I probably have a funny nickname for you

Author: cristo71

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Back when I was flight instructing, I had a few annoying and tedious students whom I would frequently vent about to my roommates after a long day. So that my roommates would immediately know which one I was talking about, I gave them unique nicknames, and— viola!— instant recognition. One was a guy in his 60’s but going on his 80’s in demeanor, appearance, and overall health, he liked to drone on about arcane subjects but disliked listening to anyone else, he would burp a lot, and do back stretches on the floor without warning— a real odd bod. As he was also blind in one eye, I dubbed him “Old One Eye”— as one might jokingly call an animal when one is always seeing it from the rear when riding on a carriage; get it?

Another was a young man who had tragically lost his legs to a rare infection. A tough break, indeed, but he was also annoyingly cocky, held kooky conspiracy theory and religious beliefs, and just kind of creeped everybody out with his demeanor and penetrating, almost vampire like grey eyes. The Lord of the Rings movies were all the rage at the time, so I dubbed him “Legolas.” Get it?

Finally, there was a woman from Japan, anywhere from 28 to 38 years old. Intelligent and pleasant, she was also, without a doubt, THE weakest student I ever had— just no natural ability or instincts whatsoever. Whenever I vented about her, guys would just hear the “young Japanese woman” part and inevitably ask, “Is she a hottie?” I would always respond, “No, she’s not a hottie.” Hmm— Not-a-hottie— sounds sort of like a Japanese name— Nottahotti it was! These nicknames all stuck, and thereafter my roommates would constantly ask if I had any more funny stories to tell about these three.

Fast forward to the here and now— this site is basically a troll farm now, lacking in true wit and rife with vapid threads, stubborn ignorance, and non-committal, “drive-by” style posts. In light of these manifestations of mediocrity, I have probably given you a moniker of a mocking nature reflecting your online persona better (to me, at least) than your own chosen screen name, assuming you are a frequent enough poster on this intellectual desert of a site.

For example, there is a poster here I call “EverybodyLovesWinning!” How did I arrive at that? It derives from this poster’s current name. Think of the old sitcom “Everybody Loves [comedian’s name].” Then there is a certain, bad boy actor whose notorious, un-self aware boast was simply “Winning!” From there, you should be able to guess who it is.

If you’re curious to know what yours might be, just hit me up!
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@cristo71
Then there is a certain, bad boy actor whose notorious, un-self aware boast was simply “Winning!” From there, you should be able to guess who it is.
RationalMadman
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@3RU7AL
Nope. Think newer to the site, religion forum dweller.
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@cristo71
I want a nickname.
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@Best.Korea
You got one— Burger.King (BK for short)
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@cristo71
Think of the old sitcom “Everybody Loves [comedian’s name].”
Think newer to the site, religion forum dweller.
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@Savant
We have a winner!
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@cristo71
You got one— Burger.King (BK for short)
I can live with that. I like burgers.

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@Best.Korea
Home of “The Whopper”!
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Nicknames of people where I work:

Beauford T 

Biff

Milk dud

Taliban

Gumby

Dumplin

Timaaay
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@sadolite
Any backstories to those names? Especially “Taliban.”
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@cristo71

Beauford T  > This is me. Got it from yelling at people for going into my tool box taking tools and not returning them.

Biff >  This guy got this nick name for acting like he was a bad ass but then got his ass kicked by a guy half his size at work. It was a glorious thing to watch.

Milk dud >  This guy got this nick name for a story he told about when he was like 3 or 4 years old. The story goes he has to take a shit but didn't want to go inside because he was having so much fun playing so he just shit in his pants and shook the shit out down his pant leg. The shit was hard and shaped like milk duds.,

Taliban > This guy just looks like the Taliban when he wraps a rag around his head.

Gumby > This guy is just big and awkward

Dumplin > This is also me, I opened an app on my phone  that was titled what is your hippi name. All the girls at work call me this.

Timaaay > this guys name is Tim so Timaaay


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@sadolite
Nice!

Biff >  This guy got this nick name for acting like he was a bad ass but then got his ass kicked by a guy half his size at work. It was a glorious thing to watch.
“Hello? McFly!”

Gumby > This guy is just big and awkward
“I’m Gumby, Damnit!”

9 days later

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Ok guys, I simply have too many nicknames to go to waste. So… due to a distinct lack of popular demand, I’m doing a total nickname dump:

Lex Luthor, Double L, Double (S)tandards, Double (D)ouche, Douchus Maximus
Captain Queeg (from “The Caine Mutiny”), Captain Oveur (from “Airplane” and “Airplane II”)
Professor Non Sequitur aka Fellow Lacking Relevant Witticisms
Snidetalker aka White Guilt Walking
Brit Middler aka zitvector4
Unagi
HistoryBoof
IrrationalMadblocker aka “The cat that always comes back”
GayPurr-ee or The Libertarian Cynic
smugash3x
effedbuc
TheUnderboob
ADreamOfBestiality
ShitRaiser
Benjamin Yahoo
BK at the Mall
Masterb-8-a-bull
5CRU3ALL
criticAI-tim 
WhamBamAmber
Bingo Baggins

While a guy should really never self nickname, in the interest of fair play I will suggest (drumroll):  pissto71