How To Survive A Nuclear War - Step By Step Guide

The nuclear war might happen, so better be ready.

Either the nukes will hit you, or they will miss you.

If they hit you, better be in bunker.

However, if nukes miss your area, you have a whole new problem.

Since the supplies of food will quickly be depleted in your area, what will happen is that millions of hungry people will form gangs to fight over whats left.

And if you have supplies, those gangs will attack you. Actually, they will attack you even if you dont have supplies.

So naturally, you will want to have place where you can hide from others, place that cannot be easily found by others, something like hole in the ground deep in the forest.

You will also want to have supplies of food and water. Choose food that can stay good for years. Also, make sure wild animals cant get to your food.

Now, thats not the only thing you want to rely upon.

You will also want to hunt and forage.

Of course, you will want to be in parts of forest that has lots of chestnut, walnut and hazelnut trees, since these are edible. Acorns are edible too. However, you must cook them.

Make sure you learn to tell difference between these trees and poisonous look alikes.

Cooking means you also need lots of fire starters to last for years. Lighters, matches and similar things.

Whats also edible is part of tree's bark called cambium. Some pine trees have edible cambium.

Bird's eggs can be found at bird's nests. Likewise, some small animals can be found at animal's nests if you can find nests.

If you find squirrel's nest, you can steal her nuts.

There is also wild honey, if you manage to find it. You will have to cover large area in look for food.

Drinking blood from animals will give you some nutrition, but dont drink too much and learn to process it first.

Eating insects is also a good way to survive. However, its really disgusting too.

Finding roots of some plants, like burdock, is good since its edible.

For hunting, I believe gun might not be a good choice, since it makes lots of noise. Well, some dont, but still.

Bow and arrow are good enough. You also need fishing equipment for fishing, assuming there is river, lake, sea... nearby.

You might also want a slingshot. Its good for hunting small birds.

Since food will not be easily available, you probably want to practice one meal per day.

We can all only hope that nuclear war doesnt happen, because if it does happen, I will no longer be able to be a vegetarian.

Don't forget, Duck and Cover, duck and cover, preparedness measure in the USA designed to be a civil defense  response in case of a nuclear attack. The procedure was practiced in the 1950s and ’60s, during the Cold War between the United States and the Soviet Union and their respective allies following  WW2. Once the Soviet Union achieved a nuclear capability, U.S. citizens began to prepare for a possible nuclear attack. Among the domestic preparedness measures undertaken by the United States were the construction of fallout shelters and the implementation of air-raid drills in schools and the workplace.

that's a lot to memorize just on the far out shot of the world getting into a nuke war. of all the things that might be worth memorizing to save ones life, this isn't too high on the list. 

Its also useful if you find yourself in a survival situation or just want to save money.

Well, yeah that too. Although I wouldnt put much faith in that right now. Ducking and large shelters dont work when people run out of food.

I can't believe that someone hasn't set off any of the 100 missing Russian suitcase nuclear bombs yet.

Eh, nuclear war or no nuclear war... 

It most likely wont happen.

But if it did happen, then being ready would be good.

Besides, people usually enjoy fishing and hunting, and they enjoy watching those survival shows.

Compile a list of doomsday prepers. 

Scope out their fortifications. 

Plant cheap things that go bang and also taint their supplies. 

Find weaknesses.  

Likeee , gather tHe names of there family members and stuff. 

 In short. 

Do not prepare for the end.   ( its costly and oh so time consuming.  ) 

Kids don't want that shit.  

Soooooooo. 

A few weekends a year. 

Plann anddddd Practice "takeovers"  on doomsday prepers.

Im talking, " Ruthless takeovers "  

Become like a fucking ummm.   A kid killer.  

You'll  need to ,  Sharpen up on your ( kidnapping ) skills.  

Like Get a better game you know. 

You want to be like. 

An elite no qualm, kidnapping,  kid killer , mother fucker. 

Like, 

Take it.

Just fucking take it. 

IT'S  MINE. 

Void all emotions. 

When you get to the ability / level  of.   

( Being able to snap kittens legs and not even think about it.   ) 

Ya approx half way there.   

 Put out some adds.

Start out softly like. 

●●●●●■■   The " end " is comming.   ■■●●●●●

Then offer.  

▪○▪○▪○▪○▪○    Getting (End Game) Trained .   ▪○▪○▪○▪○▪○ 

And then mention thattttttt . 

for as little as. 

$ 39 .95* a week you can be EGT.   End game trained.  

And that comes with like...  "full qualifications"

 Along with the FREE  t-shirt , two bumper stickers. And a fidget spinner.   

Thats Valued at ( lots ) . 

(  THATS A GOOD DEAL. )  I reckon. 

PM me if yall interested. 

Orrrrrr.  Just send cash.   

Good game. 

Good game. 

  

( you will basically playing  lazer tag. ) 

I forgot whether it’s shampoo or conditioner that acts like a radioactive magnet. I think it’s conditioner that lets radiation seep deep into your hair follicles. Anyway, if there’s nuclear fallout and you want to wash your hair, don’t use conditioner. You’ll look like you’ve had chemo.

Have you played Risk? Defenders get the tie breaker dice. Atheist bring more attackers so you have bodies to throw in front of you, until your target is acquired.

Irrespective of hair care.

Ones location relative to nuclear strikes, will dictate whether one looks chemo or not.

So I'm not sure that stocking up ones survival cupboard with products should be made a priority, or will in fact make any difference to outcomes.

If you want to look good at the end, perhaps a wig would be a better choice.

What would be the point of surviving a nuclear war? I guess if you like suffering, starving  and living in squalor it might be something you would want to do. Ill pass, hope I am at ground zero if there is a nuclear war.  

Well, you can do fishing all day. Thats fun, no? Since most of humanity would die, there would be plenty of fish for you.

I really don't think you understand what the after effects would be in a full scale  nuclear war.

I don’t think none of us here fully know what would happen, but it’s fun to speculate. So if you live in the epicentre of a large city, you’re fucked. When it comes to fallout it depends on the type of nuclear weapon, the yield, whether it’s airburst and probably some other factors. 

Well Ill start with what I do know which will kill millions that the bombs didn't. No electricity or potable drinking water for months if not years.

Do you think more people would die from the after effects than the bombings themselves?

I think this is going to be the most popular topic shortly.

In a hole, 

Down wind,

With an Asian cutie,

Convincing her that,

She needs to be massaged with baby oil,

From her own protection,

As do you.

I hope Israelites are reading this.

Everyone in my generation can tell you, all you need to do to survive a nuclear war is get underneath a small wooden desk.