Disclaimer: The contents below are completely satirical and nothing below should be taken seriously. Nothing here is forcefully offensive, and if you consider so, you are likely incorrect due to that nothing here is intentionally offensive and harmful in any way. Things presented here may or may not represent my beliefs regardless of that I wrote them. Things may or may not be accurate, mostly the latter.
On The Bullseye 11/01/2020 Edited by: Intelligence_06
You are looking at the main competitor of SirAnonymous' DARTBard, except, things here will always be more realistic, more reliable, and more anonymous than DART Bard.
“No Nut November” Begins, Unemployment Increases!
Edited by: Intelligence_06
The internet movement named “No Nut November” is scheduled tobegin in November 1st, as opposed to other real-world movements which are majorly delayed by the coronavirus. The goal of this abomination they call a movement is to make as little nut as possible. This, however is impossible, as that nuts are a very special type of food, essential to many, and enjoyable for more. The consumption of Peanuts is just over 7 pounds per year per capita, minus those who are not people and are not peanuts.
Seeing how widespread the internet is, the Union of Nut Workers within this country have decided to quit and reclaim the means of production of nut-related products in December 1st, 2020. This is extremely critical as nut-related products are into the essential production of thousands, or even millions of companies within this world. It is being predicted that after November 15th, 50% of the functioning bodies of the economy would no longer function until December 5th, 2022, due to that the lack of nut-related products would stall the production of other companies, causing those companies which supplies other essential companies to be utterly bankrupt. The recovery needed would be long.
It is seen for the very first time that reactions this widespread is upon the society when a single joke about nuts is said in theparty. One teenager named “Deez Nuts” ran for the president(And I hope he would again, seeing how stupid this one is) in 2016, but the essentials of the world have only passed it as a joke until this year. The Proletariat movement isreal, and it probably should not be. This would be equivalent of the revolution of 50% of the population all believing the plagued socialism within this world in 1500, all caused by a single light-hearted joke. Short answer: We are doomed. Even if you have military bunkers under your flags you would at least not being fed with peanuts unless they are stale in your storage possibly stank with body fluids. This, in the end, will cause either ultimate equality orultimate inequality as either only the filthy damn rich people will survive orthat the poor will also survive, but are stripped of everything except their poverty, not being able to grow crops because those Hoppeans physically removed all crops containing nuts for 30 days with those loud, glorious military choppers imported from the United States to the world. You can establish everything you want to say, but Big Brother is watching you and you have a 50% chance of being sent to labor camps regardless if you are guilty of any crimes.
DART Bard Deemed to be Nonsense by Experts All Around the World
Edited by: Intelligence_06
The recent addition of DART Bard received positive reviews bythe citizens who know nothing about the truths of this world. However, howwould the experts look at this?
&! &$$ &!!!$, a &^^^*& expert of newspaper, who understands zero earth languages, looked upon the newest issue of DARTBard, and said the words of wisdom, “(sorry, we could not transcribe what he said)”, translated “This is a motherf**king turd of f**king bulls**t!”.
Firstname Lastname, a revered professor of journalism graduatedfrom College University has also shown resentment to the newest addition of DARTBard, a response he would usually express when presented with extreme irrationality.
God, who is a genius schooled at home, has physically removed the latest copy shown to both personnels above. The copy we see now is actually a fake copy of the original DART Bard issue. It is unknown who has remade thecopy, possibly Dr. Trum Porter Sr. Jr. Sr. Jr. Sr. Jr., but the new copy has received positive reviews from all three people above, shockingly, especially since the contents are identical to each other.
Centre-Anticentrism is Almost Obsolete
Edited by: Intelligence_06
Pew Research Center have recently claimed that 1 person supports Centre-anticentrism. That is a monumental achievement for thistotally-compatible ideology for the world to use! On that 1,000,000 dollars are spent on behalf of the opposing parties, authoritarian or libertarian, left orright, the 1 loyal supporter of Centre-anticentrism remained loyal and have built his government in the town. Sadly, the town that 1 man governs have all 100% of its citizen dropping 100% negative reviews on said ideology, and that the town is dropping from the #1 productive town to the #1 least productive town due to 100% of the forces being used to enforce this totally-compatible ideology instead of complying with capitalism, the second-greatest evil of ourtimes, the first being communism.
But first, we need to understand what Centre-anticentrism is. Centre-anticentrism first appeared on the internet as a joke, and the way it works is that the supporters of this ideology always claim the status quo by changing it. In other words, it is a subjectively centre, objectively random ideology, never the same one day in and another day out. The 1 person who supports thistotally-compatible ideology have shown to believe in Woman Power one day despite being male and have a history of joining the KKK(In which he joined it for 0.5 hours before being kicked out for supporting only Black individuals).
It is entirely concerning of how this totally-compatible ideology became almost obsolete, having one supporter at the peaks and 0 at thelowest days. We should support it so it could rule the world one day.
Rapping Quality is Dropping Drastically
Edited by: Intelligence_06
Rap is the music for those who can’t sing. For an obviously inferior form of art compared to normal music, it is normal for it to drop drastically in quality. However, we must also look at HOW it is dropping qualities because we should be able to get some laughs watching people whodon’t listen repeatedly trip their feet on thin air.
Let’s not just compare the contemporary raps with ones in the golden age(in which there is no rap at all, so golden!), but with those 20-30years ago in the 1990s. A good example of rap in the 1990s is this song. I wouldn't need to recite the title for you to know which song I am talking about. Such a classic!
“Who let the dogs out? Woof, woof, woof, woof. Who let the dogs out? Woof, woof, woof, woof. Who let the dogs out? Woof, woof, woof, woof” Such insight! Such criticism of the authority, in that the society can’t even keepthe canines in the places they are supposed to go. Why are dogs granted the rights of being in the Human world?
Now, let’stalk about raps as disastrous as this year, made this year. It is as if the kind of guy who made this song is so savage they devolved and returned to monkey.
“I'm a savage, yeah(Okay). Classy, bougie, ratchet, yeah. (Okay) Sassy, moody, nasty, yeah. (Hey, hey, nasty) Acting stupid, what's happening? (Woah, woah, woah, whats happening?) Bitch, what's happening? (Woah, woah, okay)” Woah, what the hell is this? Let me get some brains and come back later.
What kind of rap is this? Swearing is overused, Onomatopoeia are overused, and it advocates for a lifestyle that is synonymous with anarcho-primitivism, but instead of being primitive in society, it is savages in modern society. How on the planet earth could we tolerate this? Rap qualities have obviously devolved so much that people are acting like they are stupid, no, they ARE stupid! The music of the inferior are plaguing themselves,and if they don’t stop, even we will be infected! #RapsRBad!
