Biden Announces Plan To Pretend To Care About The Border Until November 6

Author: Greyparrot
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#1
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"After issuing executive orders to open the border and let ten million migrants through, we want everyone to know that now President Biden cares very deeply about border security," said Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, winking for effect. "We 'don't want people crossing the border' to 'vote for Biden' and 'inflate Electoral College votes for Democratic states'," explained Jean-Pierre doing little scare quotes.

According to sources, internal polling on the issue showed that voters would trust a mentally-handicapped rabbit to handle the border over President Biden. "We've got to do something while still letting illegals in. But what?" wondered Democratic strategist Arlo Miles at a meeting. "Wait, I've got it! What if we... pretended to care about the border? It's just so crazy, it might work!"

Journalists praised Biden for his incredible work acting like he cared about the border. "Biden has done an incredible job seeming like this crisis interests him," said MSNBC's Joe Scarbarough. "Biden is such a great leader, and actor, and he's just so handsome and wonderful...and WHY WON'T HE RETURN MY CALLS? WHY?? I LOVE YOU JOE!!!"

At publishing time, White House sources confirmed they planned to keep up the clever ruse for approximately five months and one day.
#2
IwantRooseveltagain
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We had bipartisan legislation ready to go in the Senate from Senator Lankford. Trump rejected it because he doesn’t care about immigrants, the border, the poor or the working poor.

He only cares about staying out of jail.
#3
FLRW
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@Greyparrot
What would Jesus do?
  • Refugees — individuals who have fled their home country due to a well-founded fear of persecution, war, violence, or serious harm to their life, physical well-being, or freedom. When someone meets the criteria of a refugee, they are entitled under international law to protection and assistance. In many cases, the circumstances that force families to flee their homes are ongoing crises that make it unsafe for them to return for many years — or leave them without a home to return to — resulting in prolonged displacement.
  • Asylum seekers — anyone who seeks international protection due to persecution or harm in their home country. Every refugee was initially an asylum-seeker, so when this term is used, it is often meant to indicate someone who is seeking but has not yet been officially granted refugee status by a host country. When an individual applies for asylum, the host country’s government evaluates the claim and determines if the individual meets the criteria for refugee status under international law. If so, they are then formally recognized as a refugee and granted the according protections. If denied, they may be required to leave the country they sought refuge in.

    • Topic's author
    #4
    Greyparrot
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    @FLRW
    Well apparently, being like Trump is more popular than being like Jesus, so Biden is gonna shut down the asylum seekers with Trump-like policies.

    It's too bad Jesus and Biden do not poll well.
    #5
    Best.Korea
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    @FLRW
    What would Satan do?
    #6
    Best.Korea
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    @Greyparrot
    Trump is Satan. Bible predicted that Satan will rise and seduce people.
    Topic's author
    #7
    Greyparrot
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    @Best.Korea
    Satan does poll better than Jesus or Biden.
    #8
    IlDiavolo
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    I told you, Biden will do everything to win the elections no matter if he messes up Americans' future.
    #9
    ADreamOfLiberty
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    @Greyparrot
    Your cynical sarcasm is the bane of baiters and trolls.
    #10
    IwantRooseveltagain
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    It's too bad Jesus and Biden do not poll well.
    But MAGA MORONS don’t believe in polling. Polls are produced by the Deep State.

    #11
    IwantRooseveltagain
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    Your cynical sarcasm is the bane of baiters and trolls.
    His cynical sarcasm is typical of useless Libertarians 

    Imagine grown men who read the Babylon Bee, lol, fake Christian news for the Libertarian MAGA MORONS 

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    #12
    Greyparrot
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    @ADreamOfLiberty
    lol