Sometimes the hardest thing for me to do around here is not resort to name calling and mockery. People are so rude to me. It seems like the dumber someone is, the more arrogant they are. When I condescend to accommodate the learning disability of the person I am talking to, they just insult me more and declare victory.
It is not easy for me to be to be nice. It is hard. I look at these people who can't control their emotions, and say whatever is on their minds. No restraint, no self control. I see these people as weak and foolish people. They pitiable and hopelessly ignorant.
It is not easy to love. It is easy to hate. I don't think this is appreciated enough.
I pray that my untruth not obscure the truth of God, fool that I am.
A prayer of Fr SophronyO Eternal Lord and Creator of all things, in your inscrutable goodness you have called me into this life and have given me the grace of baptism and the seal of the gift of the Holy Spirit. You have instilled in me the desire to seek your face. Hear my prayer!I have no life, no light, no joy, no strength, no wisdom without you, O God. Because of my unrighteousness, I dare not lift my eyes in your presence. But I obey you who said:Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.Truly, truly I say to you, if you ask anything of the Father He will give it to you in my name. Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.Therefore I now dare to approach you. Purify me from all stain of flesh and spirit. Teach me to pray rightly. Bless this day which you give to me, your unworthy servant.By the power of your blessing enable me at all times to speak and to act with a pure spirit to your glory; with faith, hope and love, humility, patience, gentleness, peace, purity, simplicity, sobriety, courage and wisdom. Let me always be aware of your presence.In your boundless goodness, O Lord God, show me your will and grant me to walk in your sight without sin.O Lord, unto whom all hearts are open, you know what I need and what is necessary for me. You know my blindness and my ignorance. You know my infirmity and corruption. My pain and anguish are not hidden from you. Therefore I beg you: Hear my prayer and teach me by the power of your Holy Spirit the way in which I should walk. And when my perverted will leads me otherwise, O Lord, do not spare me, but force me back to your way.Grant me, Lord, to hold fast to what is good by the power of your love. Preserve me from every word and act which corrupts the soul, and from every impulse that is unpleasing in your sight and harmful to the people around me. Teach me what I should say and how I should speak. If it be your holy will that I be quiet and make no answer, inspire me to be silent in a peaceful spirit that causes neither harm nor hurt to my fellow human beings.Establish me in the path of your commandments, and until my last breath do not let me stray from the light of your ordinances. May your commandments be the sole law of my being in this life and for all eternity.O Lord, I pray to you: Have mercy on me. Spare me in my affliction and misery and hide not the way of salvation from me.In my foolishness, O God, I plead with you for many and great things. Yet I am ever mindful of my wickedness, my baseness, my vileness. Have pity on me! Cast me not away from your presence because of my foolish presumption. Increase rather in me the right presumption of your grace and grant that I, the worst of people, may love you with all my mind, all my heart, all my soul and all my strength, as you have commanded.By your Holy Spirit, Lord, teach me good judgment and sound knowledge. Let me know the truth before I die. Maintain my life in this world until the end that I may offer worthy repentance. Do not take me away while my mind is still blind and bound by darkness. When you are pleased to end my life, give me warning that I may prepare my soul to come before you. Be with me, Lord, at that awesome hour and assure me by your grace of the joy of my salvation.Cleanse me from secret faults. Purify me from hidden iniquities. Give me a good answer at your dread judgment seat.Lord of great mercy and measureless love for all people: Hear my prayer! Amen.
I feel better