Are you a forgiving person?

Forgiveness is only good if you can use it to your advantage, like raise your position in society or make the person you forgive serve you to your advantage.

I'll forgive most things but I never forget anything. "Fool me once"

It also depends on how big one's ego is. The bigger the ego you have the more difficult it is to forgive.

Forgiveness means the capacity to let bad things go, it doesnt mean getting along with the person that hurt you. You have to let people get away with the harm done to you, that is difficult but psycologically speaking it is good for the mind or spirit if you want to use religious language.

I learned to become one. The grudge(s) hurt(s) you a lot more than the one(s) you hold it/them against. Even if they don't, it is still an ailment.

I couldn't exist on this website without forgiving a lot of abusive shits for how they treated me, it's so much healthier to let it go but as Sadolite said, never forget.

Take note of the toxic shits in your life and distance from them, don't keep running back or being open to them. Don't hate them, they can't help being that way.

By nature I am a vengeful guy for sure, it's a trait I learned comes with very few upsides and much more self sabotaging downsides.

I'm not sure about the letting get away part .

You can be forgiving with the punishment or retribution administered.

Unless you mean letting go, not holding on with a grudge or resentment.

Many people that can't forgive will hold resentment against others that will forgive , even the most heinous of things.

The most unspeakable things, if I have forgiveness for such a one, I will be vilified by those that actually believe in "good " people vs. "bad" people.

Preach , preach.

A total forgiving person, one that has no resentment, no grudges, no anger, has total peace.

Anger? Na, sometimes you need that to end up in a place of peace. We're gonna have to disagree there. Anger is a very important emotion, it's about channeling it the right way.

Anger is a pre fight or flee, defence strategy, relative to endocrinal activity.

Which is why people tends to get less angry, as they get older.

Which is not to say, that the same strategy has not also developed and expanded upon in other ways.

Forgiveness or the inability to forget, is one of the drawbacks of memory.

R-man and Sado  are both correct. A Japanese study confirms the practice how to do this..

..." Now Japanese scientists have proven that the practice can work in everyday life, after showing that writing down irritations on paper – then destroying it – really does quell furious feelings.

Hummm... are you sure, Victor? It should be the contrary because being old is not pleasant at all, specially if they catch a disease.

I once saw an old man having an anger attack when complaining about a phone service. He even started to throw the chairs and other things through the employees. Lol.

I was generalising, in respect of sexual angst in younger males.

Though I would suggest that there is a difference between anger and frustration as people age.

Chair man would have been fun to see.

Anger is the opposite of peace so how is it going to bring you to peace?

You have to lose the anger first. In the absence of anger you have peace. You can only forgive when you have no anger, no resentment, certainly no hatred.

When you drop the anger, you can begin to forgive. When you finally rid of anger for good, you have complete peace. 

It being an emotion doesn't make it by default justifiable to have . This is what perpetuates the hatred in society.

Enjoy being a pushover.

So you think you have to have anger to be strict, stern, assertive, disciplinary, authoritative,firm, defensive, a leader, to have thick skin, be outspoken, convicting, moderately easygoing, moderately resistant, moderately tolerable,etc.

Do you think drill instructors are angry in boot camp?

Just because they amplify their voices, give commands, push you hard.

If this is your thought process, you haven't learned what life is without anger in the correct manner.

People that still hang on to anger trying to justify it can't see the actual reality. Believing that anger and complete peace co-exist.

It is true what they say about anger blinding you. That's why you say a lot of things you don't mean when you're angry. No peace, no clear thinking, can't see what you're doing, unaware of everything.

Probably never will then, however I don't think I only meant it in the drill instructor sense.

I am the type of guy that I promise you, I could spend 17 years in solitary confinement kidnapped and enslaved and not once, not ever would I properly lose the urge to rip you apart and get free, I'd just bide my time and wait, wait wait. Most would break, cave in and conform. However, unlike my nature, I have learned the lust for elongating or overdoing the revenge is futile, escape and getting happy is the main perogative. Thus I am both forgiving and angry.

Are you forgiving some, not others maintaining the anger?

If not that, what continues the anger ?

Couldn't that residual anger undo the forgiving?

Couldn't that forgiving power that enables you to let go, be free of past hurt, dissolving the anger from those things spread to everything else?

I personally think forgiveness is crucial to good mental health. The more forgiving you are the more humble. The Biblical Hebrew word for humility means to be aware of your weaknesses as well as your strengths. Even raised as atheist/irreligious I picked up on that very young,  long before becoming a believer. What makes it harder? Ego, ideology. I believe all sin comes from one and the same source. So, no matter how much a person is made to look like a monster, you (in the royal sense, me, you and everyone) could do the same damage. Seeing that, and the need for forgiveness, makes you more self aware.