Prove your opponent needs to touch grass

I’m sure you know what grass is, Devon. You know, those green, upright, cylindrical, somewhat pointy, feathery, summer green, neatly trimmed, emerald-like color, lush, dewy, viridescent, virescent, hay-like, verdant, prickly, soft, comfortable hair-like matter on every front and back lawn in a temperate environment. 

But most of all…. GREEN AND FEELS NICE.

Of course, everyone normally touches grass and relates to this classic experience. 

Oh wait, no, you don’t. I forgot, you’re a discord mod.

Let’s prove that.

My contender sir has 17 comments, yet hasn’t actually had neither a dub nor a loss, nor a tie. (what?)

My contender sir, including this debate, has 7 ongoing debates. Not only does he not touch grass, he spends way too much time on Debateart.

This feels like him once he looks at this debate https://www.reddit.com/r/Justfuckmyshitup/comments/a8030t/a_new_species_of_neck_beard/.

A classic discord mod. In fact, a discord mod would have almost zero friends, and instances would most likely feature comments asking the user to write in the correct channel only.

Such describes Devon with his 17 comments and 7 debates.

(isn’t debating what discord mods do too?)

Except his profile pic more likely is this

Whatever an amiine wiafu is. (voters, that was intentional and please understand the joke)

In terms of his actual debates, he does rap battles and roasting competitions.

In terms of his profile picture, it appears to be a galaxy.

Clearly his experiences show that he is suffering from the luxurious feeling of touching grassy hills, as proven.

I have one round. Let me also demonstrate the fact that I touch grass on a regular basis.

From my About Me section…

“I play some basketball and cricket”

I played cricket today. Twice. I played cricket yesterday. Guess what you do (touch grass!)

“think pineapple doesn't go on pizza”

I go to Dominos and Papa Johns. Before I get into the car, I have to walk to the car. By walking into the car, I am touching grass as grass is between me and my car as levitation does not exist yet and I can barely jump 2 meters.

“and like spaghetti.”

Same thing. Olive garden has some good spaghetti.

On my profile pic, it is a picture of a nuclear bomb exploding color. That nuclear bomb must have touched the ground to explode. Grass is on the ground. Therefore, some element of the nuclear bomb must have touched grass. In addition, there is green in the picture of exploding color. Therefore, my profile picture also touches grass, something which yours does not do, Devon. 

“Ask me anything lol”

Yes other people can ask me besides the two friends Devon has. As “touching grass” is also associated with having a social life, I do touch grass in this manner. (7 friends > 2 friends)

Also I only do 2 debates at a time, am an active student in high school, and touch grass while going to school.

I already touch grass, therefore, I do not need to touch grass as I already do, and it is not a necessity that I should, anyways. If I already touch grass and have a social life, I do not need to be forced to touch grass and have a social life, therefore refuting Devon’s unseen arguments.

I touch grass. Devon does not touch grass. Since I already touch grass, I do not need to touch grass. I have proven both.

Of course, no hard feelings, anything in this debate stays in this debate. Back to you, my contender sir.