The greatest Chinese Warrior

Maybe a decade ago, I started a clash of clans clan. I was good at managing a clan and it began to grow in strength. 

One of the people who joined my clan early was a guy with a bunch of Chinese characters in his name but also at the end, the English letters xxy.  We called him xxy and to this day I regret never taking the time to translate his characters

His village grew fast and he was always online. He donated more troops than anyone in the clan and always followed the clan rules. One rule was never donate goblins.  Another rule was always fill a request before you make a request. If I cam in and there were 3 donation requests up and unfilled I would lose my shit and start kicking people. I want a culture of complete selflessness .

Xxy never talked, but he would share his battles. He was a fucking strategic genius. I just plopped my troops down and each of his were carefully selected, he would have impeccable timing and perfect placement of troops during attack. 

I demanded everyone watch his videos as they were free tutorials on how to be the perfect killing machine. One day I go

"Xxy, why don't you talk, you don’t know English or something?"

He goes

"I don't talk I listen. I kill and I Obey"

I go fuck, you are perfect and immediately promote him to coleader when this happens. He asks my permission to kick players and I tell him.

"Bro you are co leader and you have completely internalized my clan philosophy"

He begins losing his shit when people donate gobs and purging the tribe of losers once a weak. 

He becomes a me. He always called me leader and asked how he could better serve me. I do know that if all Chinese people are like him, we would lose a war to them, no matter how far behind their technology is. 

Anyway long story short, I leave and xxy takes over the tribe. He starts inviting his Chinese friends and it becomes a Chinese tribe. I come back like 3 years later and re join the tribe. He says

"Leader you have returned" and without hesitation makes me leader of the tribe and now I do translate the characters he puts in chat. He told everyone I was now the leader and they would all obey me. I think I fucking cried. Anyway I told him I just returned to see how he was doing. 

This is all online but I think. Man if I showed up in China tomorrow, XXY, probably has an army wai

ting for me to command and if I wanted, me and XXY could fucking take Taiwan with some fishing boats and rifles. 

Now clash of clans has separated the Chinese and American soldiers so I have lost my friend, but he is the greatest Chinese warrior, and I hope the mother fucker never becomes an actual military strategist for China because he was and most likely still is, an unstoppable killing machine. 

I know you played. This is now a COC story thread. 

I have another story about a guy named Jack frost and an unethical strategy I used to take over other tribes and turn them into feeder tribes and then after stealing their talent destroy the tribe. 

A technique that can get you banned now. 

Okay I am going to say it, because somebody has to. If you read the above story I had over 45 Chinese warriors willing to fight and die for me. Among them was the greatest Chinese warrior.

You would have never made the cut with these stone cold killers. They would eat you for breakfast and you know less than 3 Chinese people would fight and die for you, and none of those 3 is the greatest Chinese warrior and at most only 1 is a stone cold killer. 

Also before anyone says that he wouldn't be loyal if he knew how much shit I was talking about China. When I asked him where he was from,  he said Hong Kong and I told him I love Japanese people and called him Japanese for like 3 months until somebody informed me that Hong Kong is in China not Japan, and that person got ripped a new asshole for correcting leader and XXY almost banned him until I calmed him down. 

This is a funny story lol. I still play this game. Just returned to it after retiring it in 2017. My coworkers have a tribe and forced me into it. I am actually enjoying the state of the game right now. I don't have any crazy stories like that, but I used to have a youtube channel and post and th9 strategies back when TH9 was the fun meta. The game has changed so much, its much more balanced and overall way more fun now. Sitting at town hall 11 now, but with not having to pay for troop costs anymore, I am progressing sooo much faster than I was back in the day. I was at town hall 9 for like a year and a half before I maxed it, now I've jumped two town hall levels in two months, not rushing. 

Definitely a better game state then it was when I played last. Even got my girlfriend playing now, and she loves the strategy involved.

I go a little too hard when I play. I tried to go back but was dedicating too much time tonight so decided, I can't do moderation with it and had to cut it out. I also have no interest in running a clan and am always forced to because I try to join 20 clans first and they are all ran in a terrible way

Unlike you I have my father, mother, both grandpas and both grandmas.

Also why are you tagging me on this. I don't even play this video game

Because I thought being Chinese you should know about the greatest Chinese warrior to ever exist

Lmao, this is hilarious. I think you'd make bank living in asian countries. Have you ever thought about teaching english or do any expat-related activity in China? I think you'd be the conan o'brien equivalent among asian circles. Well, to be fair, asian servers are all similar, so it is very likely that you're able to replicate some of your experience here. If China's a hard sell, you could also make a living in Singapore too. How adaptable are you in working under workaholic cultures?

I am fine with it. I honestly hate to relax. I am interested in  learning mandarin or Russian because I want to be a hacker in a professional setting. And would  love to focus on defending from nation state actors in those countries.  I think knowing the language would help me a bit. 

I know I love Chinese people though but do take issue with intelligence. The Chinese people I know have a type of honor which he seems to lack. 

For example when I point out that China has less freedom than the United States. Intelligence will kind of kie about that. However my Chinese friends will either shut their out due to fear of punishment or they will explain to me how it is a good thing, but they won't lie and tell me I am wrong.