gOoDbyE

https://m.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=PKeBHzFsoEU
To those who wronged me, fuck you. To those I wronged, fuck you too because you must have been a really big asshole to deserve such treatment.
The other voice in my head: Dude, it’s supposed to be a sombre departing speech where you apologize for past wrongdoings and they will give you 25+ likes in return wholeheartedly support you on your journey in life. At this rate, you’ll actually be gone from the site er- I mean reprimanded by the mods.
Me: Ok, FIIIIIIINE. I’ll actually make this one good. I want the Friend of the I MEAN I WANT TO LEAVE DEBATEART.ORG ON A POSITIVE NOTE OH YEAH OF COURSE I DO IT’S NOT LIKE I WOULD FAKE MY DEPARTURE FOR 33 LIKES, UNLIKE A CERTAIN *COUGH* RAT *COUGH**COUGH* NOT MENTIONING ANY NAMES HERE
Anyways, where was I again? Oh yeah.
For those I didn't wrong but you still detest me, I couldn't care less. Like, I know that this looks copy-pasted from RM’s “departure”, but it’s not. Like, I actually don’t care about what you say to me, RationalMadman I MEAN OTHER PEOPLE WHO I SHALL NOT DISCLOSE.
For those who do not detest me, I want you to understand that my quitting of this website is to do with seeking a more private life. By private, I mean that I hate talking to other human beings and instead find solace in the comfort that RedTube brings to me. I am becoming an antisocial pornoholic at first glance, but a happier, more self-fulfilled person in the long run.
I also decided not to do the moon landing debate. This is not because I am a lazy procrastinator who goes on RedTube all day (AND I’M NOT), but because I found the TRUTH. You see, I moved to Antarctica years ago with my family because they were penguin hunters. Being raised in a family of penguin hunters, my brother and I were trained from a young age how to hunt penguins. On one fateful expedition that happened yesterday, my brother and I were hunting this golden penguin who was very elusive. My brother readied his net and charged at the penguin, but at the last second, the penguin pulled off a SIKE and broke my brother’s ankles. With his ankles broken, my brother hopelessly tumbled off the edge of the Earth. At that moment, I had an epiphany. I finally realized that RM was right all along and that he was in fact trying to save my brother. I will never forgive myself for this. I now understand that NASA was conspiring with the penguins to kill my brother by brainwashing the vast majority of the people on the flat Earth to believe that the Earth is round so that no one would believe my story. I am also now aware that the Moon is a hologram projected onto the sky by NASA + Illuminati to summon werewolves at night to silence all those who oppose them. Believe the Earth is round, that we landed on the moon, that everything is fine or that everything is not. Make your own mind up, but remember, disagree with NASA and you will end up as werewolf food.
I genuinely am sorry for what a cunt I've been even just yesterday on the website. I mean seriously, I left Wylted and the others hanging in DP1 of the Pizza Mafia. WHAT A CUNT MOVE!!! I may end up seeking professional help but I doubt it, considering that I once made a psychotherapist go so insane that he ended up in a mental asylum. This is not me denouncing debating itself as a bad thing but I do think once you get too into it, it can begin to alter you as a person and make you have an unstoppable urge to  write satirical spinoffs of someone else’s VERY GENUINE parting speeches.
I am not saying that I regret all my rivalries to be clear. In fact, the opposite is true. I love RM (no ho-... oh wait I can’t say that? Ok then). I'm saying I should have been empathetic to my enemies and their victims instead of deciding that my role was as a one-time Grammar Nazi who pointed out RM’s obvious spelling error (aka “bullying”). I am a healer and lover, that was my role all along but what I've been doing in life so far is anything but that. All I’ve done is torment others on the forums with my god awful jokes.
I hope you all genuinely forget about me over time but given how much controversy I expect this thread to generate, I'm sure it will take a few months to fully eradicate my relevance to the site as the dude who really clearly wasn't actually meant to be that great of a debater but I hope eventually you all fully forgive, forget and move on with your lives here and IRL never thinking twice about me. But before you do that, DON’T FORGET TO SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON, HIT SUBSCRIBE, AND RING THAT NOTIFICATION BELL FOR MORE QUALITY CONTENT!!!

Can you promote this really real goodbye speech just like you did with RM’s?

PWEETY PWEASE? :3

Minors come to this website, the mentioning of the 'tube' is itself a legal issue. The rest is a mockery and callout but you should just know this is a callout thread, lock it or rock it.

This is also a perfect example of how flat earthers are shut down by nothing short of shallow mockery without any substance.

Mentioning x-rated sites is itself not prohibited. Parody threads are not necessarily callout threads; however, I will discuss this case internally with moderation to determine a course of action.

LOL YOU WILL DISCUSS INTERNALLY?!

Either that's a good joke or Virtuoso finally has your recognition as the moral compass.

Under 18 use a website where a porn website is discussed just like that?! What are you talking about?!

This is not even a choice, it is law

It is the law that no pornographic content be hosted on this site, and that will be enforced vigorously. It is not the law that pornography cannot be talked about or referenced.

this is why we must have a nsfw section with all the rap battles and stuff like this. You must be 18+ to enter it and that will cover the legal side of things.

The issue here is that there is no legal side to cover. There is no legal ambiguity or jeopardy here: it is not illegal to talk about or reference pornography on site's like this.

Im really sad, lets get this to 33 like ok guys

RM you have talked about pornograhpy a bunch of times, curb you're hyprocasy

There's a huge difference between simply mentioning something and actually posting it. Mentioning "the tube" (as you call it) is not illegal, nor is it against the DART rules and code of conduct. Posting or promoting such content is, but simply mentioning a site isn't. Another example of this would be rape. Advocating and/or promoting rape is illegal, but simply saying the word "rape" isn't. Under your flawed logic, saying "ISIS" should be illegal as well, since it is mentioning a terrorist organization. 

This isn't a callout thread either. A call-out thread is a thread that explicitly calls out another individual. I never explicitly called out anyone on this thread, I simply parodied another thread in the forums. 

The above comment might come in handy 

The current thread parodies this thread:

the same way this thread (maybe not the exact same way, but it's still a parody):

parodies this one:

#15 might come in handy as well

This just made my day, thank you

No problem :P

Yo sure

bye 

Liked it cause it was so sad

bye motherfucker

SAYONARA BITCH

copied and pasteed

Thank you my good sir

Why tag me?

This was beautiful.

Hentaihaven or PornHub

I don't watch but needed to say it for......

MEMES