Leaving the site / Everyday is a battle with my mind / replacement for mafia

Hey everyone. I hate to do this but I feel I need to leave the site. Mharman you'll need to find a replacement for me, I'm sorry. 

So, as of late, I've had so many medical issues, so much stress, and everything good that has happened seemed like it got negated due to it leading eventually to a terrible ending. 

I suspect I'm developing schizophrenia from all this(in a prodromal stage right now) First, my grandmother had it. Second, I seem to have a lot of the symptoms. For a while I've been in complete denial about it. Intellect was the only thing I considered myself good in. I had constant ridicule ans bullying in my life that I started to considwe myself inept in everything and the one thing I considered myself good in was intellect/cognition. To consider that I have schizophrenia is the biggest blow to me I've had for a long time. I really still hope it's not It but I have to explore thw possibility since before I seem to have subconsciously omitted some symptoms to doctors in order to get a different diagnosis(that's how much I couldn't accept it). 

Anyways, my life has become a constant daily battle with fighting with my mind on what is real and what is not. Its quite awful. I 

I really can't spend time on this site anymore. I start a quarter at a university soon, and I need to devote all my energies ans focus on dealing with this problem so I can try to keep on a path to my life goals. 

This site(more like some users) also kind of bother me enough to be close to a trigger of psychosis. Its not good for me, and I need to focus on other things. 

I want to remind everyone that mental illness is more complicated than anyone peobablyncan can imagine. Telling someone with depression fir example to "get out of bed" and "you're not even trying to fight it" is overlooking a lot and is insensitive. Mental illness should be treated with care. It's not always the case someone will seem crazy if they have one. They may appear normal but actually have a serious problem. 

With that... Here are some songs from Mike Shinoda(from Linkin Park) that encapsulate what I often have been feeling lately:

Come back as the same user so we can see what strategies you used to conquer your demons. Perhaps it will contain strategies useful.for others

Actually talking to oneself is not schizophrenia, neither is having voices in one's head that are oneself. Dissociative identity disorder is not schizophrenia but schizophrenics can believe someone other than themselves is talking to them, this is how the confusion began.

To add to the confusion, there are three variants of schizophrenia:

To make the differences clear I am going to extreme 'single type' cases (people often can have 'in between' schizophrenia that encompasses 2 of the 3 elements but no one has all 3).

1) The Schizophrenic is hallucinating relationships between things that just aren't there and is a very warped but intricate world of self-contained, self-fulfilling paranoia.

2) The Schizophenic literally hallucinates. Auditory and visual are far more common than touch. They never hallucinate taste or smell, if they do that is another illness or could be emphyzema masquerading as schizophrenia.

3) The Schizophrenic is still, doesn't move much... Not even blinking more than is absolutely necessary. Their entire body becomes statue-like. They believe that they are trapped in a dream and that they have zero obligation to move, eat, drink etc. Sometimes they will slow their metabolism so extremely that they don't even need to eat for almost 2 entire days. They feel like they genuinely, undeniably are in a simulation and/or dream and cannot be 'snapped into reality' without a lot of therapy and medication. They often will end up homeless and kicked out because as this goes along they become hostile, violent even, when snapped out of their stasis, furious that people in the dream are trying to prevent them from resting until they wake up in the 'real world'.

BYE DUDE, it was fun while it lasted

I'm praying for you to get MUCH better

Never said it was, just thought it was a cool song with a relatable story and a somewhat similar genre to what CCs tastes seem to be based on the limited info I have. You listen to it or just read the title?

It isn't about voices in someone's head nor is it about literally talking to oneself. In fact it has nothing to do with mental disorders whatsoever.

I wish you the best in life

Damn sorry to see you go. I actually enjoyed a lot of your debates.

Hope that others and you do the best you can to find and act upon a solution.

If someone gives medical advice. Don't listen unless they are qualified.

My advice is speak to the professionals as in doctors and therapists. 

damm

Sorry, I meant encencephalitis, not emphysema, though in emphysema you do start to smell things wrong or not at all (same with taste).

Encephalitis having a similar name and me being tired at the time of typing that as well as multitasking are my excuse.

Song is still not about any sort of mental health situations of any kind.

It's just about life. Just livin' life.

Why is everyone leaving this site :(

It's just something we flick in and out of occasionally for a bit of mental stimulation, when we have the time available to do so.

As such we leave regularly and return when it suits us.

Nothing to get hung up about.

Yeah, you're right

Goodbye, schizophrenia is a serious thing, feel bad for you.