(Joke debate) Spaghetti is better than pizza

Perfcon

Conservallectual openly claims to be a conservative, and openly advocates conservative positions. This means that he is arguing in bad faith because pizza is clearly the more conservative option.

Let me explain, conservatism is about conserving things. Specifically, values and culture.

Fatima Marquez — a Mexican woman — riveting lived experience shows how food and culture are inexplicably intertwined. One fateful day she went to a Los Cuates food truck located in her American campus, but this food was inauthentic — radically changed for a western pallet — when she ate it she tasted no spice, forever traumatized by the greatest form of cultural violence. Progressive Food.

So clearly, food is essential for culture, but why is pasta progressive? Well, at its core, pizza has been around almost as long as humanity has.  Academic Quora poster and almolst professional linguist, Sokrat Bega, explains  “Pizza is simply flatbread, therefore should be as old as humans start making bred and no question much older than pasta which is more sophisticated in the making and for sure is invented in later times, no matter what the twisted history says.”

This is a preformative contradiction, and you should vote down Pro. By claiming to be a conservative, but then taking liberal positions, Pro actually is destroying debate.

Preformative contradictions harms the quality of debate. We end up debating issues such as the resolution, rather than debating the issues that are actually relevant to the instigator's ideology. So vote them down to discourage future abuse.

Preformative contradictions skew the debate in favor of the team running it as there are always things that they can object to, but these issues are usually insignificant. Trying to gain a vote based on their preformative contradictions is abusive. Votes should only be given based on  apriori issues, in round abuse, and occasionally substantive arguments. Vote down pro so that this round does not serve as motivation for the abusive behavior to continue.

When I agreed to this debate by accepting to debate the resolution ‘Spaghetti is better than pizza’ as con with Conservallectual as pro, I entered into a social contract with the affirmation — specifically that we would both debate in good faith with our own ideologies. Vote down pro inorder to uphold social contracts, and by extension society as a whole.

The alt is for Pro to denounce Pasta and in doing so concede the debate.

Pizza can save Ukrainian children (by causing climate change)

It is a well known fact that Russia fights wars in order to distract from problems at home, and to instill patriotism in a dissatisfied public. Currently the war is in Ukraine, where many people and children are dying in horrible conditions, but this war would be entirely avoidable if only Russia was just a stronger country.

This is where the Pizza comes in. The greatest problem in Russia is food insecurity due to the short growing seasons in a cold climate. If Russia were to warm up, they would be able to grow food and sustain agriculture erasing the need for wars of distraction.

Pizza can warm not just Russia, but the entire planet. When we cook pizza we burn hundreds of thousands of tons of wood per year in pizza ovens, creating carbon emissions that warm the planet greatly. If only we were to eat more pizza, we could save Ukraine.

WTF DUDE? Why does my political alignment have anything to do with the food I like? I eat what I eat, there is nothing political about that. Stop putting politics in food.

If the climate gets warmer then the pizza will burn and become black and hard.