Find yourself

Author: sadolite

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#1
sadolite
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I hear this term used a lot to make excuses to not commit to or do things. "I need to find myself before I make any long term commitments" 
What does that even mean? How does one know when they have found themselves? What are the criteria to look for to find yourself? Where should you look for yourself?  Do other people find you before you have even found yourself? Once you do find yourself, what then?
#2
Dr.Franklin
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This is usually just an excuse for whores
#3
K_Michael
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I always understood it as the practice of experimenting with different forms of self expression to find out what you value and enjoy doing. Some people are lucky and found their passions as a child, but some (including myself) make it to 18 without really knowing what they want to do with the rest of their lives. More than half of college students change their declared major at least once.
#4
RationalMadman
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You will know once you have truly found who you are inside and fixed your traumas and issues.
#5
zedvictor4
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@RationalMadman
Traumas and issues are largely based upon the endocrine system and innate data signalling where we lack conscious control.

Whereby we attempt to consciously override or ignore, subconscious messaging.

Easier to manage as one ages.
#6
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@zedvictor4
If you say so, I have met plenty of elderly and middle-aged haunted people (by their demons) that tell me differently without actually telling me.
#7
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@RationalMadman
True.

There is always a conflict of interests between body and mind.

And for sure, some people are more predisposed to a problematic mind.

Though I was referring more to the trauma and issues common amongst younger people.

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#8
sadolite
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@RationalMadman
It's been my experience traumas and issues never stop. Life is hard. Someone or something is always waiting to trip  up your long term goals.
#9
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@sadolite
There are traumas and issues, and then there are traumas and issues.

There's deeply rooted psychological stuff.

Kids and young adults and all their sexual angst.

And brief moments of disappointment when things don't go according to planned.
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#10
sadolite
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@zedvictor4
I don't think I have ever found myself. I just do what I have to do to not be a burden on society. Life for everyone is what they make of it regardless of their traumas and issues. The world waits for no man.
#11
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@sadolite
Most of you is just an independent coalesced blob of organic matter.

With a quite amazing blob of electro-chemically charged matter inside your head.

Finding yourself is just about how this onboard organic computer processes data.
#12
YouFound_Lxam
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@Dr.Franklin
I was heartbroken by a girl who I had been dating for over a year. She said this almost exact thing to me, but in a different way.

She said that she needed to focus on school, and "find out who she wanted to be." She said that she didn't understand what love meant, even though we had dated for over a year already. 

Just some tips for girls:
If you don't like a guy, or want to break up with him, it is 1000x better to tell it to him strait, rather than try to spare his feelings. If you try to spare the guys feelings, he is going to keep trying to come back. 

If you tell it to him strait, there will be no reason for him to come back. He will get over it quicker.  
#13
K_Michael
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@zedvictor4
Traumas and issues are largely based upon the endocrine system
lol no. Endocrine system controls feedback responses to stress in the moment, i.e., adrenaline, cortisol, etc. These can be associated with trauma, but mostly aren't. Most cases of adrenaline rushes are the result of physical activity like playing a sport with friends, not getting attacked or abused.

and innate data signalling where we lack conscious control.
If by "innate data signaling" you mean the subconscious part of your brain, then yes, to some extent, though recent studies have shown that distracting your conscious mind with cerebral tasks can have positive effects on the development of PTSD
#14
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@K_Michael
1. The endocrine messenger system is a tad more complex than that. Especially in regard to physiological development and associated stresses.

2. Yep, I would largely agree with your second point. Sort of a common sense approach to consciously acquired stress. Overthinking the overthought as it were.
#15
Sidewalker
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@sadolite
It's been my experience traumas and issues never stop. Life is hard. Someone or something is always waiting to trip  up your long term goals.
How do you make God laugh?

Tell Him your plans.
#16
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@RationalMadman
Our true self is changing dynamic. We are not the person we were yesterday, last week, last year or 30 years ago.
#17
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@sadolite
It's been my experience traumas and issues never stop. Life is hard. Someone or something is always waiting to trip  up your long term goals.
Beyond what all other animals functionally do, humans, with their access Meta-space mind/intellect/concepts, are problem solvers.  This was B Fullers conclusion.

MDMA { ectasy } is used successfull for PTSD.  See Netflix do " How to Change Your Mind".  I have thread on it, posted some months back. By Author Michael Poluan{?}

142 days later

#18
FLRW
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@ebuc
MDMA { ectasy } is used successfull for PTSD
I used MDMA when I was in college. You will never have an experience like that in your life, even if you become a billionaire movie star.
And no, I'm not talking about Prez-Hilton.
#19
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@FLRW
I used MDMA when I was in college. You will never have an experience like that in your life, even if you become a billionaire movie star.
And no, I'm not talking about Prez-Hilton.
True of many substances having a distinct dynamically structural and systemic differrence from another. Tho some of the experience can be similar.

Same goes for fermions and bosons various particles, each being distinct from the others.

28 days later

#20
Critical-Tim
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I think it is known that finding oneself is something internal and therefore the internal thing is among your many selves. The most notable to selves are the future oriented self and the present oriented self. I believe the present oriented self is more associated with the body than the mind even though the mind is a part of the body. I don't believe this has anything to do with a supernatural element, But I do believe that perhaps oneself is the self that is more future oriented and less spontaneous and easily stimulated.