Respect vs. courtesy

Here's a debate I watched recently:

Let's delve into this video. The debate revolves around the topics of respect and courtesy. Douglas Murray emphasizes the importance of societal courtesy, while Sylvana Simons stresses the significance of mutual respect. While you can listen to their arguments, here's my perspective on the matter. Courtesy is bestowed with the intention of fostering an open dialogue, irrespective of one's behavior. On the other hand, respect is earned as a reward for displaying acceptable conduct. Murray's concern stems from the idea that granting respect to everyone may incentivize deceit and hinder genuine, honest communication. Furthermore, he worries that extending respect to all individuals, including those who engage in negative actions, could empower certain individuals to silence others who they find offensive. This outcome contradicts the essence of being courteous.

What do you guys think?

What about the op? Or are ad-homs living  rent free in your head again?

You should probably get that checked out by a Doctor btw. No cap.

Respect is when you choose not to tell the truth because it might hurt someone's feelings. It goes too far sometimes, even into lies.

Respect is earned, not given.

Courtesy is just good manners. Nothing more. 

Semantics.

Respect and courtesy CAN be synonymous, along with a load of of other similar words.

In this RESPECT it's about how we treat others irRESPECTive of how we feel towards them or how we perceive their feelings might be towards us.

See what I did there.

Just cannot rely on words and language to be consistent.

REGARDS

Zed.

that's the point of this discussion.

I'm on the ball then.

My sincerest respectful regards Mr Parrot.

Thank you for your kind and courteous support, respect, appreciation, approbation and acclamation.

Ha I see what you did there.

well said

What he said. ^^^^^

And yet,

I think people are more likely not to be courteous,

When they don't respect someone.

Though in this sense, respect becomes a bit warped in meaning.

A prison guard might not respect a murderer as a human being,

Might ignore courtesy guard is expected to give to a person,

Thinking the murderer 'unworthy,

'Yet,

Have a respect for the murderers strength,

Fear it, and make sure to have other prison guards about, when ignoring said courtesy.

. .

Or respect the murderers craziness, capability to shank them,

That even if they don't respect them as a person,

Respect of their potential to violence,

That they give the prisoner courtesy.

. .

Also are prison guards who would still think a murderer deserves courtesy, even being a murderer,

Thinking that doing less would demean themself, to not show courtesy to another human being,

Respecting their humanity, despite their crimes.

There is no such thing as respect and/or courtesy on the part of correctional staff towards inmates. 🤦‍♂️ But in said setting, inmates must respect the authority (not necessarily the staff) of correctional personnel. Whether or not they choose to be courteous is up to them. 

Again, in a general (normal social) setting - respect is earned not given. Courtesy is a choice primarily premised on circumstances. 

How do you reach the conclusion that there is no such thing as respect and/or courtesy on the part of correctional staff towards inmates?

The word respect is mentioned 14 times in this article,

Courtesy mentioned twice in this one,

But perhaps we are using the words in some slight difference of definition?

Because I’ve not only studied it obtaining my criminology degree (w/prev minor in psych), but I’ve been in one, sat in the control room of one, and talked with the employees of one when I worked for a country sheriff. That’s how. 

Blogs and articles chalked with anecdotes of one or two people isn’t proof/evidence of your position across the board. There will always be naive individuals working in a correctional setting thinking they vA. Make a difference if they coddled the inmates. Doesn’t work that way. In fact, it’s those naive individuals that more often than not either get themselves or others hurt/placed in dangerous situations. 

Where do either of the articles, encourage 'coddling inmates?

The author of the first article, appears to have a long history of working in the system,

As well as having taught classes on corrections.

That 'sounds like more experience than you had.

The author of the second link, 'likewise appears to have worked in the system.

That 'sounds like more experience than you had.

Mentioning respect 4 times.

While your position 'may be true,

I have no convincing evidence to think so.

I worked in a short term inpatient psych ward, while I was in the military,

My 'own experience speaks to me,

That courtesy and respect were valuable tools in patient care.

Many individuals were there against their wishes,

Involuntary psych holds.

To treat other's with respect and courtesy,

I argue is 'not to ignore safety protocols,

But 'is to recognize others as 'people, to 'consider their situation, thoughts.

I wasn't referring to the articles, specifically. 

This is the definition of "respect" that I refer to, which is entirely incompatible with a correctional setting.

This is the definition of "courtesy" that I refer to:

Need I go on?

I don't see anything wrong with your definitions of respect and courtesy.

Your definition of treating one with respect for instance,

. .

Yet,

Your own source states,

This is at odds with your statement in post #5

Your definition of courtesy,

Being interactions between people,

Prison includes 'social interactions, thus social conduct expectations.

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I agree, that inmates are not in prison for spa treatments and backrubs,

But that does not mean they are in prison to be tortured,

An act that would be counterproductive to the smooth running of the prison, the guards own souls, or the inmates rehabilitation.

If one is treated as an animal,

Less than human,

If their lack of autonomy is highlighted and sneered at,

Will they not hate?

Lash out?

Become muleheaded?

People desire respect, humanity, what autonomy they have.

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You 'do have experiences, I understand that,

But people can have different perceptions of a situation.

Or the same,

I 'agree that inmates can harm or kill guards,

And that there is no reason to avoid protocol or lower one's guard.

But this is not to say they cannot be treated with respect, courtesy.

Correctional personnel not respecting or demonstrating courtesy towards inmates =/= being tortured. *facepalm*

They do not deserve respect, courtesy. By being there they clearly disrespected and lacked courtesy for their victims. 

If de-escalation is not followed by a guard,

But instead escalation,

By the guard refusing to give respect, consideration,

By the guard demanding instant obedience,

Demanding the prisoners eyes down,

Treating them like a dog,

Not like a human.

. . .

Violence,

Physical pain,

Tossed in the hole,

Loss of control,

Tears,

Dehumanization.

'Torture, I would say.

If a guard is on a power trip,

Likes messing with prisoners,

Demanding little many examples of them,

Of their position,

Under the power of the guard,

Or the guard sneering, mocking, insulting.

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I do not say 'all guards act as above,

But I hold it as a common failing of human nature, and humans in positions of power over other humans.

And I think Humans are worthy of respect, consideration.

Merely for 'being people,

But additionally, for how that respect and consideration can change them for the better.

Whilst a lack of it, can change them for the worse.

Now you're just creating a mountain out of an ant hill, reading into it with absurd fictional scenarios. 

This reality of the correctional officer - inmate dynamics and interactions is beyond your comprehension. Your retorts are more emotive than rational (i.e., logical).

We're done here. Agree to disagree. 

I respect you enough to tell you that I had the courtesy to make your ex gf *** first, I respect her enough to have the courtesy to inform you that I only **** third.

Welcome back!