure why you think your opinion should be taken over a large amount of data.

Maybe it's because you're confusiong sexual attractiveness with dating patterns, both are completely different. While the former determines at what age people look atractive, sexually speaking, the last shows at what age people are desirable to date with and eventually get married, I mean that is the raison d'etre of these dating websites, ain't it?

To be honest I just threw some opinions and ideas in the air, but since I see you're a pretentious cock, I will do some effort (I have no much time, sorry) to analyse this thread. You presented two different studies, the first was about a survey that determines the physical atractiveness of people, and the second was about online dating patterns. I would like to know if you understand that simple difference because it's evident your're conflating them,

And where do you think attraction comes from? HMMMMM. Do you, perhaps, think it comes from breeding potential? You know, since people who are attracted to each other want to have sex together, and sex, without intervention, usually results in children? Could fertility be tied to sexual attraction? Or maybe 112 year old grannies the hottest, due to being "experienced?"

Again, you're conflating things, seriously, You're asumming we're just animals that follow our instincts. So wrong. We're complex beings, there are several factors in play when it comes to find a partner for the rest of our lives, I mean to date someone, not just casual sex. Sexually speaking it's true that people are more atractive at their thirties according to the first study you presented, although this is not the unique factor for dating someone. For example, the studies of ONLINE DATING, which is what you presented, says that men increase their desirability as they age and reach their peak at their 50s, which demonstrates this is not about appearances. Or do you think otherwise? I mean, try to put aside your clear misogyny and you will see this is pretty evident.

Why would you doubt that? You haven't cited any kind of data, other than your feelings. This is a resoundingly stupid comment. Again, you seem to think your guesses are more important than large quantities of data.

How about YOU check the case of Tinder? You know, since you're the one making the argument. Oh that's right: you don't care about data at all, because you think your factless opinions are more valuable.

Now, provide something worthwhile or get the hell off my thread.

My last post was aimed to show my opinion and it was not a statement at all. So, why on earth should I present evidence or any sort of data to support my opinion? So you either don't understad the difference or you're trying deliberately to offend me using such a misleading argument.

Finally, I can give my opinions wherever and whenever I want. People call it freespeech if you didn't notice.

Topic's author

#21

Analgesic.Spectre

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Analgesic.Spectre

12.17.2018 11:58AM

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@IlDiavolo

Maybe it's because you're confusiong sexual attractiveness with dating patterns, both are completely different.

Instead of producing a grammatically abhorrent sentence, whose content borders on insanity, have a deep (or in your case: moderately deep) think about what you just wrote. Do you honestly believe that dating patterns, something that involves romantic feelings and sometimes sex, is "completely different" to sexual attractiveness?

To be honest I just threw some opinions and ideas in the air, but since I see you're a pretentious cock, I will do some effort (I have no much time, sorry) to analyse this thread.

Your opinions were dreadful and you deserved to be lampooned for them. If that makes me a "pretentious cock", then I'm a pretentious cock.

Again, you're conflating things, seriously, You're asumming we're just animals that follow our instincts. So wrong. We're complex beings, there are several factors in play when it comes to find a partner for the rest of our lives, I mean to date someone, not just casual sex.

You've got it the wrong way around, buddy, probably because you're a shut-in virgin lol.

People have casual sex to find out of they want to pursue further. If the sex/partner is good, then someone will push for something more long term, even if it's just a regular sex partner. It's not the prettiest or most admirable way to go about mingling with the opposite gender (I personally don't like it), but alas, it's the way things seem to be done nowadays.

If you're not physically attracted to someone, you wouldn't even bother with a one night stand.

Sexually speaking it's true that people are more atractive at their thirties according to the first study you presented, although this is not the unique factor for dating someone. For example, the studies of ONLINE DATING, which is what you presented, says that men increase their desirability as they age and reach their peak at their 50s, which demonstrates this is not about appearances. Or do you think otherwise?

That was the study I was criticising LOL. How bloody stupid can you be? Hahahaha.

I mean, try to put aside your clear misogyny and you will see this is pretty evident.

You do realise that I'm a woman, right? I'd be pretty silly if I virulently hate myself.

My last post was aimed to show my opinion and it was not a statement at all. So, why on earth should I present evidence or any sort of data to support my opinion?

Oh lol I dare ask you to present evidence or any sort of data to support your opinion? How dare I. How dare I expect people to not sperg and type random bs online. You have every right to say that the Jews did 9/11, or that the Earth is triangular, or that Hitler faked the moon landing. You're the Illuminati's (which is actually the CIA(which is actually Chipolte)) biggest threat.

Your knaive views reek of 14-15 year old kiddieness.

I'm done with you. Run along, kid.

#22

IlDiavolo

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IlDiavolo

12.17.2018 02:23PM

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@Analgesic.Spectre

Instead of producing a grammatically abhorrent sentence, whose content borders on insanity, have a deep (or in your case: moderately deep) think about what you just wrote. Do you honestly believe that dating patterns, something that involves romantic feelings and sometimes sex, is "completely different" to sexual attractiveness?

Yes, I totally believe it. You will see later why.

You've got it the wrong way around, buddy, probably because you're a shut-in virgin lol.

People have casual sex to find out of they want to pursue further. If the sex/partner is good, then someone will push for something more long term, even if it's just a regular sex partner. It's not the prettiest or most admirable way to go about mingling with the opposite gender (I personally don't like it), but alas, it's the way things seem to be done nowadays.

If you're not physically attracted to someone, you wouldn't even bother with a one night stand.

By the same token I would say that I can marry a prostitute "in the long term". Cheeses Christ!! Lol. Sexual atractiveness is important in dating, I didn't deny it, but it's not exclusive. I can be attracted to a woman but I will not necesarily date her. As I said, there are other factors in dating patterns that you overlook. That is why sexual atractiveness is different to dating patterns, both need to be approached differently. And that is why both studies you presented are different and need to be interpreted in a different way.

Look, to be honest I don't want to keep going with this conversation. You're insanely obnoxious and toxic. I bet you're alone and sad, can't imagine a poor man aside you, assuming you're a woman as you said. Hope I'm wrong in that, sincerely.

See you never.

435 days later

#23

zedvictor4