Rap Battle

I was really busy, but you’ve made me irate
Nobody comes for me, so my work will have to wait
You’re talking all that stuff, so let me set you straight
I’ll beat you half asleep, I know you can’t relate!

You’re the best rapper here? That’s lacking in truth
I am a veteran, you’re still in your youth!
You haven’t finished a debate, it doesn’t take a sleuth
To see this is like a baby going against Babe Ruth

You can’t tell the truth in fact, all you do is lie
Except when you said I’m very respected, let me teach you why!
I never miss a shot, I always hit the bulls-eye
You think I’ll stumble now? Think again, wise-guy

6 days on this site? Let me start you with a loss
That will teach you not to go against the boss
This won’t be good for you, how can I get this across?
Continue and that red in your eyes won’t be tomato sauce!

In the description you asked me to go with ease
I can simply not try and you’ll still be on your knees!
Why run before you walk? Hold up; just freeze
Before you try to rap start with your a b c’s

Hey, are you blind? My avatar isn’t Flash
It’s just his lightning, but I’m really glad you asked
You’ll be sent sprawling from simply one blast
And you think your eyes will hit me? Nah, I’m just too fast

I thought you’d be a good challenge, but your picture is Shapiro
Less like TheAtheist and more like a one year-old!
Don’t worry, poor guy, I will be your hero
But what is there to save? You can’t revive a zero!

Why don’t you concede? I’ve already won
When this is over, you’ll be lower than Type1
What’s that? You’ve left? Are you already done?
Welp, you know what to do voters, for a minute this was fun


TO VOTERS (Side note)

I did eight stanzas to make up for last round, and notice that the conduct category isn’t actually for conduct, so I’d appreciate it if the forfeit wasn’t counted against me (although, if it is, I’m not gonna be mad lol)

You’re not a veteran, dude, you’re just fucking old
All those debates and you still have only one gold
You can call me blind and compare me to Type1
But the fate of this debate is decided: I’ve won!

Why the hell is Mr. Lightning calling me a zero?
Facts don’t care about your feelings, so sit down bro
You tried to mess with me and now the beast has awoken!
Your style is like Debate.Org: broken!

For a minute this was fun, but then you arrived
I said go easy on me, but now I’m changing my mind
No matter what you utter, you’ll still be behind
Your rap is so bad, Tupac saw it and died!

Stay away from me and concede this debate!
I’m like the Russia of rapping, you’re like tiny Kuwait!
People will forget who you are in two years
While I’m a diamond that’s forever - call me De Beers!

When I read your rap, it was like looking at my clone
You used all my ideas, but you didn’t add your own
You’re cussing like a child, though you said that you were grown
You kiss your mother with that mouth? Please adjust your tone

You tried to rhyme “arrived” and “mind,” what an epic fail
You’re embarrassing, I’m ashamed to be a male
You’re losing eyesight, and quickly getting frail
But please don’t worry, I’ll have this written in Braille

I guess you are like Russia, ‘Cause all you do is cheat
Plus you’re really cold, you can bet I bring the heat!
You think you’re doing good? Does baby need a treat?
I’m rapping out of nowhere and I don’t even need a beat

The voters see me, and all they can say is “wow”
Then they look at you and ask themselves how
The vote is even a question, they say to you “ciao”
So do us all a favor and just end your torture now

They’ll only say “wow” from how shitty you are
Nothing you wrote is good, not even your bars
I’m only tortured when I see those terrible rhymes
Please do us a favor and forfeit a second time!

Come on, your Unrap Battle was better than this!
At least those bars were funny - now you can’t even diss
I’ve had enough of this shit, go pack your stuff and run home
You can tell your dear mommy that you just got owned!

I’m getting bored with you, it’s time to finish this rap
You’ve only got two rounds, so try not to mess up
Post your argument, Speed, cause the Atheist’s done
No matter what you’ll do - I’ve already won.

This is the second time that you only did three blocks

Smart; why waste time with a fourth when you've lost?

You're learning; you can't be me, I'm basically Fort Knox

Would you try to down an airplane with a cannon of socks?

Cause' that's all you have, you're just full of air

I breathe you in all day, then spit you out; I don't care

Stop flitting around, get out of my hair

I've got all the skill, it really isn't fair!

You can't diss and you can't rhyme

I can do both; it might be a crime

I only do this whole thing part-time

You spend a whole day and only end up with grime

You aren't rapping because all you do is talk

You keep stuffing trash into each block

When the voters see me, they just flock

So I guess I'm the king, don't mess with the hawk

You didn't post a rap so you're now a hypocrite

This is the last round, too late to recommit!

I guess you couldn't hand the fire that I spit

But you did something smart: took my advice and quit!

Every time you talk, I stretch and yawn

Why try to beat a bull when you're just a little fawn?

This is like a game of chess, I've just gotta move my pawn

And make it a queen, checkmate, you're gone!

You getting votes? HA, you wish

If you get any, they'll be removed by bsh

You're in my territory flopping around like a fish

Stop trying to be cool; settle for ok-ish