Bsh was reading a fascinating piece of regulatory code about the cut of pickles allowed to be served on burgers when the knock came. Checking his watch. he was surprised to see that it was nearly 1 AM.
"Who could possibly be calling at this hour?"
He looked through the peephole and saw, to his shock, YYW.
"YY! It's you! You're alive!" Bsh exclaimed happily as he quickly swung open the door.
YYW said nothing, merely moved into the entryway and closed the door. Turning around, he locked the deadbolt.
"How did you survive? Th-they told me you were dead!"
"They told me you've been talking to the FBI. The Russian infiltrated FBI."
"Oh YY it's horrible...it turns out that Thett was knowingly violating a whole host of regulations and he has to be brought to justice. I thought that his negligence got you killed. And you don't actually believe this fake news Russia conspiracy, do you? Republicans are just mad that President West won in a landslide. Oh G-d I thought you were dead!"
"And yet I'm not dead."
"You're not dead!"
"I'm not...but you are."
Before Bsh could even process that statement, YYW was swinging at him with a baseball bat. Only long practice as a pirate allowed Bsh to dodge the blow, and quickly grab a metal pipe he had lying around for narrative convenience to parry YYW's next swing. Bsh's instincts kicked in and soon enough the two were engaged in a vicious brawl that quickly spilled out of the entry way and into the living room. His heart rate rose and with it, his anger. Soon enough even though he still wasn't sure what they were fighting about he was earnestly attempting to kill YYW.
The two exchanged blow after blow before YYW knocked the metal pipe out of Bsh's hands. Thinking quickly, Bsh cartwheeled to his bookshelf and began throwing the entire Code of Federal Regulations at YYW, who continually batted away book after book as if he were Babe Ruth. Finally, YYW missed one and a heavy tome slammed directly into his forehead. Bsh took this chance to retrieve his metal pipe to bring it down on YYW's prone body, but he was already up. The two exchanged more blows for several minutes before YYW spoke.
"I have failed you Bsh. I have failed you."
"I should've known that Thett was planning to violate federal regulations!"
"Bsh, the federal government is evil!"
"From my point of view it's the free market that is evil."
"THEN YOU ARE LOST!"
More blows were exchanged before finally YYW leapt onto the coffee table.
"It's over Bsh! I have the high ground!"
"You underestimate my jumping abilities!"
"Don't try it--white men can't jump."
But Bsh did attempt to jump. And as he did, YYW brought his baseball bat down on his knees and suddenly the fight was over. Bsh lay on the ground moaning.
YYW got up to leave, but couldn't stop without saying his piece.
"You were the first mate! It was said that you would destroy the Russians, not join them! Bring balance to the market, not leave it in darkness."
"I HATE YOU!" Bsh spat in response.
"You were my husband, Bsh. I loved you!"
And with that, YYW turned to leave. Slamming the door behind him, he noticed for the first time a flyer tacked to the door:
"PRESIDENTS RAP BATTLE TOURNAMENT!
Winners and their entourage receive a private meeting with President West himself!"
Suddenly YYW was struck with inspiration.
--------------------------
Thett was incredibly nervous. As confident of a guy as he was, taking part in an intelligence community coup to depose the president and declare yourself interim President-King would rattle anyone. Mueller had outfitted Thett in the finest robes that money could buy along with a brand new Smart Crown that connected to both his iPhone, and his similarly new jeweled iSword.
But for better or for worse, today was the day. He had gone over the speech again and again with Tyrone who, in addition to his musical talents was a noted public speaker. Tyrone would be sticking around in Thett's administration as his speechwriter and also to provide political cover in case his blackface photo surfaced.
Thett was jerked out his thoughts by shouting and the sounds of a tussle. Leaving his private chambers, he saw YYW fighting Robert Mueller as RationalMadman stood by sheepishly.
"What's going on here! Stop!"
"Thett, do you have any idea what he did? He assaulted an FBI witness and left him in critical condition. The entire damn department is on the highest alert now. This idiot blew up everything!"
"Thett, you've got to listen to me" YYW interjected "Please, I have a plan that could fix it all, you don't have to do this!"
"Robert, please allow YY to speak with me."
YYW gave Mueller a dirty look and then showed Thett a crumpled flyer.
"Read this! This is our key to getting to President West and explaining everything."
"But I don't know how to rap."
"I don't either...but he does." YYW gestured to RationalMadman. "He does."
