Fuck fake friends

Today I decided I am not gonna let myself get stood up by fake friends who talk a big game when you talk to them but literally never show up for you, skip on commitments, promise things and don't follow up on them, act like their schedule is more important than yours and their time is more valuable, etc. Seriously just fuck that. There has to be some sort of equality in a friendship. If one person is acting like their fucking time is so important that the fact you can hang with them for even a brief amount of time, you should be grateful, fuck them. That's a fake friend and you deserve better. Drop them from your life. You will feel much better. Don't let people walk on you. 

/endrant

I realised this literally as a young teenager but I had the fortunate fact of being a loner and bullied, which turned me away from seeking out too many friends. Conversely, I ended up seeing friends turn on each other from the outside, it taught me things that I didn't really need to learn much the hard way (but of course I did, we all get fake friends, even loners who pick carefully). I found that there is more to it than just not making you a genuine part of their schedule, though.

What you're describing does involve actual gaslighting typically, meaning they constantly demean you for wanting to be a priority and a part of their life but the reality is that you described a busy friend who just doesn't handle chaos well, as opposed to a fake friend. The friend you describe is generally pretty OCD with planning things, sticking to the plans etc and finds it hard during busy periods to slot you in.

While this can be extremely frustrating if you're a person who wants to be valued, it isn't so much fakeness necessarily as being busy and strictly organised.

People like this also tend to be that way to their own lovers, not just their friends. They tend to mix well with people who also have a lot in their life outside the relationship to fill time with and spend energy on.

A fake friend is beyond your description, they tend to be more sinister and more on your side of the situation in terms of schedul-demand (constantly forcing the other to adjust their life to them and give-give-give). I am not saying you're being overdemanding, I'm saying that a fake friend tends to be one who does more of the complaining about the other not meeting them enough and attending to their emotional (or even financial and if it's a relationship, sexual) needs enough.

I expect nothing from anyone except those who I pay for a service. I have acquaintances but no "What society defines as friends"  Friends stab you in the back inevitably. They believe in that stupid unconditional shit no matter what they do to fuck you over. An acquaintance is much less likely to do so as they may need a favor one day. I quit the "friend" thing decades ago. There is no expectation of trust or loyalty with acquaintances, they come thru or they don't. When it comes to people, even family, I always have a plan B. You cant disappoint me because I had no expectation from you in the first place. 

Preach brother

Independent bodies,

Independently thinking,

Of themselves,

And then maybe about you, if it suits.

"Friend" is one of those very casual epithets.

I know what I think, so why would I expect others to be any different.

I, just like Sadolite, have acquaintances.

We are talking about friends on DA, aren't we?

I feel like you and I are best friends on DA, what about you?

Yes, I feel that way too. ( Do you think people know that you are my grandson?)

I was going to ask if you wanted me to have sex with your wife, but you ruined that for me. 

I am only telling you this because I care. I have recently went through something that was traumatic for me. Nothing that isn't a normal part of most people's lives unfortunately, but something that deeply affected me. 

I experienced a sort of ego death. I can't explain it, but it has given me enlightenment. Perhaps this is a temporary state. Perhaps not. 

The stoics would say to drop your expectations. Not just of friends but of everything in general. 

If you really want to escape this pain, and live in bliss, I'll take it a step further though. 

Pain, comes from attachment. Drop the attachments. 

I have more advice, but I don't want to overwhelm you. Live in that negative emotion for now, and let it meet it's conclusion, so it can dissipate and not affect your subconscious.

Their are mind wraiths, that feed on negative emotions, keeping them in your subconscious, will keep you possessed. 

While you are exploring the negative emotion and drawing it to it's conclusion, remember you are not that feeling. You are not any thoughts that arise out of that feeling. In fact you are not thoughts at all.

The divine spark, that is you is called "awareness", if you do want to meet the true you, that has been hidden by the demiurge. 

I agree.