george carlin was a genius and a visionary and i miss him very much.

Author: Statichead

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Statichead
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i miss george carlin a lot. I quote him on a daily basis and listen to his old shows so many times that I knw exactly what the next sentence is. I know every punchline, every commentary. 

one time i found an older recording from a show he did in Florida. Thing is, it was difficult to find because it was recorded privately and not officially.
I still knew every line, every joke, except one.

"We kissed and my balls exploded."

I laughed very hard at this. this joke is not even that funny. I just never heard it from this man I claim as my idol on this planet.
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Saw him live a couple of time in college.  A true philosopher king of comedy.
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He was absolutely not
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@Statichead
We all have our favourite stand-ups.

Mine is a British guy named Stewart Lee.

Who you probably wouldn't get at all.

Though he does shares a certain sarcastic wit with George Carlin, which is the sort of comedy that I enjoy.
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Carlin was a genius, see 51 Genius Quotes That Prove George Carlin Was A Modern Philosopher

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He is most definitely my favorite comedian and favorite contrarian. The fact that he could also reach partisan sheep and make them laugh is a testament to his genius, essentially making the crowd laugh at their own stupidity.
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@Statichead
Mine is a British guy named Stewart Lee.

Watched new one on Netflix the other night, TIffany Haddish titled ' Black Mitzvah ', LINK

She is the only other person ---barring one--- who Ive heard talk about something on stage, that, I learned about myself after ingesting a substance.

That balls have a life of their own!  I could hardly believe it when I saw it, cause I was in my 30's before I ever noticed this phenomena of motion with the testes.

I was focused visually on my balls long enough to notice this suckers are expanding-contracting and moving all around in the scrotum/sac, and I'm like mind blown at what I'm seeing.  These puppies have a life of their own, or so it appeared to me then, and I still think the best way to label it. This is not mentioned in the link below, so I would have to search the net more.

.." 10 Facts About Testicles Everyone Should Know....

Testicular torsion is when a testicle twists and rotates the spermatic cord that moves blood to your testicle. This twisting action cuts off blood flow to the testis, resulting in pain and dying testicle tissue.........

Blue balls, known medically as epididymal hypertension (EH), happen when the blood vessels to the penis and testicles expand to make room for increased blood flow, said Dr. Reitano."...
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im super theist... but i love carlin's bit on anti god and religion

video:

text:

When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ’til the end of time!
But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!
But I want you to know something, this is sincere, I want you to know, when it comes to believing in God, I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.
Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you’d expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would’ve been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago. And by the way, I say “this guy”, because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if there is a God, it has to be a man.
No woman could or would ever fuck things up like this. So, if there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he’s at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn’t give a shit. Doesn’t give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results.
So rather than be just another mindless religious robot, mindlessly and aimlessly and blindly believing that all of this is in the hands of some spooky incompetent father figure who doesn’t give a shit, I decided to look around for something else to worship. Something I could really count on.
And immediately, I thought of the sun. Happened like that. Overnight I became a sun-worshipper. Well, not overnight, you can’t see the sun at night. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. Several reasons. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Unlike some other gods I could mention, I can actually see the sun. I’m big on that. If I can see something, I don’t know, it kind of helps the credibility along, you know? So everyday I can see the sun, as it gives me everything I need; heat, light, food, flowers in the park, reflections on the lake, an occasional skin cancer, but hey. At least there are no crucifixions, and we’re not setting people on fire simply because they don’t agree with us.
Sun worship is fairly simple. There’s no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don’t have a special building where we all gather once a week to compare clothing. And the best thing about the sun, it never tells me I’m unworthy. Doesn’t tell me I’m a bad person who needs to be saved. Hasn’t said an unkind word. Treats me fine. So, I worship the sun. But, I don’t pray to the sun. Know why? I wouldn’t presume on our friendship. It’s not polite.
I’ve often thought people treat God rather rudely, don’t you? Asking trillions and trillions of prayers every day. Asking and pleading and begging for favors. Do this, gimme that, I need a new car, I want a better job. And most of this praying takes place on Sunday His day off. It’s not nice. And it’s no way to treat a friend.
But people do pray, and they pray for a lot of different things, you know, your sister needs an operation on her crotch, your brother was arrested for defecating in a mall. But most of all, you’d really like to fuck that hot little redhead down at the convenience store. You know, the one with the eyepatch and the clubfoot? Can you pray for that? I think you’d have to. And I say, fine. Pray for anything you want. Pray for anything, but what about the Divine Plan?
Remember that? The Divine Plan. Long time ago, God made a Divine Plan. Gave it a lot of thought, decided it was a good plan, put it into practice. And for billions and billions of years, the Divine Plan has been doing just fine. Now, you come along, and pray for something. Well suppose the thing you want isn’t in God’s Divine Plan? What do you want Him to do? Change His plan? Just for you? Doesn’t it seem a little arrogant? It’s a Divine Plan. What’s the use of being God if every run-down shmuck with a two-dollar prayerbook can come along and fuck up Your Plan?
And here’s something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers aren’t answered. What do you say? “Well, it’s God’s will.” “Thy Will Be Done.” Fine, but if it’s God’s will, and He’s going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me! Couldn’t you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? It’s all very confusing.
So to get around a lot of this, I decided to worship the sun. But, as I said, I don’t pray to the sun. You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he’s a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn’t fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with.
For years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog, Joe Pesci straightened that cocksucker out with one visit. It’s amazing what you can accomplish with a simple baseball bat.
So I’ve been praying to Joe for about a year now. And I noticed something. I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don’t. Same as God, 50-50. Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe, the wishing well and the rabbit’s foot, same as the Mojo Man, same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat’s testicles, it’s all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself.
And for those of you who look to The Bible for moral lessons and literary qualities, I might suggest a couple of other stories for you. You might want to look at the Three Little Pigs, that’s a good one. Has a nice happy ending, I’m sure you’ll like that. Then there’s Little Red Riding Hood, although it does have that X-rated part where the Big Bad Wolf actually eats the grandmother. Which I didn’t care for, by the way. And finally, I’ve always drawn a great deal of moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I like the best? “All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again.” That’s because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no God. None, not one, no God, never was.
In fact, I’m gonna put it this way. If there is a God, may he strike this audience dead! See? Nothing happened. Nothing happened? Everybody’s okay? All right, tell you what, I’ll raise the stakes a little bit. If there is a God, may he strike me dead. See? Nothing happened, oh, wait, I’ve got a little cramp in my leg. And my balls hurt. Plus, I’m blind. I’m blind, oh, now I’m okay again, must have been Joe Pesci, huh? God Bless Joe Pesci. Thank you all very much. Joe Bless You!

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Thanks for the suggestion!

Why do you think I wouldnt understand it?
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@Statichead
I thought maybe a bit too British.

Give him a go and let me know what you think.


15 days later

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On June 22, 2008, at the age of 71, Carlin died due to heart failure at Saint John's Health Center in Santa Monica, California.
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sad that he died.
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Yes, very sad.
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@Statichead
Comedy Central currently has clip, our options for president in USA is a one man who is 80 yrs old and the other facing 80 years to life.
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unfortunately its even worse than that
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@Statichead
80 years to life is pretty bad choice for USA leader

80 years old with good cognitive abilities and years of political process is a blessing compared to the the above.  And if he dies we another person with political experience and doesnt want to create apocalypse on Earth with chariot of white horses coming from the sky to take us all to heaven.   ---this latter make good skit on SNL---