My friend's new mixtape "4 Da Ladeez" is an abominable piece of garbage and here is why in a track-by-track analysis:
"4 Da Ladeez / 5 Star Man" is a horrifically incoherent two-parter song that features one half cheesy autotune rubbish and the other half horribly mixed trap-rap.
The first part "4 Da Ladeez" have a pretty piano melody but everything else about the track is god-awful. The drums are mixed way too quietly and the autotuned vocals, while endearing, are borderline unlistenable not just because of their sheer roughness but the subtle shakiness of them, especially in the bridge, that makes me wonder how he ever thought this was the right take to keep. It's bad Kanye "808s & Heartbreak" worship. Nothing more. Nothing less.
The second part "5 Star Man" follows shortly after in a rather jarring transition that doesn't mesh well enough to warrant its inclusion in the same exact track as the title track. Granted, despite the terribly mixed trap beat, this track starts off promising with a rather ingenious flip on a vocal excerpt from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia", and the "na na na na na na na (pause) na na na naa naa naa (pause) na na na na na na na (pause) IM A FIVE STAR MAN!!!!!!!" melody he kicks it off with is pretty cool as well, but when we get into the hook, that's when the song turns to utter trash. Not only is the melody weak, but the vocals sound even worse than they did on the first song. Ironically, autotune could have maybe saved this track a little. And the lyrics in the verses are just so lame, most notably "Whole lotta space in your rear, you's an ass-tronaut". For the most part, it's embarrassing tough guy pondering from a guy who's literally never been laid in his life and after this album will DEFINITELY never get laid. Incompetent, ill-conceived, annoying, not good.
Unfortunately, the album gets even worse with the song "Cover Me" which for some reason features a fucking R. Kelly sample. Why anyone would want to be affiliated with R. Kelly in 2024, I'm not sure, but here we are. The track kicks off with an incredibly corny, badly-mixed pitched down "DJ" voice that sounds like an insulting DJ Screw parody, pretty resemblant of the cheesy DJ breaks off of Drake's "For All the Dogs" album but even more pointless considering this is a literally just a 3 song EP. The beat drops soon after and sounds even crappier than the last song not just because the bass in this beat is...nonexistent, there is no bass, but the drums sound flaccid as hell and the R. Kelly "Slow Dance" sample doesn't even sound good, as the reversed horn is ear-piercing and unpleasant to listen to. The sung hook is catchy but lazily performed. The verses are also badly mixed and written, kind of mumbled at points, and the return of the pitched down vocals aren't flattering either. Song sucks. Worst song on the album.
By contrast, "Cold In the Streets" is noticeably better since the beat is decent and the song is mixed more pristinely than the rest of the album, but here, Mr. Blade fucks up the melodies so badly that it's insane. Lyrics are unintelligible behind the mumbled, autotune-drenched vocals. Plus, the shouted "COLD IN THE STREETS WHA COLD IN THE STREETS WHA COLD IN THE STREETS WHA COLDINTHE COLDINTHE COLDINTHE COLDINTHE" at the end of the song sounds like a bad Playboi Carti impression and the added distortion on the vocals is highly unnecessary. Also, the song is literally one minute long so it doesn't even leave that great of an impact of the listener. Why even keep this one? WHY EVEN MAKE THIS SHIT?
This is some of the lamest music I've ever heard period. It's mixed like shit, it sounds like shit, it's written like shit, it's performed like shit. A few good ideas here and there but overall, they're cancelled out by the horny monotony of the rest of album.
Unfortunately, the alleged "5 Star Man" gets 0 stars from this guy.
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wow you are right. I added a review here if you are curious: https://favesongs.wordpress.com/2024/05/28/4-da-ladeez-skate-blade/